And next we go right into the brutal interrogation that could be straight out of the bowels of Gitmo. The judge and jury come sit on stools facing the final contenders and nod in agreement with Amanda that this has been "long, bumpy and incredible". You had me until incredible, Mands.
What? Are shoes, like, not allowed in paradise? This is starting to gross me out.
Grimace gets to ask a question first. Ah, the first fifteen minutes were so heavenly without her valley drone. All good things must come to an end and she unleashes her dumb-dumb fury on Zach. She asks a question that doesn't even make sense to me. Something about why did Zach say something to her, not liking her, blah blah Nick Cannon, nobody likes her, whatever. I knew it was gonna be about that. Zach responds to her that people didn't like her because of the Hobag thing. He wasn't even there for that, move on.
Biscuit asks if TD regrets being mean to her that time she attacked her with Alphabutt when she was nice to Biggie, currently TD's BFF. TD still rightfully embarrassed by that apologizes again.
But you bet your bottom dollar I'll show up for groveling.
Games asks Biggie if she's sleeping her way to the top. There's some minor tittering, which serves as the one dramatic moment of the whole episode. But it doesn't stick. She says no obviously and restates that he fling with Orbi ended and she hit it off with Zach, because who wouldn't and all?
She was using me to get to the top? That's a first.
Scorp asks TD if winning is worth forcing Orbi to betray him. She's all dude, I didn't force him. Sorry if that hurt you. We took out our competition. Game over.
When you close your eyes it's easier not to dwell.
Jersey's "question" is just lecturing TD on how personal it all is. TD does a decent job explaining that if it were Scorp and Biscuit sitting up there they wouldn't have had a chance and she said that she never wanted anyone to think that they turned their back on the "OGs". And Droops just goes off when she hears mention of the OGs. How dare she take the name in vain!! It's old! It's crap! OG-using privileges are over for you.
The more you say "OG" the more I look like a banana slug. I beg of you. Please stop saying it!
And then our finalists gets closing arguments. Zach says that he was nervous to come in here, since he knew he was coming in to replace someone. But since he's been here he's kept his commitments to people. He really appreciates that they took him in. He never felt like an outsider and just thanks people. Zach 2003 would have threatening everyone with his army in Scottsdale. I kind of miss that Zach.
Biggie says Paradise is more than reality TV! She says that everyone has qualities that she needs and goes through the entire cast. Biscuit is wholesome. Grimace is ladylike and feminine. Wow, she pulled out something. Damn this girl could be a policitian.
I totally don't believe that either.
Jersey is a good judge of character. She's smart and wise. Games is confident. "Model" is free to express his emotions. We've all underestimated her if she can spin that. Chris is deep and Scorp makes her pee her pants. That's a quality I look for in someone. The ability to inspire incontinence. She says that this whole experience has changed her to the point where he family won't recognize what a slut she's become when she gets home.
And now for the heavy speeches. TD says that everyone had their minds made up before they got there. She knows they're not like and she's not going to to try and sway anyone's minds. Everyone knows her since they all lived together and she feels she was true to herself. She says that maybe she should change, but she also likes how abrasive and obnoxious she can be. And then the tears come and she says that she shouldn't guilty for being in the final four. I think this is supposed to be moving because the piano music is playing at this point. The gist is we should all just respect her for being a mouthy, hypocritical bitch.
You might be saying something important, but is my hair in place?
« The Bachelorette: Greece is the Word | Main | Real World Hollywood: Delilah and Rick James Associate »
Comments (6)
honsetly - Worst Finale Ever! this was so boring and nothing happened...the ultimate prize wasn't so ultimate...the whole thing was just cheesy...and im from NJ so i can say this...Jersey gives Jersey a bad name! She's the typical stereotype...what was with her hair? and he shiny face? shes one of those girls that looks so much better without makeup on. If there is a new season they need to make sure they get some skankier people to be on it, i expected a lot more hooking up and back stabbing!
1 of 6 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on May 23, 2008 10:40 AM
well maybe the show will redeem itself next week.
flipit just told me there's a reunion special, which is actually intriguing. i for one can't wait to find out how these people function in the real world. and what they're up to now.
so...one more recap! maybe...
2 of 6 | Posted by theinternetsensation | Posted on May 23, 2008 2:03 PM
I do not know what could save this show.............holy lame ass ending batman!
The 1st one was cheesy, vicious, sappy, and just filled with super dysfunctional people, the way these shows are suppose to be. These people sucked, they didnt follow casting through the way they should.....by this I mean, when the people fail the mental health evaluation...you keep them & put them on the show...or you go to the rejects of other shows that behaved like lunetics & offer them another free ride, with booze to look like fools on television!!
Thank god for these recaps they were the only thing making it worth while this time around.... sorry the season sucked soooo bad, more sorry I emailed & begged for somebody to cover it!!!!My apologies
3 of 6 | Posted by nubby17 | Posted on May 24, 2008 7:17 AM
Thank you Lady S for recapping the show. Your recaps were the only thing to make this show exciting. I would watch the show, hope for something to happen each show, drama, big time back stabbing, etc, but it really never came through. I would have loved to see Zack split the money differently just to see the reactions of everyone, but I think I would have done the same too. As I wrote that, I guess I would make for boring tv too !!! Thanks again Lady S.
4 of 6 | Posted by Fourteen Forty | Posted on May 24, 2008 1:51 PM
Worst show ever! I think the problem was that 1. it was only on once a week instead of the Big Brother 3 episodes/week platter. 2 - the viewers didn't get to add any of the new guests like season one. The best part of season one was adding that goofy bastard Dave that didn't fit in and wasn't beautiful. 3- this cast was terrible. Can you name one redeeming quality about any of these assholes? I miss the angry sweatband-wearing Zack with his idle threats.
Thanks for recapping - i know it wasn't easy!
5 of 6 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on May 24, 2008 8:36 PM
My wife asked me why I watched this show if it was as bad as I said it was. I couldn't give her an answer....
At least I had your recaps to help me through the experience.
"The more you say "OG" the more I look like a banana slug." ...ah, so many nicknames, so little time....
6 of 6 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 25, 2008 12:31 PM