Ethan was appalled. He tried to explain to Theresa that “million” is not just a made-up word like “kajillion,” but she didn’t listen. Now Theresa is eagerly waiting for Crane Security to bring her someone whom she thinks is J.T. – but she’s about to get a nasty surprise.
Elsewhere in Rome, the big climax is going down. No, not like that, you perverts. Alistair has been unmasked. Yes, that’s right – the key players now know that EvilMonk is Alistair. But before the unmasking, Alistair finally figured out how to get hold of the chalice, which apparently gives godlike powers to anyone who can get close enough to it to read the inscription out loud, or something. The whole time Alistair was fooling around with the chalice this week, it was causing lightning and earthquakes all over the city. Nobody seemed to notice, except for Lena and Maya, who got killed by these phenomena.
The chalice was in a fire in a fireplace, because it has to heat up to release its powers, and while Alistair was working with it or whatever, he was using Whitney to guard the door and make sure nobody else came into the room. Meanwhile, Chad, Simone, Paloma, and the fat old Italian nun were hot on his trail. They got to the door and started begging Whitney to unlock it and let them in.
No, really, y’all, he’s a good guy. This is just how he rolls.
There was a whole debate between Whitney and Chad (through the door) about whether EvilMonk was evil or not. Chad and his posse swore that EvilMonk was the Deceiver and that he was just using Whitney to steal the secrets of the Church. Whitney, on the other hand, claimed that EvilMonk was trying to help the Church and that she had to assist him in order to save her own dirty, sinful, incestuous soul. Oh, and also Chad’s similarly filthy soul.
Alistair finally got the chalice and laughed many ostentatiously evil laughs. He hadn’t read the inscription on the chalice yet, but it gradually started to dawn on Whitney that he might be evil when he pulled a gun on everybody.
Should I trust my friends and family, or should I trust this sketchy monk with the maniacal laugh? Tough call….
In the midst of all this discussion, Chad busted into the room and Alistair’s hood somehow came off, so that pretty much resolved that argument about whether or not he was evil. (Hint: Whitney lost.) Alistair knocked Chad down and gave a Scooby-Doo-villain-style speech about how the chalice will allow him to rule the world.
Alistair did clear up one loose end in his speech, when he mocked Simone and Paloma for being dumb enough to get sucked into that whole stolen-paintings plotline. You see, that was just a little something that he faked up to get them to Rome. Good – I’m glad Passions isn’t going to overextend itself by trying to actually resolve that storyline in some logical way. As Alistair gloated, Whitney finally rounded up a few stray brain cells and grabbed Alistair’s gun.
So, now, Whitney is holding a gun on Alistair as Chad lies all wussy on the floor. Everybody, even the old nun, wants Whitney to kill Alistair, but Alistair says she doesn’t have the guts. She pulls the trigger and then passes out briefly from the sinfulness. The nun tells her it wasn’t a sin to kill Alistair, under the circumstances. I wonder if that free pass is Church-approved, or if it’s just courtesy of this slightly occult-leaning old nun.
Meanwhile, we see Alistair’s robe on the floor, and it just looks like a sack of potatoes, not remotely like a person. (For the moment: BODY COUNT: 5.) Roughly one second later (after the commercial), Paloma picks up the robe and everyone sees that it’s empty. All right, BODY COUNT back to 4. The kids all think that maybe they can still catch Alistair, but the nun says that her second sight-a tells her that he has escaped-a. We see Alistair sneaking around the building in a cat-burglar-type outfit, cackling to himself about how no one can stop him.
Oh my God! Whitney! You killed this sack of potatoes!
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Comments (2)
Lena's electrocution was funny, she looked like a burnt french fry.
Glad Maya is dead and gone, she was the worst daytime actress, ever. Sadly, I suspect that Maya may be hanging on the edge of the building someplace.
I still think Theresa (Lindsay Korman) is a pretty bad actress too, and she looks like a monkey.
KH
1 of 2 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on June 19, 2006 4:08 PM
Darn it, I've become hooked on this show again.
2 of 2 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on June 21, 2006 11:09 AM