As was teased on TVgasm earlier, this week's episode of Nip/Tuck had something you don't see very much outside of the specialty section of your local porn shop: Midget sex. Okay, okay, not full-on hardcore midget-to-midget sex, but rather the seduction of our favorite unstable heroine, Julia, by Manny Marlow, who I think is more of a "little person" than a midget. Regardless, while even the suggestion of little people sex, is surely enough to get this series back on track, and I'm quite upset to inform all of you, or those of you who care, that the Christian gay undertones of earlier in the season have all but vanished. Oh how I miss the days of yore, where Christian would shower with AC Slater and I can down a six-pack to dull the pain of the obvious subtext Nip/Tuck was trying to throw at us. However, I'm hopeful that one day, and one day soon, Christian will be back to his Is He or Isn't He Glory, especially since with this show's penchant for abandoning storylines only to have them pop up later (What up Brooke Shields!). So far now we have to settle for the midget sex, and ack, a heaping dose of Lez. On second thought maybe I'll bring out my six-pack to dull the pain anyway...
Well, well, well. How the mighty have fallen. It seems that Lez, always the ugly duckling, never the swan, has joined the ranks of the superficial, as she is on the receiving end of a "Tell me what you don't like about yourself," consult. It seems that the lesbian dating scene has gotten much more competitive since the Martina Navratilova days. Now when even Marissa Cooper is dipping her tongue in the Sapphic pool, it's a lot harder for a "dyke" to snag a "lesbian." Lez even has a new lady friend, who is younger and hotter, so Lez decided it was time for a little Lypo. Christian is eating all of this up, cause you know he and Lez have an "antagonist" relationship. Sean is a little more concerned about the sudden about face in Lez's moral ground. He's also concerned that she really injured herself when falling off her high horse. ZING! Honestly, congratulations Lez. yYou might have been a moralizing, nattering speakerbox, but at least you didn't succumb to the pressures to live up to the unfair standards of beauty, espacially for women, in society. It wasn't much, and I didn't like the way you went about expressing your opinion, but at least I could respect you. Whoops! There goes that! The guys tell Lez that although she's ugly as sin, that perhaps she shouldn't undertake another surgery so closely after her kidney replacement. Lez is outraged. She starts making all these threats about quitting Mac/Troy and going to another surgeon who will do her entire surgery for free and has offered her a job. And then Lez can fulfill her deep dark desire to appear on the revival of The Swan (was that show the lowest point in human history? Just a thought...). So Lez you mean to tell me that after all Sean and Christian have done for you, with the dialysis and the caretaking, etc. etc. etc. you'd be willing to leave their employ because they are looking out for your best interest and health by saying no to your surgery? Reason number 9,302,198,301,928 why I hate Lez. The boys obviously cave.
In some seedy remote area our favorite former Miss Goodthighs turned psychopathic Pimp/organ harvester (put that on your business card, Patrick Bateman) James, runs into a couple of her old friends who are looking for their kidney payment for the month. Oh my God! Are those the Cho brothers!??!? No, it's not, it's two other Asian mobsters, but how cool would it have been if Phil's next detour was for the racers to head over to Mac/Troy? A B-Side/Umnata crossover recap!?!?! Glorious! Anyway, two Asian mobsters (my fav kind!) douse James with some gasoline and threaten to light her up. And not in a good way. She has 24 hours to get them a kidney or they'll be harvesting her organs. Permanently. Hmm, this is a nice little twist...
Christian decides to phone up James and request another sample from her hooker stable. He misses Michelle terribly, but won't admit it. He enjoyed Michelle's, err, talents, and now wants to forget all about her. Or as he so delicately puts it "give his dick amnesia."



Comments (13)
Excellent recap. I especially enjoyed the Patrick Bateman shout-out. I think of him every time I hand out a business card.
This season has been really random, but at least my Dinklage crush is being fed. If they can arrange for the Alanis Morrisette to die a horrible death, it will all be worthwhile.
While I know it was unintentional, I found the phrase "clothes tongue kisses" to be very amusing, I'm not sure why.
1 of 13 | Posted by brilliantmistake
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Posted on November 2, 2006 2:32 PM
great recap! I missed the show because of Halloween but I will have to catch the re-run.
WTF about the medical waste? That was freaking SICK! You know how many years of lipo fat would have to make that much? GROSS. Unless that's just all the fat they sucked out of Liz. haha
2 of 13 | Posted by anniedawg25
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Posted on November 2, 2006 2:35 PM
Great recap Umnata. I agree with you about Marlow loving Julia. Come on, after a short (pun intended) period of time? I have a question: Do you think Larry Hagman's eyebrows will get their own spin-off show? Oh yeah, Michelle to the paramedic "I don't know where his kidney went" Puhlease.
3 of 13 | Posted by may1
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Posted on November 2, 2006 2:38 PM
OMG Unmata I LOVED the title. Let's hope Marlow doesn't get knocked in the noggin by a trebuchet.
4 of 13 | Posted by Jennifer30309
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Posted on November 2, 2006 3:01 PM
I didnt think midgets cold have sex. I thought they jsut spontaneously appeared underneath a magic mushroom.
5 of 13 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on November 2, 2006 4:31 PM
Marlow is obviously crazy, just like every other person who comes into these characters' lives. He fell for Julia as quickly and inexplicably as Brooke Shields did for Christian - maybe Marlow and Brooke will get together by the end of the season. Marlow's height did give him one great advantage, with Julia sitting and him standing his face was exactly at boobie height!
Liz and Alanis being so in love after just two weeks is a bit easier to explain - don't you know what lesbians bring to a second date? A U-Haul!
6 of 13 | Posted by Bauer's Sweetheart
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Posted on November 2, 2006 5:04 PM
I think its highly ironic that both Sean and Julia fall for the babysitters of the crustacean we have all come to love.
7 of 13 | Posted by brigasm
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Posted on November 2, 2006 5:56 PM
There has been no consistency these past 2 seasons. None. And I HATE JULIA. What a whore. Worst parents ever.
I'm so mad at this show that I have nothing else to say!
8 of 13 | Posted by IJustWatch
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Posted on November 2, 2006 6:25 PM
Brigasm, it's not irony that made Julia and Sean sleep with the babysitters, it's the writer's laziness and lack of imagination. Sean's sleeping with the psycho babysitter made no sense. And while I can see how Julia would be attracted to Marlow (first man she's come across in a looooong time who had some sense), I don't get his attraction to her. Julia's a mess, and in real life, Marlow would take the paycheck and run away as fast as he could. But since this is Nip/Tuck where the writers have long since run out of ideas, we get the unlikely coupling of Marlow and Julia. Whatever.
I didn't understand the subplot with Lez and her new girlfriend either. If the Poppy was so repulsed by Lez's body, why was she dating her? And why would she spring the revelations on Lez's doctors who she knew were also Lez's friends in the operating room. I didn't get it, but figured Roma Maffia has it in her contract that she has to appear in so many episodes per season, no matter how ridiculous her character acts.
And speaking of ridiculous, Michelle's stealing J.R.'s kidney was the icing on the cake for this episode. Why not just go to another bar and slip someone a roofie and steal that poor sucker's kidney? I swear if they turn J.R.'s death into some sort of twist on the Anna Nicole and her deal Texas billionaire husband saga, I will stop watching this show for sure.
9 of 13 | Posted by Aries
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Posted on November 2, 2006 9:16 PM
"I think its highly ironic that both Sean and Julia fall for the babysitters of the crustacean we have all come to love."
Well, it's really only ironic in the Morrisettean sense. But she'a a guest star, so what the hell. What it actually is is repetitive. Is there anyone who has set foot in Julia and Sean's house that hasn't wound up having sex with a family member?
10 of 13 | Posted by brilliantmistake
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Posted on November 2, 2006 10:22 PM
This whole episode drove me crazy. How dumb is Christian to actually consider another hooker from James after she drugged him? James seems smart enough that she wouldn't just drug somebody for no reason, so it's a little annoying that he didn't stop think why she drugged him. It's not like she was in any danger.
Why the fuck would you go to the woman that you're in love with's HUSBAND to perform surgery? I find it a little hard to believe that he couldn't find another plastic surgeon in Miami.I gotta agree with Bauer's Sweetheart, Marlow's gonna turn out to be another crazy.
11 of 13 | Posted by JerseyGirl
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Posted on November 3, 2006 7:11 AM
well, even though this ep did drive me a little crazy (100 gallons of Medical waste? Christian getting Roofi'ed? Midget Sex?) total trash is my guilty pleasure after all.
Marlow is definatley going to go coo-koo for Julia. It would have been funny though, to see 2 psycho babysitters go after the McNamara's. Why did they have to kill off the other girl?
What the hell does Marlow see in Julia anyway? Her family is so eff'ed up...wouldn't he conclude that she must have something to do with it?
Must be her 24/7/365 "I've got Hayfever, or have been crying my eyes out" watery eyes or something.
12 of 13 | Posted by anniedawg25
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Posted on November 4, 2006 4:22 PM
Umnata,
I LOVE YOU! These are freaking hysterical!!!
13 of 13 | Posted by BSL
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Posted on November 6, 2006 3:02 PM