I mean "Government".
Hi, everyone! Did you know that Lady Sensation lives in a time warp? And in this time warp this recap is not only on time, but early! Yes, it's great to be delusional. I could be one of our Paradise Hotel contestants. Anyway, enough about me. Let's slather on that SPF and kick it in our favorite banana republic!
Johnny Bravo offers to be the Cabana Boy so he can stay in Paradise and hang with the cool kids.
So as usual the party is just getting started and people are already stupid and belligerent. RC tells Chris to not leave any stains in his room. Geez, TMI, dude. So it looks like there are grudges after all. RC bitches to Biscuit about how Chris can't pick his roommate. "That's like attacking the United States of America and you're...Taiwan." If there were a drinking game, involving shots for every stupid military/government metaphor out of this asshat's mouth, we would all black out and piss out our livers.
Biscuit tells him that she won't be involved in any drama. Good for you, girl. If by drama you mean sex.
TD is excited to have Aaron as a roommate. Everyone thinks he's really sweet, but no one suspects him of strategizing. He feels "blessed". Mainly because he gets to play on pools toys with blonde blow up dolls. God really does answer prayers!
Those kids can make sex toys out of anything.
RC throws out some empty threats to Chris telling him that it's going to be a long couple of nights, blah blah blah. He tells Chris that someone should have told him he was the "Secretary of Defense". Yeah, no one heard it the first thousand times. Jesus H. Chris says that he's not thinking like that and doesn't worry about things he can't control, but RC said he could have prevented that by where he walked. RC not capable of understanding Chris was talking about his juvenile response to everything. When Biggie leaves, RC says that that's good. "it's man talk, you don't want to be here for this".
The congressmen taking their leader seriously.
RC blares on about how they've already trashed the room in four minutes. "It's never looked like this!" He screams. Then he talks about taking his "royal scepter" but then decides to leave it as a placeholder. He even comes out into the common area and screams at them about HIS room this, HIS room that. I almost fast forward to the end of this show to see if he leaves, because if he doesn't I don't think I'm capable of watching this episode or any subsequent episode featuring him and HIS sense of entitlement and HIS complete fucktardery.
Apparently the royal scepter is a roll of wrapping paper.
Chris nonchalantly eats handfuls of popcorn and tells him not to take it personally. RC continues some scorpio passive aggressiveness by telling him that Chris is the one taking it personally. Chris is handling it pretty well. I never knew eating popcorn should be such an awesome F-U to someone yelling at you. Seriously. It's kind of great.
Hey douchebag, I can't hear you over this handful of popcorn.
Luckily the rest of the guests throw down. Orbi and Biggie are back in the shower and everyone is watching. Are there no full doors at this place? There's a lot of miming and signaling and spying going on. Our drunk super sleuths all get busted though.
Fringe doors actually serve as an instructional tool.
OMG!! That's how it's done?!?
Hold up. Biggie has a grill? Her teeth are perfect!
Afterwards, Scorp tries to give RC scorp some advice to just play when the hand he's dealt, but RC informs him that that's not part of the scorpio nature.
Later that night, Orbi, Jersey and Biscuit talk about roommate strategies and Bisky says that only her, Jersey and Hobag should ever room with him. Orbi agrees.
In Chris and Biggie's room, Biggie says that it took balls to do what he did. "Incredibly nice, large balls". Power really gets girls going, just ask the Mystery Method. No conclusive evidence that they fingerpainted, but they did kiss and he appeared to mount her in some fashion. RC gives a ridiculous confessional "thanking" Chris for snapping him out of his funk. He's just loving that someone tried to attack him, because it's filled with him with vim and vigor. He's now recharged and refocused! And he wishes Chris all the best during his stay in the 'Dise. Aw, you shouldn't have. Chris doesn't threaten Biggie so she's loving life herself. It's amazing how much better you sleep when no one is psychologically violating you.
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Comments (2)
OK, I too could not believe they did not get rid of RC at the pandora's box. I think that the originals have some sort of bond though, so maybe that why. It was stupid to get rid of Johnny though, bc he is the least threat to anyone.
OK, when did Biggie get a retainer? I never noticed it before this epidosde and it was really evident every time she spoke.
I can say this bc I'm from NJ, but Lauren looked SO Jersey at the elimination! The makeup, the hat, the braids...it was like walking down the boardwalk at the jersey shore! Also, she comes out with some sort of southern accent sometimes when she talks and it really bothers me bc no one from NJ speaks that way.
RC was so annoying and I also think I would have stopped watching had he not been eliminated. What was with his feeling of entitlement. I wanted to throw something at him!
1 of 2 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on April 1, 2008 7:12 AM
They go in the pool because the mikes don't work there. they say they are horny because it gives the viewer a mental image of them doing something than what they are really doing. we think, "yeah, sexy time!" When they are really just talking out with freedom from the microphones.
2 of 2 | Posted by smaile | Posted on April 1, 2008 3:58 PM