Keep looking.
Have you ever wanted to watch a show where nothing actually happened? I know, I know. You're saying that you already watch The Hills. But those people are on quaaludes compared to our Paradise Hotel guests. It's so much more fun to watch nothing happen with aggressive, drunk people! At this stage of the game everyone is sunburnt and bitching, and now Raheim's back, so you know there's a lot of accusing, yelling, pontificating and absolutely no action. Luckily Lady Sensation is all about the action and is not a carrier of any STDs. So you best just get down with me.
It's morning in Paradise, the sun is shining, the idiots are feeding. "We know why we're here." says TD, keeping this breaking news to herself.
Sexy Messenger delivers a note, but it doesn't shed any light on this matter either. It says that tonight they have a Pandora's Box. Fun! Hopefully the hotel asks some questions, because when the hotel asks questions, bitches go home.
Biggie and Biscuit admire Zach's back in the pool, because there is truly nothing else to discuss. Birds and sunsets have already been riveting topics, so onto Zach's anatomy! It's crazy-looking! they say.
Chill, girls. Both of you ladies can touch my deltoids.
And it's also time to discuss the sexual tension between Biggie and Zach. They play coy like there was no finger painting between them. Sluts! She said it was intense. Zach said they made out.
Scorp and James gossip about how PO-ed TD got when he picked her last night, but James got the glance of approval from Biscuit when he did it, so he knows he did the right thing. He's full speed ahead to win this thing with Droopy Biscuit. Sure it was sad to see Jersey go and all, but now nothing will distract him from the Ultimate Prize!
And now Pandora's Box already. Good move, PH. No inane lunches or pool chatter to distract us from an ultimate throwdown. James is up first and the question is for Grimace. With Chris gone, which guy do you relate to the most? She says, "I can't rilly answer that questionnnnn" in her dumb-dumb voice. And James goes, "Well, that's because the answer is nobody." Ha! Scorp devolve into silent giggles and it's funny, brah, but it ain't that funny.
Remember that time Hobag was eliminated?? That shit was hilary!
Droopy Biscuit asks Orbi, "What are your thoughts on Grimace after she ragged on "Model" and then Chris was the one that left?" Ninja say what? Who cares about this dude's thoughts on anything? Orbi is happy to comply though. He says that he wouldn't trust her, but she had her reasons, so whatevs. But Grimace is not content with that diplomatic answer. Oh no. So now it's time to get in a fight and Grimace tries to talk like she's not fighting and doesn't care but she totally does. She says that him being mad at her still shows his "true colors". People love to throw around the expression "true colors" like it's really hurtful. Like, we all saw you as this rarefied burnt sienna. But then it turned out you were just doo doo brown.
Scorp jumps in and starts yelling at her. Grimace is ganged up on and it's a beautiful thing. He shouts at her that she's on the "boiler plate". Burn, bitch, burn!
"Stank cinnamon."
Grimace asks the next question to Scorp, "Are the other girls worthy of being here?" And she busts a looks at him like she really got him with that one. So he looks at her back like she's the biggest idiot evs and goes, Yeah, obviously, they're worthy because they're here. But, does he miss Hobag? Yeah, the two are not mutually exclusive. But again, not enough for Grims! So she's like well, who would you have taken out if you were me, suddenly making this about her and how she's the one that sent Hobag home. Scorp was like awesome question, put it in the box next time. Boo-yah. STFU. Then she has to justify herself all over again. At some point I stop hearing words and just nasal yammering.
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Comments (1)
Funny recap - so glad you commented on how sweaty they all are. It's amazing we aren't seeing more acne breakouts - these people are greased up every single night. I can only imagine how they must SMELL. (That could explain all the grimacing).
Delighted to see Myrna and Aaron leave. I was tired of both of them.
Then again - like you so wisely pointed out, there isn't anyone to really like this season. Last go round I was so enamored of Charla (was that her name?) and wanting her to stay around to torment Tony, Zach, Amy and the gang.
Zach is a tool. I'm surprised Mike didn't take him out. He is more of a threat than Aaron. You should eliminate your threat. But these people aren't clever enough to figure that out.
Loved the final screencaps of Myrna.
1 of 1 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on May 2, 2008 8:20 AM