So, yeah I suck. It's been a hectic couple of weeks, and getting to my recaps has been harder than staying away from our teenage TVgasm Pages. But here I am now back and better than ever! Did we miss a detailed gory recount of Melissa Gilbert having sex with her dog? Yes, and I may never forgive myself for losing out on all the Michael Landon Bestiality jokes. But I suppose we'll all have to move on... some how... some day. On the bright side, while we lost out on shitting on the memory of one of television's most honored and adored stars, we got to see Rosie O'Donnell's ass - something, I for one, thought I would only get to see in my wildest, dirtiest dreams. So let's put the past behind us, and move forward. Rosie's ass would want it that way.
Christian and shady Michelle are officially a couple behind poor, old Landau's back. So in Christian's umpteenth forbidden love, they are laying about post-coital, as Christian asks Michelle to be with him. Aww, how sweet.
Meanwhile, Christian is meeting with the duplicitous Jackie B., Michelle's former pimp. Yes, that's right, Michelle used to be a whore, but not a regular whore, a high end whore, kind of like Paris Hilton. It seems that Michelle was one of Jackie B.'s best gals once upon a skanky time. Jackie B. paid for Michelle's med school, but Michelle couldn't continue leading the life of Vivien Ward and ditched Jackie B., incurring her wrath, thus the stalking/continuing pay-offs. Christian wants to wipe Michelle's slate clean, but scoffs at Jackie B.'s suggestion of $500,000 price tag. Normally, he'd be willing to pay, I'm sure, but Michelle doesn't give head, so what's the point? Christian won't pay.
After his meeting with the sexiest pimp this side of Wilmer Valderama (him being a pimp is the only explanation I can come up with...), Christian meets Sean at a jewelry store to pick out some engagement rings. Sean & Christian picking out engagement rings?!?!? DRINK! (you didn't think it was over did you?). Sean, naturally, goes for the cheapest ring in the joint, because he's a new species called the Deuchebagges Errectus. Christian, scoffs, and pulls Sean aside to remind him, quite simply, that he banged the Night Nurse. It doesn't take Sean too long to realize that the $150,000 engagement ring is the way to go. Mmm... overcompensation...
On the way home from the store, they pass Matt on the street picking up garbage with the rest of his Scientology crazies. Christian is horrified by this. His son... helping... society... NO NO NO NO! Not on his watch!
Speaking of Hello Kitty Jackson, he heads into Kimber's condo to get all hot and heavy... literally, cause, you know they are hanging out in a steam room. Yay, Kimber in a towel! Boo, Hello Kitty Jackson in a towel.
Kimber likes the steam, because it's great for cleansing the soul or some such mumbo jumbo from the world of Tom Travolta or John Cruise. HK Jack is starting to show his true colors as a horny eighteen year old kid who wants to bang his dad's porn star ex-fiancée, as he starts grilling her about the kind of man she wants in her life. Please say freakish looking Japanese animation-pedophilic music superstar hybrids!
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Comments (8)
I actually liked this episode. Rosie's [Dawn Fudge] character was pretty interesting and we got to see Kimber! But isn't the girl who played Dawn Fudge's daughter on some sitcom? I swore I saw her on like the CW network or something. Michelle & Jackie B. stealing organs?? Wow..
1 of 8 | Posted by LagunaBeached
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Posted on October 9, 2006 5:33 AM
i just thought i would let you know that its 'dawn budge'. otherwise it was a great episode!!!
2 of 8 | Posted by laceykately
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Posted on October 9, 2006 7:54 AM
TOTALLY did not see the black market organ thing coming! of course, i missed the episode where Lez got it, so i was completely thrown...
Yes, I've all but forgotten the Carver. I hope to some day fully forget, cause damn that shit was disturbing. I'm getting a kick out of the Scientology aspects of the show right now. The writers are doing a good job of making it look crazy and cult-like, yet still somehow not as psychotic as the 'normal' people on the show... that takes talent! = )
3 of 8 | Posted by tigereye
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Posted on October 9, 2006 8:16 AM
YES! That last scene was awesome! Nip/Tuck is totally redeeming itself! Rose O'Donnell was hilarious too.
I'm also impressed with how they are showing Scientology. I'm not going to sign up by any means but maybe they just don't want to piss off the Scientology mafia. They might want a Tom Cruise cameo.
4 of 8 | Posted by BSL
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Posted on October 9, 2006 8:17 AM
Great recap Umnata. I was grossed out by Matt, amused by Dawn, sickened by Sean, and surprised by Michelle. Just what I want out of Nip/Tuck.
5 of 8 | Posted by may1
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Posted on October 9, 2006 10:46 AM
The Jackie B. storyline is just as surprising and twisted as I'd hoped. I honestly thought the Michelle/Jackie B. relationship was going to turn out to be the standard madam/whore relationship with Michelle being the hooker with the heart of gold who wants out and Jackie being the pimp who pulls her back in. This organ stealing story line is much more promising. I love how Jackie B. took Christian for $500K and still made Michelle steal organs anyway. Right now, she's my favorite of all the dislikable characters on this show.
6 of 8 | Posted by Aries
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Posted on October 9, 2006 6:13 PM
Great episode, great recap! I too was Rosie O fan. (Her show was pure entertainment and tears)
This season seems so much better than last. I was totally surprized by the organ stealing thing!
Jackie B.'s evilness is awesome!
A Porche would solve a few of my problems! Too bad my parent's aren't that messed up!
7 of 8 | Posted by TaxGirl
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Posted on October 9, 2006 8:53 PM
I found this episode to be deeply disturbing but nonetheless entertaining. I too was thrown by the organ stealing thing, I Definitely wasn't expecting that. Great recap :)
8 of 8 | Posted by MichyPR
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Posted on October 11, 2006 9:32 PM