The guests are eerily quiet after Hobag's departure. Everyone is surprised and upset. Some things are constant in this world: sunsets, taxes... Scorp and Hobag. Grimace Face Myrna said it was bound to happen. Bound to happen? Do you think you're God? It didn't have to happen. There was no divine ordinance that anyone had to break up Scorp and Hobag. "They could have still been together," she says. "You know what I mean?" No. We don't. You're a bitch.

The originals are majorly PO-ed. Jersey and James are talkin' gangsta about throwin' down on her and Biscuit HATES that girl. Scorp says that it was tough and that he didn't see it coming. "Is it that serious?" demands Myrna. Like is she bad person, people? Does this reflect her character? Myrna does a shot to console her guilty conscience. TD says people don't like you when you tell it how it is. Poor TD, what a hairshirt she wears in her quest for truth.

Can't you see in my face what a nice person I am?

That night Scorp gets locked out of his room by none other than Grimace Face. What happened to all the "spoke"ing Grimace Face wanted to do? She's the new cuntry singer. I went to go do more "Myrnastar" recon at her myspace profile and that bitch set it to private now, so I couldn't crib more material. She's on to me.

Next morning at breakfast, the boys can't believe that Grimace locked Scorp out. Grimace's excuse is that she was nervous and thought he would flip out. Grimace needs "peaceful sleep", people. She can't have a lovelorn Scorpio disrupting it. In my experience, scorpios only flip out on the people they actually are dating, so get over yourself, sister.

After breakfast Mikey talks to Biscuit and James about it and Biscuit takes the reins by going over to Grimace and asks her why she did that to Scorp. Grimace gets uber defensive. "Okay, okay. That's up to me and him!" She tries to sound in control, but we all see through it. In her dumb voice, she says that's her and "Mikey's" issues and that its none of her business. She condescendingly thanks Biscuit for bringing it to her attention, but she'll talk to Scorp about it and then giggles like she made a huge power play when Biscuit leaves. I thought it would have been great if Biscuit had just sat there in silence and creeped Grimace and "Model" out.

When she goes back to report what Myrna said to Scorp, he laughs about all the talking Grimace has done with him. NONE! Biscuit says that voice is gonna haunt her. I think everyone's ear drums have been damaged and I'm glad the guests of Paradise are finally fighting back.

Biscuit as Grimace: Not bad!

Then the group gathers for an Amanda meeting, who is all double talk and playing coy. She says that there will be a new arrival....kind of. Oh, Amanda you tease! She announces that the new arrival is no stranger to Paradise. And...it's ZACH! From the OG OGs! Zach is from "Hawaii" now. Oh, hells yeah. The original assclown in the house! I love it. I still use "A, and number two" as a really smart way of listing things I'm mad at a person about. Bring it on. And getting the kid glove treatment, we get a montage of all the asinine things he said and did while he was a guest of Paradise, including the threat of physical violence to Keith. What a charmer!

2003 Zach

New and Improved 2008 Zach

He's at least pretending to be amiable for the moment, saying he's grown up and knows what a jerk he was the first time around. And Amanda drops the bombshell that Zach is the last arrival at Paradise. It's that time, gang. This is it. From here on out people are gonna be picked off one by one and we are going to see who wins the ultimate prize.

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Posted in Paradise Hotel by InternetSensation at 9:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: yankeesfan on Apr 17, 2008 01:10 PM.