Gwen throws a little tantrum to try to get Ethan to stop digging up J.T. She says she needs food, rest, etc., and is nervous about staying in the catacombs where there might be another cave-in. Makes sense, but Ethan doesn't listen to her. Anyway, it turns out that J.T., like Alistair and the chalice, has vanished. The cave-in victims, whose faces are all artfully smudged with dirt, commiserate about this. You know, Ethan should really be able to deduce for himself that Theresa is telling the truth about J.T. Would she really be so obsessed with finding this guy and making him talk to Ethan if she were actually the one who had tipped the tabloid?
Okay, most everything I have discussed so far happened on Thursday or before. At this point, I missed part of Friday's show and thus a bit of Alistair's getaway, but ultimately he does meet up with Beth in some sort of a library. No, wait: It's the Crane library. Because Alistair had someone build him an exact replica of the library in the Crane mansion. In Rome. To use as a criminal hideout.
You might think this is a pretty creative way to save money on sets, but you would be wrong, because on Days, they sent half the cast to a mysterious deserted island that was just mysteriously built to be an exact replica of Salem. Now in Crane Library 2: Electric Boogaloo, Beth admires the chalice, but Alistair doesn't want her to touch it. J.T. is there too, and he's worried about being found. Alistair says there is one other person who knows about this location, but he won't be stupid enough to reveal it to anyone.
Simone and Paloma are back at that hot new club Prometheus. I thought we had seen the last of that place, but I guess we have to get our money's worth out of the set. They are watching Jessica and Spike on the dance floor; Jessica has apparently lost her mind, and/or she's on drugs again. (Earlier in the week, Spike managed to wrest her gun away from her.) Noah, Luis, and Fancy are all there, on a mission to capture Spike, since all of Alistair's other accomplices are either dead or missing. Spike is the last villain standing. I certainly never thought he was going to be alive for this long. Mazel tov, Spike!
Noah has apparently told Fancy the whole story about Lena, Maya, and why he has been such a bad, bad boyfriend. She doesn't believe him, though, so it's key that he secure Jessica and get her to confirm it. Luis and Noah pull Spike off of Jess and demand to know Alistair's hiding place.
Spike's last stand?
Fox, Siren, and Tabitha walk in on Miguel and Kay making out. Fox and Siren demand an explanation, but Kay conveniently has a seizure, so they call Dr. Eve over to the house to tend to her. Ivy (Fox's mother) comes over too. Eve checks Kay out and says she's okay, so Fox asks her about the kissing again. Oh boy. It appears that Kay's electrical shock and seizure have jolted her into some sort of brain-scrambled condition, so that she now thinks that she and Miguel are a couple. Snore.
No wonder my shirts never get ironed.
Gwen and Ethan go back to their hotel room and get it on. I guess cave-ins are even sexier than laundry-room fires. Gwen gloats inside her head about the fact that J.T. is gone and her secrets are safe from Ethan.
With the cave-in safely out of the way, Whitney finally manages to drag Theresa to visit the nun. The nun says she can't predict whether Theresa and Ethan will ever get back together or not; all she knows is that something will happen tonight to bond them more closely. By the way, it's still the same night as the cave-in, but everyone now looks flawless. Theresa is beautifully made up, her hair is perfect, and she's carrying the same purse that was recently buried in the rubble with her. The nun tells Theresa that she shouldn't get too excited about being bonded with Ethan, because she's also going to be in great pain. She doesn't have any more details to offer. What an annoying psychic.
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Comments (6)
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2006/06/22/icymi-brokeback-passion/
1 of 6 | Posted by msado
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Posted on June 26, 2006 12:59 PM
Great recap as usual. I really look forward to your recaps because no other show on television can match the level of crap that is Passions.
That brokeback joke was just awful, and I didn't get the puchline either. Just a small rant: Ang Lee makes a beautiful, poignant film about being forced to live a lie and rather than look at the issues it raises the only way that straight people can find a way to relate to this piece of art is to make it into a national joke - sheesh. Who knew hearts in anguish could be so hilarious? Rant over.
Wait a minute, Alistair was dressed as a mannish woman side-kick and would make out with Beth? Please tell me he didn't know she was his daughter at the time.
2 of 6 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on June 26, 2006 5:10 PM
Norma said, "Make it five" because her Daddy lives inside her head. I actually found this mildly disturbing -even for Passions.
3 of 6 | Posted by Urrgghh™
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Posted on June 27, 2006 12:00 AM
BDOS.... Brokeback Mountain was as painful to watch as the Passions sequence. There are far superior movies about gay self-hatred and self-loathing out there (in fact, most gay themed movies cover that territory).
Alas, Love the recaps. And, yes, Alistair knew he was Beth's father, but Beth did not know. So, it was ok to thwart a potential lesbian's feelings....
By the way, Passions is the sillies crap on TV, but your recaps make it so much more interesting!
4 of 6 | Posted by slutty_whore
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Posted on June 27, 2006 12:57 PM
Thanks for recapping this pile
of crap. I started watching this years ago but can't stay
with it more than five min. or I feel my brain starting to rot. It's nice to know things
are the same as usual in Harmony.
5 of 6 | Posted by campfiregirl
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Posted on June 27, 2006 3:23 PM
Considering the glacial rate at which these story lines progress, I'm surprised ANYTHING ever changes.
6 of 6 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on June 29, 2006 9:27 AM