Testimonials

Requirements to stay in Paradise essentially boil down to RC's trust for you. Fun! Scorp tells him to chill out and let him eff the Biggie doll. Seriously. God, this is like an anthropological study on what happens when men do not get sex. Sharing is caring, Scorp proclaims. (He then has to throw in that he's not there for a relationship. Do you hear that Hogirl??)

RC then says that Orbi can think with his dick, but he can't fuck with his paycheck. Biggie is his paycheck? Ah, that's right. He's on the pro circuit. He gets paid for this. At this point Orbi comes and listens at the door. RC says that his strategy is "Ryan is gone". Orbi makes a "Hmmm, interesting" face.

I can think with something other than my penis? Fascinating.

At the bar, RC comes up to Orbi and asks what the problem is. Orbi tells him not to talk to him and that he knows who his friends are. He's just going to be mellow. "If that's how you want to play it, big guy." God, these guys are so believable when they talk tough. You can hear James fighting in the background or going off on something and JB chiming in, but apparently that's not the more interesting fight. Damn, all these wannabe hos are crazy.

In their room, Orbi is crying to Hobag about how he has no friends. He expected to be friends with these people for life. And then, RC knocks on the door and Hobag doesn't want to answer it, but Orbi does just so he can close the door in RC's face with a "Nope!" and RC laughs maniacally to prove he is actually the one with the power. Yeah, you're convincing no one.

In the SOD's room, the lame analogies continue, but this time they get medieval! And the threats which may or may not need intervention. Now Biggie has destroyed Camelot. She tells him that Orbi was afraid to kiss her and RC says that it's because she's the "first lady". He can't even keep it straight. Rumsfeld is not married to Laura Bush. You belong to me at least for three days, he says, taking creepy to a new level. And scorpio predictability. In her confessional, she says that he is indeed freaking her out.

And sucking the hotness out of her. Stop, dude.

Next morning in Paradise, the girls talk about all the shit that went down. And then Biggie defends RC. Oh, Stockholm Syndrome.

Boys breakfast is quiet. Sexy messenger comes and delivers note to Chris and Aaron. Aaron reads really slowly. Dork. That night there will be a selection and two other men will go to the single room. Ha! I hope it's RC and James!!

The girls are talking about not wanting to get stuck with someone bad. Biggie now admits that she's freaked out by the SOD. She says she won't be picked because she hasn't given the new guys the time of day. Scorp and Orbi are discussing last night and they are both over RC.

And TD is trying to become the reigning puppet master. She tells Biggie that she's played it wrong with RC and now he's manipulating her. And then she's telling the new guys how they should pick. Do you want to play it smart or safe? Smart will help them last longer. They need to stick together. "The Game" is nasty. TD knows everything.

I see a pointless toast in your future.

And now it's time for roommate selection, basically they have no restrictions and the girl they pick will definitely send the guy to the single room. It's short and definitely, definitely sweet.

Aaron picks TD. And he says it's because TD made him feel at home and they're from the south. And Chris picks Biggie! Ha! Now JB and RC get to be bed buddies! Amanda asks how he feels and RC says that all it means is that someone is borrowing his room for a couple of days. Riiiight. Hold it, he says to Chris. When Amanda asks if they are going to hold grudges, RC lies through his teeth. No, he assures us. Yeah, that nervous hand slapping really shows how cool, calm and "collective" you are.

Your BFF and Jersey mock you.

Amanda definitely mocks you.

The world mocks you.

Marry Boff Kill: Loser, RC, Winner Chris, Most Annoying (By a long shot) RC. Kill RC in several fashions, Marry Chris.

Of course in upcoming scenes we see that RC won't sleep till Chris goes home. And Biggie dolls talk back! Excellent!