That afternoon outside the house KJ strikes up a conversation with a woman and her kid. Mary looks on lovingly as when she sees KJ being nice to the 2 year old she realizes that this means he "likes kids.". Because if then he started whaling on the kid with his fists, that means he's not ready to be a father yet. When the laughably staged conversation moves into the subject of KJ and his lack of kids, we then find out, surprise surprise, that this woman is a "matchmaker." Goodness, what an amazingly odd coincide that she just happened to show up outside the One Ocean View house the weekend the entire group of single people were there filming the new love-filled reality show! Fire Island truly is a place of miracles. Then Usman pipe in from the deck asking her for help ebcause he says "I have no game here on Fire Island". Oh Usman, you and Fire Island have a lot in common. You just need to come to terms with your sexuality. Don't worry, we won't judge.
That night at dinner, our group continues their awkwardly orchestrated vignettes by deciding that they are going to go around the room and tell each other a secret that no one else knows. No, nothing good like "I once killed and feasted on the flesh of a homeless man," but boring stuff like "I used to like, totally be a swimmer and stuff!" OMG! That is so weird! KJ also swam when he was a kid! That's like so crazy! I mean, who would've thought that two people out of a dozen would have both swam in water in their youth? What!?! They both breathe in oxygen and convert it to carbon dioxide!? They are like so destined to be together.
Lauren continues confession hour by saying she was both a preemie and adopted. KJ then pipes in and says he plans on adopting at least 3 kids, preferably in the nation of Namibia. Usman just says that he wants to meet hot chicks and hook up. Oh Usinator! Zack says he just wants to find a job he loves. And since being on One Ocean View doesn't make him eligible to spend the next ten years on MTV's The Gauntlet, he is still searching for that dream job.
When Usman then asks Mary what her romantic plans are for the summer, she says she is "open to anything and everything that comes my way." From a Kansas City Reach Around to an Angry Pirate, she's ready for it all! KJ then starts to talk all philosophical about how he is like so ready for a relationship and hopes to find one. A coy look at Mary then follows. Will this be the man that gives her a Columbian Gas Mask? When someone asks him what he looks for in a girl, he says he likes ethnic looking brunettes with dark hair. Cut to Mary with a look of shock and sadness on her face that makes her look like someone just told her they canceled the Gilmore Girls.
That night the all decide to go to Flynn's by the water, and it's ladies night (oh what a night!). Mary tells Miki that the guys she is attracted to are blonde and short. "So you're attracted to KJ?" she says. Well, yes technically physically he is her type and so on and so forth. God I love it when drunk people try to talk about romance and relationships. It really is the best part about these shows. Then she tells her that "of all the guys, she feels the most comfortable around KJ." Oh sweet jesus, will they screw already? This is getting tiring. And to make things even more awkward, when KJ finally goes over to her and starts dancing, we see that Mary is also an extremely awkward dancer, which for a hot chick is kind of cute I suppose. For guys like KJ and well, me and everyone I know (with the possible exception of J-Unit and his robot dance), not so much.
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Comments (10)
Thanks for recapping this EdHill...I forgot to set my TIVO to catch it. The deer on Fire Island have no natural predators (no large animals, no cars and no hunting allowed) so they're completely tame. They will actually follow you looking for food. It's fun and creepy at the same time.
1 of 10 | Posted by suedisco
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Posted on August 1, 2006 1:21 PM
I need to put Mary on my list of things to do.
Me likey
2 of 10 | Posted by Madeyoulaugh
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Posted on August 1, 2006 1:52 PM
"It's fun and creepy at the same time."
Just like me!
3 of 10 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on August 1, 2006 2:10 PM
I am beyond thrilled you're recapping this! I already hate them all and can't wait to hate them even more. I almost didn't recognize Eric without his stupid jump rope.
4 of 10 | Posted by beanzie
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Posted on August 1, 2006 4:45 PM
5 of 10 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on August 2, 2006 6:09 AM
This show was very boring.
I can't stand USman, he thinks he is so good looking and he isn't. Also when he asked that relationship lady about his game on Fire Island she told him to lose the shades. I thought it was funny he didn't.
Lauren and Zach she controls him that's why he doesn't ever like the other girls. He probably texts her while on the date and tells her things and if it sounds like she likes the girl she tells him not to and he does what she says.
I am going to watch this show one more time and if it doesn't get any drama or more exciting I am not watching it again.
Also I thought it was a show about mainly 30 somethings not twenty somethings. But I figured most of the people are about 29-30 and Zach and Lauren are the youngest at 25.
6 of 10 | Posted by PattiJo
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Posted on August 2, 2006 8:42 AM
I saw the second episode (We know people who know people) and trust me, it gets better.
7 of 10 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on August 2, 2006 9:23 AM
Yes this show was filmed from Memorial Day 06 to 4th of July 06...I guess in their haste they skimped on the good reality storyline editing I would expect from something like 8th and Ocean or Laguna. Conjuring drama from various glances!
8 of 10 | Posted by BK_KT
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Posted on August 2, 2006 12:28 PM
What about Useless? Usako?
When KJ described his ideal type of woman, all Mary saw was 'challenge' on his forehead.
Zack really needs to just screw someone in front of Lauren.
9 of 10 | Posted by kelley
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Posted on August 2, 2006 2:17 PM
I'm so glad you're writing on this show. I thought it was good and has excellent potential. I hope Zach grows up and finds a new girl and stops worrying about his ex; should be interesting.
10 of 10 | Posted by couchpotato
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Posted on August 5, 2006 5:18 PM