Anybody out there?
Is there an echo in here? Am I the only one still watching this thing? Okay. So things at Paradise Hotel haven't been the same without the excitement of body shots, government metaphors, and awesome underdogs like Charla and the Barbies ruled the roost, but we're sticking this thing through till the finish, right? So today I present a special image-driven recap, partly because I myself am over it, but mostly because it just amused me. Welcome to Internet Sensation Paradise. Don't let your children read this.
Surprise Surprise! After elimination, where Grimace got sent packing, James informs the group that he is in fact "playin the game". "It's not rocket science," he announces. Yeah, most likely. I think it's safe to say that Paradise Hotel and Rocket Science will never ever cross paths.
He's here to win and punch drunk off his power from elimination. He says that obviously he wouldn't send himself home. It was pretty obvious to me, too, that he'll do anything to win, but Biscuit sees that as a hyuuuuge character flaw. One that she hasn't seen in the previous thirty episodes. In her mind it was obvious to send the least trustworthy person home.
But you know what is rocket science? Figuring out why the eff y'all aren't losing you shit over how HAWESOME I was back there.
Yeah. You're gonna have to keep thinking about that one, brosef.
When you're this pasty, you naturally have a stick up your ass.
James seems a bit surprised no one is giving him kudos. He says that he magnanimously ousted Grimace for Orbi, who is lying on the couch like he could give a rat's ass. James then says that Biscuit pissed him off, but he likes her too much to get rid of her. Biscuit is not impressed. He then says several times that they're gonna hug it out later. Hugging it out is so Entourage season three.
Those dudes on Entourage are so cool, man.
Orbi isn't impressed either. He doesn't like that James keeps saying that he sent home Grimace for him. Nobody liked Grimace so I'm not sure why Orbi is now labeled as the one spearheading that mission to get her out. I thought I was, to be honest. And I'd like a little credit.
Zach counters that at least James is upfront about it all and respects him for that. I say Zach is the new Ari Fleischer. And speaking of Zach, he's gettin' himself some nice action from the Biggie Doll.
My mouth fell off from #&%^@# so much @#($5)#.
Next day, James lodges himself up TD's ass, who also just "uh-huh"'s her way through conversations with James. One would think James would start to notice that no one really responds to him anymore. He hasn't quite figured out the the amount he talks is inversely proportional to the amount people are paying attention.
With everyone else James is now singing a different tune about the Droopster. Now he was "this close" to sending her home. If it hadn't been for Orbi's endless cries of a Grimace-free Paradise, James would've had to use his powers differently. James's entitlement to his random, fleeting moment of power is almost endearing. His insecurity is just so palpable.
TD says that things are gonna be weird because she's third on the totem pole. Everybody loves Biscuit and Zach and Biggie are knockin' boots, where does that leave her? But James ASSURES her that she's his number one. It's the only way he has to play it. Biscuit has Scorp and Orbi, so she really doesn't need his lyin', game-playin ass. TD doesn't have "Model" or Chris, so she's kind of stuck with him again. But TD still doesn't like that he didn't talk to her once he had the crush on Jersey and is keeping that in mind for future decisions.
I'm the new grimace, bitches.
Everyone is giggly at breakfast because they know some crushing occurred between Biggie Doll and Zach. Biggie Doll cops to it right away, as does Zach with a more insulting response, "Did you think it was a challenge?" God, I hope Sexy Messenger leaves condoms in the night stand drawers.
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Comments (5)
well, i am also watching this show for some reason. td still annoys me beyond belief. she talks so slow and her lip gloss is always on the outside of her lips. also, i cant believe u didnt comment on zach's tighty whitey's in the last scene!! who wears tighty whiteys!?
biscuit annoys me when she talks about people playing the game! isnt that what they r there for? some people are just playing harder than others...im wanting mike to win the whole thing.
1 of 5 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on May 9, 2008 4:59 PM
I am watching the show too for some reason as well. I miss some of the ones who are not there anymore, and the ones who remain, I could care less about. I will finish though, and I do hope Mike wins as well.
2 of 5 | Posted by Fourteen Forty | Posted on May 9, 2008 8:00 PM
I only started watching this one because of the hype over the first season. I can't believe how much this show sucks ass.
You can almost sense the producers' desperation here. Wishing something, anything would happen with this gang of total losers.
I mean, maybe they were hoping Droopy would have her first sex on the show?
Nothing can save this trainwreck. Except the recaps, which are more fun than the actual show.
"Ultimate Prize" indeed. No doubt they were waiting to see if they made any money with this dog --and adjust the 'prize' accordingly.
Ugh.
3 of 5 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 10, 2008 11:29 PM
gang. thanks for sticking with!
i for one am sad that this has been such a disappointing go. i remember i *lived* for the first season. it makes a difference when there are contestants you can get behind. there is absolutely no one i care about this season, and it just makes everything tedious and grating on my nerves. at least i can channel my frustration through mocking recaps.
and yankeesfan, i DID have a comment on the tighty whiteys. i think i changed it at the last minute and forgot to add a note on it elsewhere. total missed opportunity indeed. i was SHOCKED zach had those on, and then that mr. modesty would show them off sprawling on top of the sheets. those two are killing me. bring amy back, i say!
love y'all!
xoxolady s.
4 of 5 | Posted by theinternetsensation | Posted on May 11, 2008 9:38 AM
internetsensation, I bow to you. Your recaps are hilarious. You always capture the true intentions of these goofballs and articulate them in ways my mind is just not capable of. I hope next season gives you better ho's and bro's to work with, Dude (that was for James). Thanks for all the laughs.
5 of 5 | Posted by susana456 | Posted on May 12, 2008 6:56 AM