Whitney et al. are still hanging out in that same room, being upset that Alistair got away. There’s a knock at the door. It’s the Swiss Guard. Simone opens it – and suddenly they all start kneeling and crossing themselves. Ohmygosh! It’s the Pope! Squeeee! (Hey, is Simone an observant Catholic? And gay? Not saying it’s not possible – just saying it might merit some discussion, PASSIONS.)
Unfortunately, they don’t show the Pope’s face. They shoot the first scene from the Pope’s POV, with holy music playing in the background. Then they show the Pope’s hands and some of his outfit. The nun gives him a recap, and he says, “Gott im Himmel.” So this is not just a generic Pope! This Pope is German, so he is supposed to be the actual Pope. Big points to Passions!
The Pope wants to know who helped Alistair in his evil plan. Whitney gets down on her knees, kisses his hand, begs for forgiveness, and offers up her lame explanation. The Pope tells her to chill – it’s not her fault; the Deceiver is super-bad. The Pope is just psyched that the chalice is still in the fireplace. Except – it’s not! Dun-dun-DUN! The Pope explains, in a very non-German accent, that this is a really bad thing. Sometimes he sounds like Christopher Walken, and sometimes he sounds like Groundskeeper Willie, and sometimes he sounds like Bruce Lee.
The Pope breaks it all down for everybody.
Then we see a bunch of new monks praying in some random stone chamber. They have creepy glowing eyes. Alistair comes in with the chalice and monologues that these monks are blind. Huh. So blind people have glowing eyes? Well, you learn something new every day. Apparently, blind people also can’t hear, because Alistair stands about four feet away from them and delivers a speech about himself, his evilness, the chalice, etc. etc. He says he is God on Earth.
The new face of blindness.
Ethan goes off to make a phone call and leaves Gwen and Theresa alone together. They have the usual conversation, highlighted by Theresa saying, “I’m breaking it down, bitch.” Theresa says that Gwen is running scared because of the $50 trillion reward for anyone who finds J.T. Gwen taunts Theresa by telling her that she already notified Crane Security that Alistair is alive, so now Theresa doesn’t control Crane Industries anymore, and Theresa can’t offer her $50 quintillion reward. Theresa starts to lose her composure.
Alistair suits up as a monk again. He wanders in and out of the praying blind monks, who, again, obviously have none of their five senses at all, because they don’t notice Alistair shoving up against them, possibly stepping on their feet, and talking to himself. Suddenly, a mysterious guy in a suit comes up behind Alistair and puts his hand on his shoulder. Alistair is displeased. He says, “I told you never to come here unless it was an emergency.” And it’s … J.T. Cornell, who is surprised to find that Alistair is alive and kicking.
J.T. explains (to us) that Alistair told him that if he was ever in trouble, he should go to this particular church. However, he never thought he was actually going to find Alistair there. Okay, huh? Since when does J.T. work for Alistair, and if he does, why didn’t he know Alistair was alive? And why would Alistair tell him to go to this church? My brain hurts. Anyway, Alistair is pissed that J.T. is there potentially blowing his cover. J.T. begs for help escaping Theresa’s manhunt. Alistair cackles evilly. By the way, the chalice is totally made of plastic, like one of those chalice air fresheners.
Do you think it comes in New Car Scent?
Alistair is totally repellent as he tells J.T. how “tender” Theresa is. Now that he has absolute power, he’s going to miss “the thrill of the chase” with her, since he can just make her do anything he wants in bed. Oh, ew.
The Pope and all the idiots establish that they must find the chalice before Alistair is able to read the inscription. Um, I thought we already figured that out several days ago. I mean, um, good work, guys. The Pope explains that even he has never read the inscription, because it is too much power for any one man to have.
Paloma and Simone engage in an aside about how the Pope’s shoes are fabulous, and we see that he’s wearing red loafers. Oh my God! That is FUNNY. There was a story in (I think) the Wall Street Journal a few weeks ago about how the Pope attracted a bunch of attention for wearing these shoes. Again, big ups to Passions today.
Big Popin’
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Comments (2)
Lena's electrocution was funny, she looked like a burnt french fry.
Glad Maya is dead and gone, she was the worst daytime actress, ever. Sadly, I suspect that Maya may be hanging on the edge of the building someplace.
I still think Theresa (Lindsay Korman) is a pretty bad actress too, and she looks like a monkey.
KH
1 of 2 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on June 19, 2006 4:08 PM
Darn it, I've become hooked on this show again.
2 of 2 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on June 21, 2006 11:09 AM