Usman meanwhile is upset with Zack. He is just sitting at the bar looking mopey and not hitting on any of the hot chicks. When in a situation like that, always think "WWUD"? What would Usman do? He accuses Zack of always wussing out when it comes to chicks because he always ends up, as Usman puts it, "hooking up with like, your ex-girl, dude"

Thank god for that comma
"You know how hard I want to meet women?" Zack tells Usman in an unfortunately constructed sentence. In Usman's defense, Zack was sitting at the bar staring off into space, which is not a good way to meet chicks.
Zack tries to explain away his behavior to Usman by saying that Lauren always tells him that she loves him when they are alone together, and he doesn't want to hit on chicks in front of her because of that. He doesn't want to disrespect her like that. Cut right to Lauren on the dance floor giving out hand jobs like lollipops at a dentists office. OK, that was an exaggeration, but she is grinding with John on the dance floor like it's going out of style. Cut to a few minutes after where she is sitting next to Zack, and as he gazes lovingly into her eyes, she says "I wish you could read my mind." Very good move. Simply say something leading like that while flirting that leads the person to believe something but since she doesn't actually say anything specific, she creates enough wiggle room later to say that she never "led him on." It's a brilliant move on her part.
Her plan is put into effect the next morning where in the harsh light of sobriety she tells Zack that she values their friendship, but she doesn't love him and wants to see other people. So I guess when she was sitting in his lap and gently kissing him while saying "I wish you could read my mind", she meant "God I wish you could tell how much I want to bang John's brains out right now."
The next night as everyone is gathering for a dinner of shish kebobs on the grill, we find out that everyone is heading back to the city. The only people staying behind are Lisa, Nick, KJ, and Mary. Oooh, KJ and Mary! Everyone teases them at the conveneice of it all. KJ and Mary, you see, slept together last night. But not the kind of sleeping together where certain things were inserted into other things. It was more of the cuddling all night kind of sleeping together. At least as far as ABC has led us to believe.
When the 4 remaining people gather that night for a final drink, the conversation turns to Zack and Lauren. KJ then says slyly that he could have "flamed those fires." When the girls then grill him for info he says "OK, but for your eyes only." Well yeah that and a national TV audience, but go ahead. Apparently when they were all saying goodbye at the dock, KJ went to give Lauren a kiss on the cheek and she turned and gave him a kiss on the mouth. Oooh! Scandalous!
Cut to two nights later in Manhattan where a group of them coincidentally and without prodding from producers (cough..cough) meet up at Miki and Radha's pizza joint. Miki wastes no time in stirring the pot by asking Lauren point blank "So like, what happened with you and KJ on the boat?" Lauren goes into backtracking mode by saying that she went to give KJ a little "peck on the cheek," just like she would give her dad. Of course remember she was adopted so who knows what that means. Miki doesn't let it go and asks "who kissed who?", to which Lauren says it was mutual and KJ is making it into something it isn't and blah blah blah. Ugh. Do twentysomethings really have conversations like this? Thank god I and all my friends, as well as all the loyal TVgasm readers, are intelligent and witty so we aren't subjected to such nonsense. I mean I half expect someone to hand Lauren a note saying "Do you like me? Check yes or no".
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Comments (10)
Thanks for recapping this EdHill...I forgot to set my TIVO to catch it. The deer on Fire Island have no natural predators (no large animals, no cars and no hunting allowed) so they're completely tame. They will actually follow you looking for food. It's fun and creepy at the same time.
1 of 10 | Posted by suedisco
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Posted on August 1, 2006 1:21 PM
I need to put Mary on my list of things to do.
Me likey
2 of 10 | Posted by Madeyoulaugh
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Posted on August 1, 2006 1:52 PM
"It's fun and creepy at the same time."
Just like me!
3 of 10 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on August 1, 2006 2:10 PM
I am beyond thrilled you're recapping this! I already hate them all and can't wait to hate them even more. I almost didn't recognize Eric without his stupid jump rope.
4 of 10 | Posted by beanzie
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Posted on August 1, 2006 4:45 PM
5 of 10 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on August 2, 2006 6:09 AM
This show was very boring.
I can't stand USman, he thinks he is so good looking and he isn't. Also when he asked that relationship lady about his game on Fire Island she told him to lose the shades. I thought it was funny he didn't.
Lauren and Zach she controls him that's why he doesn't ever like the other girls. He probably texts her while on the date and tells her things and if it sounds like she likes the girl she tells him not to and he does what she says.
I am going to watch this show one more time and if it doesn't get any drama or more exciting I am not watching it again.
Also I thought it was a show about mainly 30 somethings not twenty somethings. But I figured most of the people are about 29-30 and Zach and Lauren are the youngest at 25.
6 of 10 | Posted by PattiJo
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Posted on August 2, 2006 8:42 AM
I saw the second episode (We know people who know people) and trust me, it gets better.
7 of 10 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on August 2, 2006 9:23 AM
Yes this show was filmed from Memorial Day 06 to 4th of July 06...I guess in their haste they skimped on the good reality storyline editing I would expect from something like 8th and Ocean or Laguna. Conjuring drama from various glances!
8 of 10 | Posted by BK_KT
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Posted on August 2, 2006 12:28 PM
What about Useless? Usako?
When KJ described his ideal type of woman, all Mary saw was 'challenge' on his forehead.
Zack really needs to just screw someone in front of Lauren.
9 of 10 | Posted by kelley
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Posted on August 2, 2006 2:17 PM
I'm so glad you're writing on this show. I thought it was good and has excellent potential. I hope Zach grows up and finds a new girl and stops worrying about his ex; should be interesting.
10 of 10 | Posted by couchpotato
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Posted on August 5, 2006 5:18 PM