Even the frog figurine gets more action than Raheim.
Let's toast to a successful roommate selection! And we have the ruling body to thank for that. The government is in working order. Didn't y'all know? Paradise has elected officials and has recently passed a referendum outlawing common sense and decency. Get your visas, gang. Let's head on down!
The more stains, the higher the rank in the monarchy.
And it's also TD's birthday that we're celebrating! She's 24 and her birthday wish was to stay here a couple more days. That's it? What about the "ultimate prize"? Way to aim high, sister.
Raheim is breaking down the government of OGs. He's the Secretary of the Defense and he repeats it over and over to the point where he only refers to himself in the third person. It's charming. And some self-congratulation is indeed in order. After all, Obri was the one that sent Alphabutt packing, but it's hard to see reality when you're high on civil government analogies.
TD is the one with the vendetta now, though. RC sent her girl packing, so he's got to go. He is too cocky and she's ready to see him go down. Stage a coup! Stage a coup!
And it's a typical Paradise throwdown. Tops are coming off, Orbi is freeballin' it. Biggie and Hobag are touchy-feely. And everyone is feeling good now that Alphabutt is gone because now there is no drama! Everyone is here to party! Until Rumsfeld makes it a dictatorship, but in the meantime, go on, shame your mothers.
It's nighttime so Biggie decides to ask Orbi where the birds are. Orbi is too distracted by her "perfect teeth and massive boobs" to figure that out though. Does Orbi live in Britain? Since when did anyone in America born after 1975 have a jacked up grill? At least in Paradise. Sheesh. You would think the rest of the bunch had Amy Winehouse crack teeth.
So the two blonde geniuses go off and talk. Biggie likes that they can go to the edge of the pool and have a deep philosophical discussion about the sunrise and sunsets. I didn't know there was much debate surrounding that, but I only read blogs, so what do I know? Also blowing my mind is that Orbi was a philosophy major. I rewind this several times to make sure my ears didn't fall off.
You already are, girl. You already are.Orbi says that he can feel RC's eyes burning into his skull. And those eyes are for real burning into his skull. He's giving Scorpio a run for his money in Scorpioness. Later that night Orbi complains to Scorp that Biggie is all over him and he can't make a move because of RC. Yeah, RC gets sooo jealous, concurs Scorp. Pot and Kettle continue their beef till the bitter end.
RC announces to the group that he is gonna have some fun tonight and will have a nice story to tell them in the morning. But, ho no! Rumsfeld didn't plan on this curve ball! Biggie pulls the "monthly curse" trick and RC is not a happy camper. He says that it's an absolute lie. She tells, nay begs, him to give her a couple of days. He openly says that they will have sex before the week is out. It's gonna "get done". Oh, poor Biggie doll. I feel violated just watching this scene.
At breaky the next day, Orbi jumps right in and says that he didn't do anything with Biggie last night, because he knew that she's RC's girl, but the Secretary of Defense says that it's good to go. It's all game now, so he's fiiiiine with sharing is caring. Riiiiiight.
At the girls' table, they are very excited to be getting their new man. Jersey astutely predicts that he's gonna "be really cute". What? She's not expecting Man Boob Dave's brother? The sexy messenger announces that they get to have a glamorous lunch by the sea. The guys' are pissed that they go off on some fun adventure, but it looks like the just walk down the hill. Sometimes Paradise looks like prison.
And here comes Amanda, waving at the girls with her jazz hands. And now she drops the bombshell, there won't be one new man in paradise...(DRAMATIC PAUSE, HIGH TENSION)...there will be TWO new men in paradise! Woo hoo!
OMG! You totally got me!
And here come Aaron and Chris! Chris from AZ and Aaron from Alabama.Chris is a trainer from Scottsdale. Ah, back to the original source for Paradise greats.
In Scottsdale, when we graduate high school we all aspire to make it to Paradise Hotel.
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Comments (3)
I love the fact that everything can be overheard in paradise through a bedroom door.
The shower scene was awesome. I cannot wait for RC to GOOOOO!!!!!!
1 of 3 | Posted by DG_2 | Posted on March 21, 2008 12:31 PM
RC is such a hypcrite it's hard to watch him! He says sharing and caring and then blames Orbi for not sharing and caring when he was in the shower with Biggie?? WHAT?!?! He makes zero sense! And the comments he makes to Biggie? I really hope he goes home next week.
2 of 3 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on March 21, 2008 12:54 PM
This recap is a work of art. Thank you for putting into words what we all are thinking.I will be looking forward to your recap next week more than the actual show!
3 of 3 | Posted by susana456 | Posted on March 22, 2008 8:33 AM