After an initial episode that was a little slow and focused more on introductions, One Ocean View finally gets its groove going in Episode 2. Consider the first episode to be the one with lots of Jar Jar, and then when Episode 2 hits its all bounty hunters and Lightsaber duels. The Lauren and Zack relationship, if that's what you can call it at this point, boils over and becomes a main focus of this week's episode. Also, we get more people at the house so it gets that much harder to tell them apart. And most importantly, we get random casual sex. And believe me this girl puts the capital C in casual. Even Trishelle from Real World would give her a double take. But hey, that's how things are on Fire Island. And we're not here to judge. Oh wait, I mean we are totally here to judge. It's like the best part of reality TV!
The show opens with our voiceover narrator. But this week instead of the painfully stilted Miki, we hear from Mary, the blonde girl with a thing for KJ. And she is equally awkward at voiceovers. James Earl Jones she ain't. She gives us a little recap of the first episode which is basically Zack and Lauren fighting, Usman looking for some play, and Mary? "I'm here looking to find love" she says. "I kinda liked KJ at first, and then Lauren moved in". Then we get a quick recap of the great Lauren KJ text message controversy. Hmm, I am now recapping a shows recap. That is so meta.
From here we go right to the opening credits, which bear a striking resemblance to the opening credits of a little show called Melrose Place. Right down to the part where each person looks up at the camera and lets out a little smile. Oh how I used to wish one day the credits would have read "And guest starring EdHill as Chad McManus" as I give out my coy smile with my awesome sideburns. I would have been a mysterious real estate mogul moving into Melrose Place and offering to buy Shooters from Jake, only to fall in love with Sydney and get caught cheating on her with Jane. Then I would get kidnapped on a boat and get amnesia, or some other crap like that. I planned it all out in my diary.
Anywho, Once the credits finish we see Zack on the ferry ride over. Only this ferry ride, is a ferry ride full of melancholy as evidenced by the really cheesy flashback images that float over his head. Images of him reading the infamous text message, images of Lauren walking in slow mo. Then we cut back to with a pensive look on his face. Of course in reality he was probably just gassy but we get the message.
When Zack gets to the island he meets up with Lisa, the shy stripper. Now I know that this whole preplanned borderline scripted "encounters" are the mainstay of some reality shows, the Guna being the pioneer, but it's still a jarring experience to me. It's gonna take some getting used to. It's like the time that I found out wrestling was fake (believe me, all though my early teens I was convinced it was real. And frankly, this guy still thinks its real) . Lisa asks him about what happened the other night and Zack fills her in on the big ferry kiss controversy. Did Zack kiss her? Or was he the kissee? And does he like her or not? It's unbelievably juvenile and stupid, and I love every second of it. God how stupid people entertain me. I swear if I was a king in the middle ages, I wouldn't have a court jester I'd just bring a bunch of teenagers before me and listen to them argue about who did or didn't invite someone to the summer solstice dance and whether or not Batholomew, son of Gabriel, did in fact send a text message on royal parchment to Winnifred, daughter of William. Then I'd behead them all!
Lisa wants to know what happened with Lauren and KJ so Zack tells her all about the kiss story, and whether Lauren likes KJ and vice versa. Whatever, Zack says he like totally has another date with this girl on Tuesday so it's all good. She's from Niagara Falls, so you don't know her. Lisa says that they need to figure out a way to get along this summer, since she still thinks he is in love with her. And if it's one thing strippers know about, it's love.
« Dancing In The Streets | Main | Like OMG! Laguna Relationships Are Totally Dunzo!!! »
Comments (3)
This show is horrible but I LOL-ed so hard during this heated interation:
Lauren: "Zach, you're so UN-decisive."
Zach: "It's IN-decisive. Learn words."
Loved it.
1 of 3 | Posted by hanan5050
|
Posted on August 8, 2006 1:00 PM
"Their like that one girl at the party that comes with her friends and just decides to c-block all her friends attempts at having any fun. I hate those chicks."
We used the term "friendosaurus" to describe that girl in college.
2 of 3 | Posted by RealityMonkey
|
Posted on August 8, 2006 2:26 PM
Holy shit, EdHill, I think you've outdone yourself. The Machiavallen comment...the Melrose Place opening...some of your finest work, to be sure.
I think I may have to watch this show. I've been looking for a cheap pick-me-up to make me feel better about myself by looking down at other people.
3 of 3 | Posted by BSL
|
Posted on August 10, 2006 8:48 AM