And here she is! The moment we've all been waiting for... The woman who single handedly threw Star Jones into a vortex... Rosie O'Donnell! I'm not going to lie, Rosie used to be a huge guilty pleasure of mine... until she got all crazy on her talk show. And NO, by crazy I don't mean gay, I mean crazy. Remember that haircut? And that movie where she played that retarded lady on the bus? But now she's back, the Rosie we all know and love from the late 90's. Come on, Exit to Eden? Genius! She's playing a white trash lotto winner, who wants to change her appearance. She's actually not half bad (not half good either), but she lays on her trashy accent way too thick. I mean, she's supposed to be from Florida, not the outer boroughs of New York City. The differences between New York Trash and Florida trash may be subtle but they do exist. Not only does Dawn Fudge (great name) want a full Lypo working over, she also wants a tit job for her daughter and a bigger penis for her husband. Christmas comes early at the Fudge house!
The parental brain trust of Christian & Sean decide that the way back into HK Jackson's life after seeing the horrible sight of him picking up litter out of the kindness of his heart, is to buy him a new car. No, not car. Porsche. Yes, that's correct; they are trying to bribe him out of being a Scientologist. Best. Parents. Ever.
In other bribing news, Jackie B. makes it clear to Christian that $500,000 for Michelle is a non-negotiable fee, so on Friday she'll be looking for her first $100 K installment. Christian stands firm on his, no, but Jackie B. thinks that he'll change his mind rather quickly once he sees the incriminating photos she has obtained of him and Michelle. Ruh Roh! Christian changes his tune, and now states that he doesn't have that kind of money liquid. Jackie B. assures him that despite being a complete sociopath, she isn't unreasonable. First payment is reduced to $75,000 if Christian throws in a free hand job. Jackie B. then whips out her impressively girthy penis and give Christian what he's wanted for oh so long. Okay, that doesn't happen. By hand job, she meant literally, like a hand surgery to make her not look like she has old lady hag hands.
At the McNamara house, Sean mentions to Julia the idea of buying Matt a car (not a Porsche), Julia shoos him away, as she is much more interested in the $500 worth of phone calls to 1-900-U-CUM Sean has racked up over the past few months (remember Ms. Plum who can make you cum... in the library with the candlestick?). Sean throws himself on the mercy of the court, and Julia in yet another completely erratic swing in personality, says its okay, because she hasn't been readily available to him over the last few months. As a matter of fact, she offers to buy him some porn to make up for it. This show is so steeped in reality I don't know what to do with myself! Julia wins back a few points by letting Sean know that if she were to ever find out he cheated on her again, she'd leave him, without hesitation. As most men would do, Sean takes the accusation of an affair, the thinly veiled threats and the offering up of porn as a signal to propose marriage to Julia, who gladly accepts.
As Dawn Fudge is getting ready to be de-Tapioca'd she exclaims to Christian how excited she is the buy out the Max. Will the Saved by the Bell references never cease on this show? Just as I'm expecting to see Screech star in the porn that Julia has purchased for Sean, Dawn explains that she doesn't mean Max as in the eatery but rather Maxx as in TJ. Christian, never one to miss an opportunity to be a scumbag, realizes that not only does he need the money to buy Matt's affection via automotive bribery but also to pay off Michelle's pimp, and Dawn has an almost limitless amount of money. Christian tells Dawn that he can suck out all the fat in her body, but there is no surgery to remove the white trash gene, which means that According to Jim will NEVER be cancelled. To Queer Eye Dawn's appearance above and beyond Liposuction he's going to need $75,000. DRINK!
« Clipgasm: What Really Happened In Sequester Edition | Main | Fox River Seven, I Mean, Six »
Comments (8)
I actually liked this episode. Rosie's [Dawn Fudge] character was pretty interesting and we got to see Kimber! But isn't the girl who played Dawn Fudge's daughter on some sitcom? I swore I saw her on like the CW network or something. Michelle & Jackie B. stealing organs?? Wow..
1 of 8 | Posted by LagunaBeached
|
Posted on October 9, 2006 5:33 AM
i just thought i would let you know that its 'dawn budge'. otherwise it was a great episode!!!
2 of 8 | Posted by laceykately
|
Posted on October 9, 2006 7:54 AM
TOTALLY did not see the black market organ thing coming! of course, i missed the episode where Lez got it, so i was completely thrown...
Yes, I've all but forgotten the Carver. I hope to some day fully forget, cause damn that shit was disturbing. I'm getting a kick out of the Scientology aspects of the show right now. The writers are doing a good job of making it look crazy and cult-like, yet still somehow not as psychotic as the 'normal' people on the show... that takes talent! = )
3 of 8 | Posted by tigereye
|
Posted on October 9, 2006 8:16 AM
YES! That last scene was awesome! Nip/Tuck is totally redeeming itself! Rose O'Donnell was hilarious too.
I'm also impressed with how they are showing Scientology. I'm not going to sign up by any means but maybe they just don't want to piss off the Scientology mafia. They might want a Tom Cruise cameo.
4 of 8 | Posted by BSL
|
Posted on October 9, 2006 8:17 AM
Great recap Umnata. I was grossed out by Matt, amused by Dawn, sickened by Sean, and surprised by Michelle. Just what I want out of Nip/Tuck.
5 of 8 | Posted by may1
|
Posted on October 9, 2006 10:46 AM
The Jackie B. storyline is just as surprising and twisted as I'd hoped. I honestly thought the Michelle/Jackie B. relationship was going to turn out to be the standard madam/whore relationship with Michelle being the hooker with the heart of gold who wants out and Jackie being the pimp who pulls her back in. This organ stealing story line is much more promising. I love how Jackie B. took Christian for $500K and still made Michelle steal organs anyway. Right now, she's my favorite of all the dislikable characters on this show.
6 of 8 | Posted by Aries
|
Posted on October 9, 2006 6:13 PM
Great episode, great recap! I too was Rosie O fan. (Her show was pure entertainment and tears)
This season seems so much better than last. I was totally surprized by the organ stealing thing!
Jackie B.'s evilness is awesome!
A Porche would solve a few of my problems! Too bad my parent's aren't that messed up!
7 of 8 | Posted by TaxGirl
|
Posted on October 9, 2006 8:53 PM
I found this episode to be deeply disturbing but nonetheless entertaining. I too was thrown by the organ stealing thing, I Definitely wasn't expecting that. Great recap :)
8 of 8 | Posted by MichyPR
|
Posted on October 11, 2006 9:32 PM