"All that being said, he looks like the bastard love child of Hello Kitty and Michael Jackson and it freaks me the fuck out."

LMAO, great recap. I agree that Nip/Tuck has gone downhill. I hope that they somehow redeem themselves in this season. Keep up the good work :)

I'm kind of disappointed that this is being recapped by someone who doesn't like the show and hates most of the characters. Isn't that what TwoP is for?

This show reached Train Wreck status last season...I couldn't agree with you more about the Carver nonsense. However, since I can't turn away just yet, I am glad you are doing the recaps so I don't have to actually watch.

i had multiple TVgasms when i saw that nip/tuck had been added to the site. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU TVgasm.

The frog-lady is Bree Walker -- http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/004916.html -- she actually used to have a normal looking face. Somewhat ironic that they use a total plastic surgery victim as a source of inspiration.

Thanks for the great recap Umnata. I hope you don't hate me for suggesting it if the season sucks, and not just in a gay way.

Bree Walker's condition is ectrodactyly, and she really has it, that's not tv magic. She used to be a newswoman in LA. It is a little odd to see such a plastic surgery disaster preaching about accepting people who look different.

And Christian boning the Brooke Shields character totally pissed me off too.

Depsite all of season three's shortcomings (the carver/Quentin and his beyond weird police officer sister) I will always love Nip/Tuck

Umnata, glad you're recapping this. I agree with you about the whole Carver thing. It started out as thrilling but then they just took it too far. Let's hope this season is more like the first 2 1/2 seasons.

This show is part soap opera, part CSI and part porn. What a blast!

The first thing I noticed about the mother was how bad her face looked. In a effort to try to look young she looks hideous. Nice family values there. It was funny to hear her lecture Christian about love and intimacy.

I agree with you and others that the final scene with Brooke Shields came from nowhere. I guess we are beholding the power of Christian.

Can't wait for next week!

That was a great recap Umnata. Love the drinking game suggestion - man did they ever whack us over the head with that "is he or isn't he gay" thing.

I was a hugeeeeeeeee Nip/Tuck fan prior to last season but that last episode was the biggest Shark Jump I've witnesses since, well... since Fonz jumped the actual shark.

I am watching this season in the same tentative way as you guys but I am not sure I can get over last year. I am partly irritated that they didn't mention it and partly hoping that they won't.

Brook Shield's character taking it in the end - veryyyyyyyyyy disappointing.

I'm so glad TVgasm is recapping this show and really enjoyed Umnata's recap of the premiere. However, I have to disagree with him when he said that Dylan Walsh is the worst lead actor on TV. I think that honor goes to Kevin Connelly on Entourage. Dylan plays Sean perfectly, an anal-retentive prick who struggles to make sense out of his screwed up life. The character is extremely irritating sometimes but Dylan Walsh deserves a lot of credit for the humanity that comes through, like when Sean found out the truth of Matt's paternity or this episode when he discovered the fetus has birth defects. Kevin Connelly, on the other hand, is a bland actor who plays a bland character. Not even the threesome story line gave Eric any sparks.

Actually that reminds me of something that bothered me about the show. If you walked in on your wife crying, knowing she was to have an appointment that day with her OB/GYN and she tells you there is something wrong with the baby. What would make you think to ask "How long have you known?" Wouldn't you presume she had only just found out? I realize it was necessary to set up the whole storyline of his inability to trust her - but I found it to be more than a little contrived.

Tinkerbell, being that Sean is a doctor after all, it's not very contrived for him to ask how long she's known. Obviously her OBGYN gave her a warning early on and if Sean knows anything about the defect - which he should being a doctor -he would know that it can be detected earlier in the pregnancy.

Oh J.R.'s whole "I eat petting zoos and shit out circuses" comment was an analogy for his profession. He is a medical venture capitalist - meaning he buys out small medical companies/offices and turns them into something bigger and more profitable. Get it now? I'm really upset that they've sold the business, but I think it'll be a good story line if they don't mess it up.

I laughed my ass off when I saw the "big cock" in Christian's apartment. VERY A Clockwork Orange...

The scene with Brooke Shields pissed me off big time too. On the other hand, why make her character into another "Dr. Melfi"??

Oh, and the bastard child of Hello Kitty and Michael Jackson? LMFAO! You hit the nail right on the head!

I thought this was a great premiere and I'm looking forward to this season. I haven't watched since the first season so my mind isn't polluted by the "Carver" bullshit everyone's bitching about. And I'm definitely going to try out the drinking game, thanks for the re-cap Umnata!!!

yeah, you definately hit the nail on the head w/ your Matt depiction. And yes, Christian screwing Brooke was crazy, what the hell?! I, too, am still disturbed from last season, on so many levels. The edginess of this show is one of the big reasons I became a fan of it, but damn! there really can be such a thing as taking it too far. I guess this is one of those shows you can watch and be truly grateful for your life, no matter how crappy it is, cause it's probly not as royally screwed up as these characters'.

The last scene with Dr. Shields was just wrong but your recap was fantastic! Thanks Umnata for another grat recap.

My husband wanted to watch because of the threesome but then he got too weirded out by the show because it's so over the top. He doesn't want to watch it anymore because it gives him the creeps. I can understand that but why can't I give it up? It's addicting in a bizarre way.

Very disappointed in the Brooke Shields screw from behind. I thought it was a dream at first because it was so out of character for her but I went back on my TiVo and nope, it was real. Come on!! Christian isn't some GOD. Must every woman succumb to his charms? The writers dropped the ball with that one.

I started watching Nip/Tuck because of Julian McMahon but stopped because of the carver thing. I wasn't going to read the recap but had nothing better to do so...
I enjoyed the recap, Umnata. Probably won't go back to watching the show (even for Julian's ass) but will continue to read. I agree with pretty much everything you said about the characters and the show. Matt's description was perfect. Kid's face creeped me out from day one.
And sex with the therapist? Geez guys, find another story line. Preferably an original one.

HALLELJUAH! Finally I see Nip/Tuck on here.

I was disappointed as well when Christian was banging his shrink. Dr. Melfi would have never...

http://www.wordinfo.info/words/index/info/view_unit/614/5/?spage=1&letter=D

there you go. Ectrodactylia. So hard to find... luckily I have a lot of free time at work.

i know im the one who made the mistake but i think it is HIGHSTERICAL that i spelt ectrodactylia: Electrodacolytes. sometimes my own incompetence amuses me to know end

Great one as always, Unmata.
I just want to say that I sort of thought that Christian would eventually bang Brooke's character, but I was really hoping that she would dangle her power over him through the season and give in at some point, but still have some sort of control of the situation. Then we see her (as Tinkerbell so eloquently put it) "taking it in the end." Oh well. I look forward to reading your takes on the rest of the season, and am crossing my fingers that The Shield is on your to-do list starting in January.

I miss Kimber, espcially saying her name. Kimber. Woah Christian gay? Who wouldve thought. I hear in a future episode he has a little run in with Mario Lopez in a shower or something. o.O I miss Kimber.