And it's tears for the gang. Bisky feels she made the right decision, and that when you play the game too hard you get sent home. James is obviously inconsolable. Hobag doesn't care, though. She knows Rumsfeld lied at Pandora's Box. She says when they get home they'll see how things play out, but this just upsets James even more. "Just let me have my moment" he blubbers.

I haven't felt this bad about someone in the administration since Cheney's hunting accident.

Orbi feels sad himself and goes off to his room by himself. Poor sad surfer boy. Scorp brings up that it sucks that Orbi had to get thrown in that position. Everyone acknowledges that Orbi needs his time alone and no one seems to be mad that he put RC on the chopping block. Orbi says that his downfall was playing the game and that it's a shame he succumbed to the lure of power. Ah, Paradise. Life lessons abound.

At breakfast Scorp calls Orbi out for "self-crushing" on the balcony during the sunrise this am. Oh, jesus. These people are loose. Orbi tells us that "self-crushing" is jerking off or "hitting the speed bag" or whatever. He couldn't sleep last night so he decided to crush himself as the sun rose.

The visual no more enticing than the verbal explanation.

Sexy messenger! Scorp reads a message about how the new girl is arriving today and she's going to be judging a hot body competition among the males. Confused Aaron, our "model" from Alabama, says that if she wants to judge the competition, then she has to be hot enough TO judge the competition. Agreed. Hopefully she's as smart as them, too.

And here she comes...Myrna from LA. She's a 22 year old fashion designer and knows that girls will hate her because she's a "hot Asian girl that gets what she wants". James does the gross stick-out-his-tongue thing that he does every time he sees a hot girl. And judging by her dress, Myrna comes from the Wet Seal School of Design. Sorry Wet Seal. I've gotten some good stuff from you. And Myrna you have dumb face.

A grimace does not a smile make.

Aaron wants this girl to see that the game is at a turning point and that if she aligns with them she can last longer.

So Myrna sits down with the ladies and they suss her out for which guys she'll go for. Short answer: none of them. She says that she dates guys that usually have "a touch of black" with good jobs and nice cars. Her hopes to have a gainfully employed brother though really pisses off the girls though. Gold-digging ho!

She leaves to go check out her room and Hobag is a little freaked because Scorp has says he likes Asian girls. Jersey predicts, in her southern accent, that all the guys are gonna love her. So I did a little research on our "fashion designer" and here's her myspace: http://www.myspace.com/myrnastar

Basically I want to date Nick Cannon. Is this an MTV show?

Anyway, when she gets to her room, in true Paradise fashion, RC has left her a note.

He tells her that he was sent home, "to the shock of us all". Or to the shock of you. He drones on about how she should watch out for the people that say they "aren't playing the game" and particularly Biggie and Hobag. Then of couse he signs it Secretary of Defense, which is not only sounds dumb, but underscores what a shitty job he did in his self-appointed role. Btw, do they get RC reading his letter out loud before they fly him back or do they do that in post and get him in the sound studio? Some shit is so lame. Myrna seems no smarter when she reads aloud. "Nice adviiiiice," she says, all drawn out and monotone like a true Valley Girl.

Wait. Was this guy black? Dammit! Bring him back.

So it's time for Mr. Paradise Hot Bod competition. Our men preen and do last minute push ups and bicep curls. Scorp announces that he "crushed" a girl just like her. And our sex deprived wannabe man hos all agree that they want to "crush" her.

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Posted in Paradise Hotel by IS | Permalink | Comments (2)
Last Comment: DP Hooker on Apr 7, 2008 09:06 PM.