After Dinner Lisa can barely contain herself. She must tell Lauren all the dirt. Right in the middle of their heated discussion about the text message with KJ and who is and isn't a liar, KJ walks in the room and lays down in the bed right next to them. When Lauren asks KJ what he thinks he says he thinks Lauren is manipulative. Also, Apparently KJ is also pretending that he just came in and lay down next to them while they are talking to "take a nap" and doesn't even turn his head and says he "doesn't want to talk about it". He's so Machiavellian! I mean, Machiavelli was retarded right? No? OK, so he's not that Machiavellian. "You didn't kiss me because you wanted to?" she asks him. KJ just says that he never made any advances and he doesn't want to play these games, now please let me pretend to take a nap while you talk about me!
From here we go to the ferry and meet yet another houseguest. Her name is Anelka, which is Swedish for "dirty whore". She goes right from the ferry to a bar and strikes up a conversation with the local bartender and tells her that she is here for the timeshare. Back in the house everyone is having a house meeting about the sleeping arrangements. When Zack tells Lauren "Why don't you sleep with KJ?" Lauren just snaps at him saying she's not interested. "Well that's not what I heard" says Zack. "I'm sorry you're wrong" Lauren says. Zack, not to be outdone in this battle of wits responds with "I'm sorry you're wrong". Wow. Not since the Lincoln Douglas debates have I seen such verbal firepower. Lauren then comes back by saying "I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and sticks to you."
Things just go downhill from there as they get into a really entertainingly nasty fight. They argue about the text message, they argue about whether or not KJ anda her kissed by accident or not. It gets so heated that everyone slowly leaves the room to give them some sort of semi privacy with the camera crew. Everyone that is except Miki. She just sits there next to them as they argue. The woman needs to hear every delicious word. She is a gossip vampire.
MUST...BUT....IN
Then Zack talks about heartfelt emails he wrote to her, including poems, that she shared with other housemates. I bet you a hundred bucks at least one of them started with "Roses are red, violets are blue". Back in the kitchen Miki then tells them every detail about what they missed. Good lord I've never seen a group of people so eager to talk about everyone and anyone behind their backs.
After the fight is over Anelka wanders into the house. She is followed quickly by good old Usman. As Usman is changing he gets filled in on the great "Who kissed who" controversy that is ruining everyone's lives. Once everyone gets ready they all head out to get drunk and god willing, act even stupider. At the bar Usman has a revelation. The girls on Fire Island are either overweight or too ugly to go to the Hamptons. I can't imagine why those fat ugly locals had a problem with the production. Usman then moves in on Anelka and tells her about his special outside cabana. They all end up taking the party back to the house and the hot tub. That is until Usman shows up and Lauren walks off in a huff. Anelka tells Usman that she is like totally into rockers or people who are just doing what they love. Hmm, you mean like blogging!?!
Wow. Castro really bounced back.
After the hot tub Usman asks Anelka to join him in the cabana, which she is only to eager to do. Usman comes to the cabana because he is "moody" and "likes to keep to himself". We saw some of this before at the bar when he had his shirt off and woman writing things on his chest. Usman's line of BS works as pretty soon nature takes its course. That is if nature was a DIRTY WHORE! We get the sex music playing, hear a bunch of slurping sounds and clothes being flung as Usman and Anelka do what mommies and daddies do when they love each other. Only they do it without love. Or, at the very least, a knowledge of each others last names.
« Dancing In The Streets | Main | Like OMG! Laguna Relationships Are Totally Dunzo!!! »
Comments (3)
This show is horrible but I LOL-ed so hard during this heated interation:
Lauren: "Zach, you're so UN-decisive."
Zach: "It's IN-decisive. Learn words."
Loved it.
1 of 3 | Posted by hanan5050
|
Posted on August 8, 2006 1:00 PM
"Their like that one girl at the party that comes with her friends and just decides to c-block all her friends attempts at having any fun. I hate those chicks."
We used the term "friendosaurus" to describe that girl in college.
2 of 3 | Posted by RealityMonkey
|
Posted on August 8, 2006 2:26 PM
Holy shit, EdHill, I think you've outdone yourself. The Machiavallen comment...the Melrose Place opening...some of your finest work, to be sure.
I think I may have to watch this show. I've been looking for a cheap pick-me-up to make me feel better about myself by looking down at other people.
3 of 3 | Posted by BSL
|
Posted on August 10, 2006 8:48 AM