Here I owe you an explanation, because at the end of my last recap, Fancy was busy having the life smothered out of her by psycho Beth while Luis chattered away on the phone in the bathroom. Well, the short version is that Fancy didn’t die. The longer version is that she wrestled sexily with Beth, and finally Luis got out of the bathroom and captured Beth. So Fancy learned that her “friend” of the last few days or weeks was actually Beth.
Beth then engaged in a bunch of psychotic ranting about how she’s going to kill Fancy, et cetera. At one point, she managed to slam Fancy into a wall, and Fancy started bleeding profusely from the head. Luis was so concerned about her that he let go of Beth so he could tend to Fancy’s injury. Beth escaped and Fancy was fine. But after all of that, she and Luis were both so freaked out that they just had to curl up in bed together for comfort and snuggliness. Oh, and Luis had to not wear a shirt. You understand, it’s part of the job.
If you’ll be my bodyguard….
Noah walked in (did he have a key? Oh, never mind), and Fancy woke up while he was there. Noah yelled at her, and she kind of didn’t defend herself that much. You know – she would say “No, you have it all wrong,” but she wouldn’t just come out and say “Actually, we didn’t have sex, and Beth just tried to kill me.” She also didn’t really hammer home what should have been the main point, which is that she and Noah are broken up, so it’s none of his damn business who she’s in bed with.
Now Noah is talking to himself in the restaurant. He is in great emotional pain. How could his good buddy Luis do this to him? By the way, earlier in the week, Noah managed to rescue Jessica from that nasty predicament she was in where Spike was holding her at knifepoint. Of course, Spike got away too, so that storyline is back to square one.
Back in the hotel suite, Fancy is crying in Luis’s arms, because of the fight she just had with Noah. She tells Luis the cause of the fight – that Noah now thinks that Fancy and Luis did the deed. Luis chuckles and gives Fancy another nice, big, shirtless hug.
There’s no place like Rome.
Elsewhere in the city, Theresa, Ethan, and Chad are having a conversation about who could possibly have orchestrated bringing them all to Rome for evil purposes. Remember when we last saw Theresa? She was in J.T. Cornell’s apartment, on the phone with Rebecca and Gwen, taunting them about how she could now prove that they were the ones who tipped the tabloids about Ethan being illegitimate.
Well, things didn’t work out so hot for Theresa after that. She wanted to escort J.T. right on over to tattle to Ethan, but on account of all the roofies J.T. had ingested, he was too passed out to go anywhere. So then, she decided she would just show Ethan the picture of J.T. and Rebecca in bed, but J.T. was passed out on top of the picture. Finally, Theresa decided to go and get Ethan and bring him over to J.T.’s apartment.
Unfortunately, while Theresa was gone, J.T. sobered up enough to answer the phone, and Rebecca told him to get himself, the picture, and the answering machine tape out of the apartment before Theresa got back. He did, and so when Theresa returned with Ethan, there was no evidence at all. Ethan ended up accusing Theresa of hallucinating the entire episode. Meanwhile, J.T. went out to the piazza and got arrested for public drunkenness. Well, it’s about time somebody did.
Also this week, there has been a lot of talk about Alistair Crane. Everybody keeps musing that he is really the only person they know who is evil enough and all-powerful enough to bring them all to Rome in some kind of crazy master plan. But, everyone keeps saying, he couldn’t be the guilty party, because he’s back in Harmony in a coma.
A couple of days ago, some of the poor saps who are stuck back in Harmony themselves decided to make double-triple-sure that Alistair is really still in a coma. Julian, Eve, Sheridan, and Chris all went over to Alistair’s nursing home. Sheridan was convinced that Alistair’s bed would be empty, because she’s been having these dreams and visions in which he taunts her, and she’s kind of psychic.
I hope Alistair brushes his teeth before he appears in Sheridan’s visions.
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Comments (6)
Wow, I haven't watched any soap opera in years but it's amazing how much they don't change. Most of this stuff could be taken from any soap and you wouldn't know the difference. Except for the cheesy but "attractive" actors.
You know, the first thing I always do when my head gets slammed into a wall and bleeds is crawl into bed with a shirtless guy. Wouldn't want to see a doctor or go to a hospital.
The large pillar trick and the virtual reality scenes- talk about big budget production. I hope they had enough left over to pay the actors (and I use that term loosely).
Good recap, Amanda. I'm grateful you're watching this craptastic show rather than me!
1 of 6 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on June 5, 2006 11:28 AM
I haven't watched this show since the whole Tabitha/Timmy debacle, and I have to say, it's good to see that nothing has changed. I don't know if I could actually bring myself to watch an entire episode of this crap, but I loved the recap. I might have to make this part of my weekly TvGasm routine.
2 of 6 | Posted by Pie
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Posted on June 5, 2006 11:47 AM
Remember when soaps used to actually be an industry? And they had BUDGETS? *sigh*
Love the recaps!
3 of 6 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on June 5, 2006 1:11 PM
Most low-budget soap ever
4 of 6 | Posted by tikilights
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Posted on June 5, 2006 3:40 PM
All the fans knew Alistair was the evil monk. What a complete let down. It could of been so many other interesting characters and stories. I'm a huge fan, but this show blows now!
I'm very surprised this show got renewed another year.
I only watch this show for Beth, and making fun of the monkey faced 'actress' that plays Theresa.
KH
5 of 6 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on June 5, 2006 3:53 PM
6 of 6 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on June 6, 2006 5:18 AM