Sebastian's Revenge - 
by Umnata
Wow. So last week the comments on my recap for Nip/Tuck were pretty much even divided between those of you who loathe my take on the show, and those who like it. Most distressing of all were those of you whose comments neither stroke nor bruise my ego, suggesting that perhaps. I do, in fact, like this show. If I didn't I wouldn't be spending hours a wekk recapping it. But like that younger cousin everyone has who has started to go down the wrong path, I just want more for this show than to be the butt of my constant jokes. If I wanted to write a recap about a show I didn't like you'd be reading a really scathing 7th Heaven recap every week.
All that being said, I actually enjoyed this episode immensely. I can sum up this episode by paraphrasing my best friend Carla, a devout Nip/Tuck watcher, who was also left discouraged by last season. "I kinda liked this episode of Nip/Tuck. Is that wrong?" Find out why Carla is right after the jump!
Tonight we start with some hardcore penis measuring. No, not literally, you dirty birds, but I think the fact that Sean's brand new car is a Toyota Hybrid and Christian's is an orange Lamborghini says something about the stick these fellas are driving. One can assume that Sean is the man comfortable with the size of his cock. I mean, does a 40 year old man driving a brand new Orange sport scar scream anything other than overcompensation? After discussing the merits of small vs. large cock, Sean hands Christian a pager informing him that baby Sebastian is going to be born any day now, and its family tradition for Christian to be there for all the McNamara children's births. In some cases, Christian is even their for the conceptions
As the guys enter the break room they hear Liz and Nurse Linda cackling up a storm as they are watching something on Youtube. What could it possibly be? Are we lucky enough to have a new Digital Short from Chris Parnell, oh wait, I mean Andy Sanburg? No such luck, it's just a Christian sex video that has leaked on the internet and gone viral. Damn you, Youtube! Is it over the top and somewhat predictable that Christian's sex video involves him with a surgical cap and stethoscope as he's banging a naughty nurse? Yes. Does that make it any less amusing? No. Christian is aghast over his appearance on the video however, although he's getting some pretty strong reviews, he thinks he's a Fatty McFatfat.
Back at the homestead, Julia is anxiously awaiting the birth of baby Sebastian. She is, however, none too pleased by the fact that she is seeing some unsightly stretch marks for the first time. Each of her other demon children didn't leave her with any markings. However, since they are both abominations, maybe this bodes well for poor little crustaceous Sebastian. Sean starts rubbing down Julia with moisturizer, and it's supposed to be sensual, but it's just kinda creepy to me. I don't know why, pregnant bellies freak me out.
The happy couple begin to discuss the interview process for the Night Nurse they are going to be hiring to help them out with Sebastian. Julia questions their decision to hire some help with the baby, but Sean realizes that they don't hand out medals to parents who stay up the night with their kids. In all fairness, Sean, if they did hand out medals for anything having to do with parenting, you'd probably be towards the end of that list, just below Britney & Kevin, but above that lady who drowned her children in the bath tub.
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