Kelli is giggling and gushing because Sebastian brought her cupcakes. She pees in her pants she is so happy at this gesture. When a boy brings you food it's the first step on the road to a very intimate moment for our girl Kelli. She might even let herself digest this food instead of yakking it up in the nearest restroom.
With her sugar high hitting it's peak, Kelli asks Sebastian if he has plans for later on in the day. Sebastian who sports a "Blagojevich" hairdo says he is having dinner with Taylor at a French restaurant.
This completely ruins Kelli's sugar buzz. She says she doesn't understand how someone can bring her cupcakes and act like he's with her and then take Taylor out to dinner. I think Kelli is mistaking a cupcake for an engagement ring. They are both round so I can see how she got confused. Poor girl, a cupcake does not an engagement make. He does want to get in your pants though. He wants to get in everyone's pants.
Is Kelli the only person who thinks Sebastian is not stringing her a long? Yup.
We leave the park and meet up with PC who is going to see his therapist and has invited us all along for the trip. Peter Carey (PC's real name) is all dressed up for his session with his therapist Audrey. Audrey's "office" seems very ornate. Not many therapists have a baby grand piano in the room. Not to mention the chaise lounge.
PC tells Audrey it's hard to let people get close and connect with him. He also tells her that he could care less about the things he is learning in school, but he gets his work done. The more he talks, the more I wish his therapist would give him electroshock therapy or full lobotomy.
Therapist Audrey tells PC that he is a young man with very deep feelings. PC has deep feelings but that's a relative scale. Deep for PC is like skipping a rock across a pond for the rest of the world.
PC says he likes to be in control and that he is surrounded all day with a bunch of girls who cry because they lost their eyeliner. Lost? More than likely PC is "borrowing" their eyeliner for a night on the town. They make his eyes look dark and brooding, which is the look he wants to achieve for evening, something like a cross between vampire and the front man for Green Day.
PC and his therapist come to the conclusion that he is a fast study and somewhat intolerant of others. I bet that cost several hundred if not thousands of dollars to find out he's an impatient jerk. All the people that know him could have told him that tidbit of info for free. But like PC says, every kid in NYC goes to a therapist. It's all part of the mystique of the Prep School Life.
We've waited and waited for this moment, Sebastian and Taylor are out on their date at a French restaurant. Sebastian speaks fluent French and as a surprise, Taylor learned a little French from a friend. Sebastian is not happy, speaking French is his thing, not some public school tart who actually studies to learn it!
He is disgusted that anyone would try to steal his thunder. Sebastard wonders if Taylor will be sporting a Blagojevich hairstyle next time they see one another. He will have to dump her if that happens. After all, one guy with that hair is sexy, two people with that hair is so last year.
« America's Got Talent: There's No Business Like Show Business | Main | Big Brother Countdown Picture Contest: Four Days! »
Comments (17)
You nailed it this time! YES YOU DID!! I'm only on page 1 but the snark is top-rate.
1 of 17 | Posted by tadow | Posted on July 5, 2009 2:32 PM
Thanks Tadow,
Glad you enjoyed my recap. Thanks for reading my post, I'll keep working on improving.
TVannie
2 of 17 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on July 6, 2009 5:37 AM
I was watching the Disney channel with my niece and all the boys have the same stupid hairstyle with the constant flipping. When did this start and why? So if someone were to shave Sebastian's head, would the girls wake up a realize he's not attractive?
3 of 17 | Posted by newcastlefan | Posted on July 6, 2009 8:46 AM
Nice job TVAnnie! Your captions were funny and I'm glad you've cast aside your reluctance to say cutting things about these little assholes, it really shows this week.
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. Every time I see Sebastard and his hair I think Shaun Cassidy, didn't he look almost the same?
4 of 17 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 6, 2009 12:55 PM
Excellent recap, Annie!!!!
Can you believe we watch this crap??? Damn Bravo!!
5 of 17 | Posted by Trister | Posted on July 6, 2009 2:25 PM
TVannie, awesome recap! I love the vampire/zombie/eat your soul motif. So appropriate!
Thanks for the giggles! I wonder if Sebastard's hair has it's own contract? LOVE that nickname!!
SWAK, PottyMouth
6 of 17 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on July 6, 2009 4:38 PM
Dear Newcastlefan, J-Mo, Trister and PottyMouth,
Thanks for all of the feedback. I've still got a long way to go, but at least it's a good start.
Newcastlefan: Wow I didn't realize this hair cut or lack of hair cut was a trend among the young and popular. I agree that if you shave Sebastard, he would not be very attractive. We can wait about 20 years when he won't have all that hair after his hairline recedes half way over his head.
J-Mo: Thanks for the encouragement. Shaun Cassidy's hair was similar to Sebastian's mop. But somehow it didn't look so bad on him. I think it looks like Bobby Sherman's hair too.
Trister: Thanks for the love and no, I can't believe we watch this crap.
Pottymouth: Thanks for the "Kadooz" as Ramona would say. I think Sebastian's hair will negotiate a separate contract and it will get endorsement deals with several hair products. But when he gets older he will get endorsement deals from "The Hair Club For Men".
All:
Thanks again for reading my post and I hope to keep getting better as the season goes on. One thing is for sure, these kids are not going to get reigned in by their parents any time soon, so I'll have no shortage of subject matter.
Love and luck,
TVannie
7 of 17 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on July 6, 2009 9:55 PM
Doesn't this show remind you of that other stupid Bravo show that had the teenagers selling real estate in California? These kids are just as shallow and hair obsessed- I hate watching this show - I'll read the recaps but Jessie's crossed eyes bother me so much I can't watch anymore- I do love how she claims to be so "fashion obsessed" yet looks fug all of the time - I really can't wait for her to grow the fat ass that you know is coming and cry every day because she can't fit into fashion anymore!
8 of 17 | Posted by singleinmymind | Posted on July 7, 2009 8:45 AM
Great job, TVannie! I always liked your recaps. Sometimes the snark isn't so strong but you have great observational skills and your writting is superb. I read all of Teen Hearthrob recaps. I can't remember the name of the show...you the one with Jeremy Jackson, and I loved your recaps.
Anyhoo, PC is such an over-actor. Listen, PC, get over it...you're not Chase Crawford, honey.
Speaking of fat asses...Mr. Carey's ass also looks like its waiting to blow up.
Nice closet references, Annie. PC seems to be having trouble on the romance front but not because of dating the wrong girl. The problem's that his been dating girls period.
9 of 17 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on July 7, 2009 7:12 PM
Amazing recap!! I usually don't laugh out loud while reading recaps, but you had me giggling like a little girl the whole time.
Keep up the good work!
10 of 17 | Posted by imalush | Posted on July 7, 2009 8:00 PM
singleinmymind, ugly cutie and imalush,
Thank you all for the pat on the back.
Singleinmymind: Yes, this show is kind of like that show about the teen real estate agents. I thought the one guys hair made his head look like a penis. And who would buy a house from kids who are barely old enough to shave? Plus they were annoying
Uglycutie: Yes "Confessions of a Teen Idol" was my show. Eric Nies and his "pee" hair. That still grosses me out. And thanks for being so sweet, you're a doll.
Imalush: Thank you for your kind words. It makes me feel good that I put a little laughter in your day.
Working on this week's post right now, hope to post it in the next day or so.
Love and luck,
TVannie
11 of 17 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on July 8, 2009 1:40 PM
Yep you are hitting your stride!! I am glad you could get over not wanting to criticize because they are children. I actually admire that, but I think this is an entirely different situation than a show with actual kids on it. Like that beauty pageant show.
I am not sure how much these children care or realize just how damaging this show is going to be for them. I have a hard time watching this show because if the children are our future then we are in for a future of self involved, over indulged, delusional people with a sense of entitlement, who worship at the feet of consumerism. Oh wait we are already there- the programmers at Bravo are some sort of visionaries, they just have these shows on to remind us of that.
Sebastian and the hair flip!! I was searching for a snarky joke to make about it. But mostly all it inspires me to do is to punch a baby in the face. It is like his hand has a mind of its own and it must flip his hair every five seconds without fail or the world will come to an end or a plane will crash into an island somewhere. What I don't understand is why one of his friends doesn't reach out, grab his hand and say STOP. Hit him with a rolled up newspaper and say, NO!
Sebastardyflip also seems to have taken lessons from the school of Spencer Pratt. Please lets hope he isn't the second coming of the Pratt.
And who else that thinks PC is hiding in the closet? Or is it his attempt at trying to act worldly?
12 of 17 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on July 8, 2009 2:10 PM
Is it me or does Jesse just have that typical WASPY look? So does one of the other girls but I can't remember her name. The one that has a plan to go to Harvard, become the head of a genetics firm and have two kids. But they both have the thin, upper lip, the receding chin, and old lady thin hair.
13 of 17 | Posted by areyoucliff | Posted on July 8, 2009 2:14 PM
I think that both PC and Jessie are gay and just do not realize it yet. Jessie just looks like a lesbian to me. No offense to the lesbians out there. She just looks like one. Enjoyed the recap. Punks!
14 of 17 | Posted by blacklashes | Posted on July 8, 2009 5:13 PM
"PC says no, but we know if he really wants to push her buttons, he'll go out with Kelli, Camille,Taylor, Taylor's Mom, a democrat, a poor person and anyone else Jessie hates just so he can twist that knife of disappointment even deeper into the space that was Jessie's heart."
Hahahah, so awesome. I liked your first recap but this one is so hilarious, and I'm only on the first page.
And the mention of her lazy eye is so great, I was hoping I wasn't the only one who noticed it (though I don't know how that would be possible).
15 of 17 | Posted by kelsey | Posted on July 15, 2009 4:47 PM
Kelsey,
Thanks for the comment, you're a dear. I hope you'll keep reading my recaps and that they continue to make you laugh once in a while.
TVannie
16 of 17 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on July 15, 2009 5:36 PM
Your recap was dead on, but I have one teensy comment about the captions. Don't explain them too much. I want to take out a sentence on some of them and leave the rest. Otherwise, kadooz to you!
17 of 17 | Posted by TVCyn | Posted on July 22, 2009 9:31 AM