When they got to the nursing home, Alistair was right there in bed. Dr. Eve checked him out and said, “Yup, he’s still in a coma, all right.” Julian wanted to make sure, so he stuck Alistair in the hand with a giant needle. Nice doctoring, EVE. Alistair didn’t respond to the needle, so they all just left.
Chris acted really shady throughout this whole excursion. Specifically, he was talking to himself inside his head about how he knows Alistair better than they all think he does. Also, he kept trying to convince them all not to worry about Alistair being behind the Rome plot. So, you see, Chris is secretly evil. Yawn.
So today in Rome, Theresa and Ethan and Chad are having that same boring conversation. “Alistair is an evil mastermind!” “Yes, but he’s in a coma!” And so on and so on.
Okay – now, here comes the good part. Cut to EvilMonk in the catacombs. He is picking at the side of his face. To understand why, you have to know what happened yesterday.
On yesterday’s (Thursday’s) show, Whitney finally wised up and started backtalking EvilMonk. At first, EvilMonk just talked a bunch of smack right back to her. Their conversation went something like this:
Whitney: I don’t think you’re really God’s messenger. EvilMonk: Am too! Whitney: No, you might be evil! EvilMonk: You’re the one who’s evil! You had sex with your brother! Whitney: Well, you tried to make me leave Chad to die in the cave-in! That’s not very nice. EvilMonk: Your baby is the spawn of incest! Whitney: Well, you’re creepy! You always have that stupid hood covering your face. I’m going back to Harmony. EvilMonk: You better not! Whitney: I know you are, but what am I? EvilMonk: I am rubber and you are glue, what bounces off me sticks to you.
I have to say, I really lost respect for EvilMonk during this conversation. I mean, you’re a freakin’ Evil Monk, and you’re alone with this girl in some dark, scary catacombs. Show some balls. Whether you’re God’s messenger or not, you ought to able to at least slam her into a wall or something.
Whitney got so fresh with him that she eventually went right up and snatched the hood off of his head. So his face was finally revealed! From her shocked reaction, it seemed like he was someone she knew, but after commercial, it turned out that he just had a horribly disfigured face.
This is when Whitney squandered all of the brand-new I.Q. points she had worked so hard to save up. As soon as she saw that EvilMonk was all deformed-looking, she immediately felt guilty and started being nice to him again. No, Whitney! Not all ugly people are forces for good! What about Carrot Top? Do you think he’s God’s messenger too?
She asked EvilMonk how he got his melted-looking face, and he gave her the vaguest line of bullshit ever: “It happened when I was fighting against the Devil.” Um, that’s it? That’s your big story? How about a few more details. Like, were you and the Devil jockeying for position in the buffet line? Or maybe he stole your parking space. Whatever – Whitney didn’t even ask. She was just oh-so-impressed with his Devil-fighting credentials. She was all, “Oh, you made such a noble sacrifice! I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”
Memo to the world: If you are hideous to look at, Whitney will do whatever you want. Would you like her to wash your car? Don’t shower or comb your hair for a month. Want her to sleep with you? Fake a nasty skin condition. Or do you want her to forsake her friends and family and steal something from the Pope? Well, then you’re going to have to go all the way and make it look like your face got melted off in a fire.
Whitney was all apologetic and she left to do whatever is the next step in her mission. After she was gone, EvilMonk started in with the evil laugh and the self-talking, about how that was a close one, and she must never know his true identity. And then we got the big reveal – Passions style.
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Comments (6)
Wow, I haven't watched any soap opera in years but it's amazing how much they don't change. Most of this stuff could be taken from any soap and you wouldn't know the difference. Except for the cheesy but "attractive" actors.
You know, the first thing I always do when my head gets slammed into a wall and bleeds is crawl into bed with a shirtless guy. Wouldn't want to see a doctor or go to a hospital.
The large pillar trick and the virtual reality scenes- talk about big budget production. I hope they had enough left over to pay the actors (and I use that term loosely).
Good recap, Amanda. I'm grateful you're watching this craptastic show rather than me!
1 of 6 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on June 5, 2006 11:28 AM
I haven't watched this show since the whole Tabitha/Timmy debacle, and I have to say, it's good to see that nothing has changed. I don't know if I could actually bring myself to watch an entire episode of this crap, but I loved the recap. I might have to make this part of my weekly TvGasm routine.
2 of 6 | Posted by Pie
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Posted on June 5, 2006 11:47 AM
Remember when soaps used to actually be an industry? And they had BUDGETS? *sigh*
Love the recaps!
3 of 6 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on June 5, 2006 1:11 PM
Most low-budget soap ever
4 of 6 | Posted by tikilights
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Posted on June 5, 2006 3:40 PM
All the fans knew Alistair was the evil monk. What a complete let down. It could of been so many other interesting characters and stories. I'm a huge fan, but this show blows now!
I'm very surprised this show got renewed another year.
I only watch this show for Beth, and making fun of the monkey faced 'actress' that plays Theresa.
KH
5 of 6 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on June 5, 2006 3:53 PM
6 of 6 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on June 6, 2006 5:18 AM