After the giggles (girls) and congrats (males) die down, the girls talk shop and the men seem a bit uncomfortable with one another. Nobody likes James anymore. The girls know that Scorp and Orbi don't like James anymore. Biscuit asks TD if she'll choose James out of fear that he'll get power again and she says that at this point she'd rather be partners with Orbi. But nobody knows what's around the corner, so it's hard to predict what the next move is to make.
I wax my chest. I don't get why I'm not more popular with the ladies.
So at lunch, Sexy Messenger comes with her hair down--who knew that bitch's hair was so long--and this time the note is actually for the person she delivers it to.
This shit's gone on forever. How many headbands do you think I have?
OMG GUYS! IT SAYS I WON!! HAHA. JUST KIDDING!!! Fooled you, didn't I?
Yeah. NO.
Zach gets a note that he gets to go out with the ladies! The OGs will also get an excursion and James is ready to go to a spring break spot with a bunch of drunk girls partying. No one seems to follow that cheer. Biscuit even goes, yeah, cool under her breath. All James needs to add is that date raping is so cool.
Date raping is so cool.
Biscuit makes a sneery face every time James talks. She says that she doesn't care if she ever talks to him again. When she comes up to him and tells him, voice shaking as she tries to hold back the tears, that she thought he would be her friend for life and that now she doesn't care if they talk the rest of the trip, he just says that he knows he ruined his character with her. When she adds that he can shut up about how he made a mistake not sending her home, because she's heard it from everyone, he finally gets the message that he can shut up about gossiping to everyone that he should've sent her home.
James. I'm pregnant with your immaculately conceived child.
But James doesn't feel the same sentimentality Bisky does. He just thinks he obviously picked the wrong teammate to go the distance with. Damn straight! Never pick a virgin to do a ho's job!
Excursion time! Zach and the "ladies" go horseback riding. The girls ooh and aah over how cute the horses are and Biscuit clumsily mounts her horse admitting she doesn't "ride" very often. Zach just chuckles merrily over that one. He is absolutely incredulous as to how every conversation turns sexual. Hey, I got it! Y'all are drunk paradise hos!
Just you and me. We're the only black ones left.
Hey, Zach doesn't look like Zach when he smiles. I thought it was some horse trainer dude:
The role of Happy Zach will be played by Judd Nelson.
The OGs excursion is a walk down to the beach. Why will they never let these people leave hotel premises?
We're free!!! Do you think those Cuban refugees will let us hop on their raft?
Amanda is definitely the bitch warden of paradise prison. So Orbi is enjoying himself, just hanging out with Scorp as a friend rather than a competitor. And they are giving so much man-on-man love that James has become sort of a third wheel. Orbi and Scorp share a kayak, leaving James adrift. James knows that he's out of the whole group and this will probably mean he will just play the game harder.
Guys? Are you really going to Miami with those refugees?
Back with the riders, Biscuit and Biggie share a horse for some reason. The girls like hanging out with Zach, although anyone that's not James they would enjoy hanging out with. Biggie is under the impression that it's every girls' fantasy to ride a horse on the beach behind "a studly guy like Zach". (I originally typed that as "stdly". Ha.)
Biscuit and Zach: almost identical.
So Scorp asks James if he thinks he did the right thing by not "self-eliminating himself". Hey, Scorp. The department of the redundancy department called. They have a job for you. And as much as I don't like James, I don't think he's an asshole for what he did. Why would someone eliminate himself? When did Paradise Hotel have such a strong moral compass? Maybe I've watched too many episodes of the Apprentice, but it's never a good idea to say that you are a loser and should go home. Donald Trump would so never eliminate himself. He has way more money than me, so he has to be right.
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Comments (5)
well, i am also watching this show for some reason. td still annoys me beyond belief. she talks so slow and her lip gloss is always on the outside of her lips. also, i cant believe u didnt comment on zach's tighty whitey's in the last scene!! who wears tighty whiteys!?
biscuit annoys me when she talks about people playing the game! isnt that what they r there for? some people are just playing harder than others...im wanting mike to win the whole thing.
1 of 5 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on May 9, 2008 4:59 PM
I am watching the show too for some reason as well. I miss some of the ones who are not there anymore, and the ones who remain, I could care less about. I will finish though, and I do hope Mike wins as well.
2 of 5 | Posted by Fourteen Forty | Posted on May 9, 2008 8:00 PM
I only started watching this one because of the hype over the first season. I can't believe how much this show sucks ass.
You can almost sense the producers' desperation here. Wishing something, anything would happen with this gang of total losers.
I mean, maybe they were hoping Droopy would have her first sex on the show?
Nothing can save this trainwreck. Except the recaps, which are more fun than the actual show.
"Ultimate Prize" indeed. No doubt they were waiting to see if they made any money with this dog --and adjust the 'prize' accordingly.
Ugh.
3 of 5 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 10, 2008 11:29 PM
gang. thanks for sticking with!
i for one am sad that this has been such a disappointing go. i remember i *lived* for the first season. it makes a difference when there are contestants you can get behind. there is absolutely no one i care about this season, and it just makes everything tedious and grating on my nerves. at least i can channel my frustration through mocking recaps.
and yankeesfan, i DID have a comment on the tighty whiteys. i think i changed it at the last minute and forgot to add a note on it elsewhere. total missed opportunity indeed. i was SHOCKED zach had those on, and then that mr. modesty would show them off sprawling on top of the sheets. those two are killing me. bring amy back, i say!
love y'all!
xoxolady s.
4 of 5 | Posted by theinternetsensation | Posted on May 11, 2008 9:38 AM
internetsensation, I bow to you. Your recaps are hilarious. You always capture the true intentions of these goofballs and articulate them in ways my mind is just not capable of. I hope next season gives you better ho's and bro's to work with, Dude (that was for James). Thanks for all the laughs.
5 of 5 | Posted by susana456 | Posted on May 12, 2008 6:56 AM