Drunkenness reaches critical mass, exploding the entire group.
Our time at Paradise Hotel has come to an end and we sure do go out with a whimper. The Ultimate Prize is revealed at the halfway point and then the second half is alot of hemming and hawing over how to divvy it up? Say it ain't so, Paradise. I wanted nothing less than the return of Charla, Amy and at the very least Tanya (who gets her name back with the correct spelling for being the best thing about this show).
It's our last day in Paradise! The finalists break their fast in silence. Things are tense between the girls. TD came at Biggie in a drunken rage the night before accusing her of all the things she was doing. Everyone is confused and tired, but TD extends an olive branch by saying that they shouldn't let the new people mess up their dynamic. Or you shouldn't let you mess up the dynamic. But who's being specific?
They should have been celebrating! TD reminds them. People are just bitter they're not there anymore. Some people are bitter and they're still there. I'm just saying.
I could be assisting a prophylaxis right now.
Over on the other end of paradise, they call the losers breakfast the "judges' table". That's a euphemism if there ever was one. Judges are supposed to uphold law and order, not be the drunken asshats disrupting the order. What a wonderful world it would be if right wing Supreme Court judges started making decision based on the amount of tequila consumed that afternoon? The world might be a lot more fun. Or at least a lot more government holidays.
Scorp is talking about how they didn't get a toast to their exit last night like everyone else did. What did they get last night? They got "suck it up and deal with it". All Scorp wanted was a moment. A moment! He says he's not going to sit and stew on it, though. Oh yeah? And I'll eat the cockroach I found in my sink this morning if he quietly moves on. He's stewing on this one already more that Tanya leaving.
Droopy says that she's already checked out. She may physically be there, but mentally she's gone. Is that why she looks so happy?
Based on that tan I would say you were never actually in Paradise.
And Jersey gives a "What are we fighting for" speech based on the premise that nobody knows what this Ultimate Prize is and yet everyone is losing their minds over it. You may not win anything! Now that would be some Ashton Kutcher style social experimentation. Thank god he's not apart of this. May I never have to write and possibly misspell his name again.
So back at the finalists' table, Sexy Messenger brings in the final note telling them that they'll be badgered and harassed by the drunken judges that afternoon. They also have to kiss ass and try and secure votes. Basically, the afternoon will suck.
After breakfast, TD nuzzles in the biggie bosoms and she and our favorite blow up doll make up. TD has been her girl and things got heated, but whatevs. Biggie still loves her, even though she got hurt. Luckily someone knows how to move on.
The finalists infiltrate the judges breakfast and tell them they have to give a speeches and that they'll be questioning them. Scorp laughs and says that he has all the information he needs. Oh touché, non-dweller!
See me over here, not dwelling? I'm laughing and not dwelling on shocking betrayals and flagrant disloyalty!
See me here hiding under my hand? Well, you don't. Because I'm not here.
Back in TD and Orbi's room, they talk about Biscuit's fake smiles and hate on her a bit. They know last night hurt them, but they would have gotten hated on either way. TD still thinks Orbi's more popular than Zach. And Zach is still over at the "judges' table" working his butt off trying to get in everyone's good graces.
Zach and James talk game, always games with James. He should be Games instead of James. Jesus H. How is it that I finally come up with a nickname for James at the finale. Typical. Games assures Zach that Scorp will vote for him. And speaking of he saunters over continuing his Biggest Martyr Ever campaign. Poor Biscuit is so hurt, he's so hurt. If this doesn't break your heart, it is quite possible you don't actually have one.
Yeah, totally over it. Just gonna not dwell on it for a few while you guys chat it up.
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Comments (6)
honsetly - Worst Finale Ever! this was so boring and nothing happened...the ultimate prize wasn't so ultimate...the whole thing was just cheesy...and im from NJ so i can say this...Jersey gives Jersey a bad name! She's the typical stereotype...what was with her hair? and he shiny face? shes one of those girls that looks so much better without makeup on. If there is a new season they need to make sure they get some skankier people to be on it, i expected a lot more hooking up and back stabbing!
1 of 6 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on May 23, 2008 10:40 AM
well maybe the show will redeem itself next week.
flipit just told me there's a reunion special, which is actually intriguing. i for one can't wait to find out how these people function in the real world. and what they're up to now.
so...one more recap! maybe...
2 of 6 | Posted by theinternetsensation | Posted on May 23, 2008 2:03 PM
I do not know what could save this show.............holy lame ass ending batman!
The 1st one was cheesy, vicious, sappy, and just filled with super dysfunctional people, the way these shows are suppose to be. These people sucked, they didnt follow casting through the way they should.....by this I mean, when the people fail the mental health evaluation...you keep them & put them on the show...or you go to the rejects of other shows that behaved like lunetics & offer them another free ride, with booze to look like fools on television!!
Thank god for these recaps they were the only thing making it worth while this time around.... sorry the season sucked soooo bad, more sorry I emailed & begged for somebody to cover it!!!!My apologies
3 of 6 | Posted by nubby17 | Posted on May 24, 2008 7:17 AM
Thank you Lady S for recapping the show. Your recaps were the only thing to make this show exciting. I would watch the show, hope for something to happen each show, drama, big time back stabbing, etc, but it really never came through. I would have loved to see Zack split the money differently just to see the reactions of everyone, but I think I would have done the same too. As I wrote that, I guess I would make for boring tv too !!! Thanks again Lady S.
4 of 6 | Posted by Fourteen Forty | Posted on May 24, 2008 1:51 PM
Worst show ever! I think the problem was that 1. it was only on once a week instead of the Big Brother 3 episodes/week platter. 2 - the viewers didn't get to add any of the new guests like season one. The best part of season one was adding that goofy bastard Dave that didn't fit in and wasn't beautiful. 3- this cast was terrible. Can you name one redeeming quality about any of these assholes? I miss the angry sweatband-wearing Zack with his idle threats.
Thanks for recapping - i know it wasn't easy!
5 of 6 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on May 24, 2008 8:36 PM
My wife asked me why I watched this show if it was as bad as I said it was. I couldn't give her an answer....
At least I had your recaps to help me through the experience.
"The more you say "OG" the more I look like a banana slug." ...ah, so many nicknames, so little time....
6 of 6 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 25, 2008 12:31 PM