Right away, we find out that today is going to be a mermaid kind of day. Apparently, the photo shoot with Miguel and Siren as models was such a smashing success that now there is going to be a whole ad campaign starring the two of them. All of the ads will have nautical themes. I guess they are advertising the same perfume as before, but that’s not totally clear.

Earlier in the week, Kay snuck out of the house at the crack of dawn to talk to Miguel alone down by the docks. (He was getting ready to go out to work on a fishing boat.) Of course, Kay wanted to talk about how Miguel should dump Siren. Kay and Miguel had a long discussion and then ended up in an emotional hug, which of course was interrupted by Fox and Siren walking in all indignant. To cover, Miguel and Kay made up this story that they were discussing this great new ad campaign idea. Fox loved it, so that’s why they’re now stuck actually producing it.

Kay and Fox discuss the new ad campaign.

Even though Kay is the one who sold Fox on the ad idea, she’s still bitching to him about Siren, and he keeps telling her to chill out. He thinks it’s weird that she’s so anti-Siren, but he doesn’t seem to have a clue that she might, um, like Miguel. Fox is not the sharpest tool in the shed. After Fox leaves the room, Kay – that’s right – talks to herself. She says, “There’s something fishy about Siren.” Get it? GET IT????

Now – a few weeks ago, Miguel met this crusty old Gorton’s Fisherman type. Let’s just call him Gorton (even though his name is Carl). Gorton has a tattoo depicting a mermaid. Miguel is totally weirded out by it, because the tattoo looks exactly like Siren, so much so that Miguel at first thought she must have modeled for it. But that’s impossible, because the guy has had the tattoo for forty years, and Siren can’t be that old! Or can she?

As faithful students of Passions, you won’t be surprised to hear that in fact the tattoo does not look that much like Siren. But let’s pretend, okay? So Gorton tells Miguel that the tattoo is of a MERMAID he saw forty years ago. That’s right, Gorton knows that mermaids are real. Oh no! Will Siren’s true identity be exposed? Or is Gorton just a crazy, senile old man? Am I allowed to vote for both?

Indistinguishable from the real thing.

Miguel invites Gorton to watch the photo shoot, which is going to be held right there on the docks. Gorton says he can’t, because he’s going out cod fishing. He establishes the important plot point that he has buckets and buckets of really vile-smelling bait. “You’ve gotta let the bait rot for weeks.” Remember that.