Orbi goes last and Amanda prefaces his speech by saying that she knows he can say a lot when he wants to. Amanda KNOWS Orbi. So Orbi uses his time to talk to Scorp and Biscuit. He gives us a story about his friends in Boston and these friends are competitive AND laid back. He says that he saw them as his real friends and that his real friends at home would have said he made a good move. So taking them out was a compliment. And fiesta forever.
Try and stay mad. Try and stay mad. Don't let your elation show.
And now our seven judges go off to make their decision. Scorp, Chris and Biscuit discuss which guy they like. Biscuit is happy with Orbi's response. He won her over.
And our finalists wait in suspense. TD and Orbi feel like it's going to come down to luck. Biggie and Zach don't feel confident at all. And now it's nighttime already! Thank god we were spared any further deliberating. They're moving this right along.
Amanda announces that the waiting is over and we will find out who will win the Ultimate Prize. Each "judge" has a ballot and checks the couple off who he or she finds most deserving.
I'd be making this face, too, if that were on my head.
Amanda calls up each person individually to collect their ballot and each time we get a vintage clip of an interaction with a final four contestant. Biscuit is seen kissing Biggie's ass. Jersey is shown telling Biggie not to #*@#* with her. Scorp's clip is the one where he says "he tore something out of my chest", classic Biggest Martyr Ever footage. Grimace is predictably shown in fight with Zach. Chris is shown that time he almost hooked up with TD in the pool. And "Model's" barking at Zach from the night before is highlighted. Games is shown selling Orbi down the river to Zach which we've all seen a hundred times.
Although we've never actually discussed it. What is he doing to his teeth when he's talking? Rubbing coke in his gums?
Sexy Messenger gets us the best stuff.
Now what? Amanda looks at them all and announces that it's extremely close. Three to four. And...They voted for Biggie and Zach! No surprises there.
We did it, Amy!
Everyone congratulates them until Amanda tells them to sit back down. There's still twenty minutes left in the show.
I'm so happy for you.
And now the next twist is that only ONE person will win the Ultimate Prize! Dun dun dun. And the twist after that is that Orbi and TD will decide who gets it. Oh, man, Paradise. I can see you trying hard, but it's just not that thrilling. So will it be Zach or Biggie? Does it matter? They'll split it anyway.
They whisper in each others' ears and agree that Zach should get it! How did they decide that? My guess was on Biggie. He is happy they picked him, but admits that it feels empty without his partner. He reads the envelope out loud. He won $200,000! The Ultimate Prize! Less than the California Lotto! Wasn't that the amount from the first season? But there's actually something else in the envelope! Three checks. He can split the money any way he wants with one person or two. Let's fill up fifteen more minutes!
I'd appreciate it if you'd talk slower, too.
It's one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make IN YOUR LIFE, Amanda is trying hard to make this monumental. I still think finding a cockroach in my sink was more monumental. So to kill some more time he's sent off to the rooftop to think about his decision.
And now we watch him thinking about checks. It reminds me of the old days of The Bachelor when we'd get five minutes of The Bachelor looking at framed pictures of The Bachelorettes allegedly thinking about which one to pick when he was really just wondering who won the big game during his media deprivation. Suspenseful music plays and we get clips of him talking alliances with other people.
How does she spell her name again? A-M-Y or A-I-M-E-E?
So Zach emerges from his existential rooftop lounge and rejoins Amanda. Did you choose to share the money? Yes, Zach chose to share the money. How many people did you choose to share it with? He chose to share it with TWO. Oh, man. This is just giving Oprah's Big Give a run for her moeny.
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Comments (6)
honsetly - Worst Finale Ever! this was so boring and nothing happened...the ultimate prize wasn't so ultimate...the whole thing was just cheesy...and im from NJ so i can say this...Jersey gives Jersey a bad name! She's the typical stereotype...what was with her hair? and he shiny face? shes one of those girls that looks so much better without makeup on. If there is a new season they need to make sure they get some skankier people to be on it, i expected a lot more hooking up and back stabbing!
1 of 6 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on May 23, 2008 10:40 AM
well maybe the show will redeem itself next week.
flipit just told me there's a reunion special, which is actually intriguing. i for one can't wait to find out how these people function in the real world. and what they're up to now.
so...one more recap! maybe...
2 of 6 | Posted by theinternetsensation | Posted on May 23, 2008 2:03 PM
I do not know what could save this show.............holy lame ass ending batman!
The 1st one was cheesy, vicious, sappy, and just filled with super dysfunctional people, the way these shows are suppose to be. These people sucked, they didnt follow casting through the way they should.....by this I mean, when the people fail the mental health evaluation...you keep them & put them on the show...or you go to the rejects of other shows that behaved like lunetics & offer them another free ride, with booze to look like fools on television!!
Thank god for these recaps they were the only thing making it worth while this time around.... sorry the season sucked soooo bad, more sorry I emailed & begged for somebody to cover it!!!!My apologies
3 of 6 | Posted by nubby17 | Posted on May 24, 2008 7:17 AM
Thank you Lady S for recapping the show. Your recaps were the only thing to make this show exciting. I would watch the show, hope for something to happen each show, drama, big time back stabbing, etc, but it really never came through. I would have loved to see Zack split the money differently just to see the reactions of everyone, but I think I would have done the same too. As I wrote that, I guess I would make for boring tv too !!! Thanks again Lady S.
4 of 6 | Posted by Fourteen Forty | Posted on May 24, 2008 1:51 PM
Worst show ever! I think the problem was that 1. it was only on once a week instead of the Big Brother 3 episodes/week platter. 2 - the viewers didn't get to add any of the new guests like season one. The best part of season one was adding that goofy bastard Dave that didn't fit in and wasn't beautiful. 3- this cast was terrible. Can you name one redeeming quality about any of these assholes? I miss the angry sweatband-wearing Zack with his idle threats.
Thanks for recapping - i know it wasn't easy!
5 of 6 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on May 24, 2008 8:36 PM
My wife asked me why I watched this show if it was as bad as I said it was. I couldn't give her an answer....
At least I had your recaps to help me through the experience.
"The more you say "OG" the more I look like a banana slug." ...ah, so many nicknames, so little time....
6 of 6 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 25, 2008 12:31 PM