And then we have Aaron, our southern gentlemen, with his drawl and good will to all. He lies about being twenty-four and also lies about being a model.
I hear everyone lies here, so I thought I'd try a few on for size.These boys love our ladies and they have plenty of questions for them. Aaron says he's glad that it's "chicks" there and not dudes at that lunch. Oh, that word bugs.
Back at the ranch, the boys know that the lunch is for the girls to meet the new guy, but RC is going on and on about how strong the government is. Nothing says strength like when your voice raises an octave and you're shrieking. It really instills confidence in your troops. Rumsfeld always sounded like someone kicked him in the balls. Keep it up.
And the ladies who lunch are loving life. They ask who the partier is and Hobag raises her hand ME! ME! TD likes the new guys. Especially Mr. Southern Hospitality. What is the craziest thing that's happened here, they want to know. It's unanimously agreed that JB dancing naked on the table was. So the guys want the dirt on all the other guys and they learn that RC is the Secretary of Defense. Okay, that name needs to go. The girls tell them that the current guys are a tight knit group, minus Bravo, and that they are going to be in for it.
Hobag says the new guys seem nice, but give 'em ten days when they are undersexed and see how nutso they get. Hobag then gives us a confessional about what fingerpainting means.
"No shit".
Tania makes a dramatic entrance for the new guys and both enter in with a girl on each arm. Oh course there are bro hugs all around but nobody means it. The girls know they are sweatin' bullets. And check out the face on Biggie! Loves!
Biggie dolls are capable of schadenfreude.
RC is already sizing them up. But everyone is doing a decent job of acting like it's all good. So then it's the guys turn to give the new meat the lowdown on the girls. We've already heard that Jersey is the tomboy, Hobag the partier, etc. And of course they're all sharing is caring! What person is actually into this motto here? Name me one. Okay, Orbi. But name me one that's blaring it all the time. RC tries to think like Rumsfeld to get a handle on the sitch.
WWRD?
Then as the girls disperse into the pool, Chris gets the breakdown of the government. Of course given by the SOD. And did you know Scorp is the PR guy? He's so Ari Fleischer.
Must be a PR guy thing.
Chris says wants in as the president since he's oldest, and Scorp is taken aback by this insult to the elected officials and doesn't know what to say so he stutters for a few minutes, but the SOD saves him and tells him he has to be there at least 24 hours.
RC tells us that he's really agitated that two of his buddies are going home. Obviously he doesn't think he's going home.
Why would I go home? I'm so likeable!
So the two new guys go their room to discover that Alphabutt pulled a Chelsea and left a letter. Basically she says there is a lot of scheming. She never mentions her part, of course. Self-awareness runs low around these parts. Her advice don't take anything at face value and trust no one. Our new boys are ready to get aggressive. "I'll throw some bows" says our Southern Gent. Dork.
JB is stoked that there are two dudes because the OGs will definitely be broken up, which is good news for him. He says that now people will start strategizing! Oh, NOW people are going to start strategizing? What an asshat. Welcome to the party. Maybe if you put on your clothes and stopped freaking everyone out, you'd be invited. But JB still can't strategize because he gets distracted by TD's ass twenty yards from him. "Ass in the face!" He repeats over and over like the guido Rainman.
The face makes a case.
TD tells Aaron that she's the next girl to go because the guys don't like her and all have their eyes on other girls, to which Aaron replies that she's the hottest shit around. Yeah, but they don't care about that, she says. TD, FYI, you are not the hottest girl around.
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Comments (3)
I love the fact that everything can be overheard in paradise through a bedroom door.
The shower scene was awesome. I cannot wait for RC to GOOOOO!!!!!!
1 of 3 | Posted by DG_2 | Posted on March 21, 2008 12:31 PM
RC is such a hypcrite it's hard to watch him! He says sharing and caring and then blames Orbi for not sharing and caring when he was in the shower with Biggie?? WHAT?!?! He makes zero sense! And the comments he makes to Biggie? I really hope he goes home next week.
2 of 3 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on March 21, 2008 12:54 PM
This recap is a work of art. Thank you for putting into words what we all are thinking.I will be looking forward to your recap next week more than the actual show!
3 of 3 | Posted by susana456 | Posted on March 22, 2008 8:33 AM