By Amanda
This week most of the Passions characters attended one of Rome’s ever-popular masked balls. Well, actually, it was an art-gallery opening. But for some reason, it was also a masked ball; therefore, all kinds of sinister lurking ensued. Back in Harmony, Sheridan pulled the rubber mask off of the coma patient, and Kay got confirmation that Siren is a mermaid. And in off-screen news, I found out that Passions’ budget is being cut. Yes, that’s right. Passions’ budget is going to be EVEN LOWER than it is now! I, for one, can’t wait to see that in action.
This is from TVguide.com Soaps News, May 26. Exact quote: “NBC has officially renewed the camptastic supernatural sudser for an eighth season. This means Passions is confirmed to stay on the air at least through July 2007!… The bad news is that NBC required Passions to do some serious financial belt-tightening in order to stay afloat for a Season 8. Sources tell TVGuide.com that the soap had to slash its budget by as much as $5 million….”
Oh my goodness. I guess we had better enjoy the fake-outdoors, fake-beach, and fake-Rome sets while we have them, because soon there will just be one big set with different painted backdrops, like a high-school play. As for the acting talent, they could switch to an all-“Will Work For Food” cast without any appreciable decline in quality, so I’m not too worried about that.
I had a DVR malfunction this week, so I am doing this from memory, and I’m going to talk about the whole week instead of focusing on Friday. A huge thank you to www.all4passions.com for many of the screencaps.
I’m sorry, you and your sister did what?
Let me start with a recap of perhaps my favorite Passions conversation ever – and that’s saying a lot. This happened on Tuesday, when Chad was, as usual, searching for Whitney in the Vatican. Chad ran into a friendly young monk (apparently, a pre-existing friend of his), and they had the following conversation, which I am trying to quote as closely as I can:
CHAD: Hey, do you think you can help me? My friend is lost in the catacombs.FRIENDLY YOUNG MONK: Why sure, I’d love to help. You seem to care about your friend very much.
CHAD: Well, actually, she’s the mother of my baby, and I love her more than anything.
FYM: I can see that you do. Why don’t you do the right thing and marry her?
CHAD: Well, I really want to. I really wish I could. But I can’t.
FYM: Why not?
CHAD: Because she’s my half-sister.
[LONG, AWKWARD SILENCE]
FYM: Uh…. Ooooookay. Well, I can still help you look for her.
CHAD: Great! We didn’t know we were brother and sister when we conceived our son. But now that we know, I still love her.
FYM: You mean, you love her as a sister now, right?
CHAD: Oh, no. I’m still totally in love with her.
[LONG, AWKWARD SILENCE]
FYM: Uh…. Ooooookay.
So there you have it, kids. Your Passions public-service announcement for the week. Love your siblings! Awesome.
Chad knows a lot more than he used to about what’s going on with Whitney. You see, there is this old Italian nun around, and she has-a the second-a sight-a. She predicts-a great disaster and apocalypse. This week, she informed Chad that (a) the Vatican has been infiltrated by an evil outsider called “The Deceiver,” and (b) The Deceiver is using “The Innocent One” as his pawn to do his evil bidding. If The Deceiver succeeds in stealing the secrets of the Church as he intends, it could bring down the Church; nay, it could destroy the world as we know it!
I’m sorry, you and your sister did what?
So Chad has figured out that Whitney is The Innocent One, and he actually chases down and tackles this one monk whom he thinks is The Deceiver. But the poor guy just turns out to be some random monk. Hey, Chad? All the monks wear the same outfit. Just a helpful hint you might want to remember for next time.
Meanwhile, EvilMonk (Alistair) is making Whitney study an old painting for clues. Remember, last week, she found the chalice in the Pope’s private chamber – that is, in the virtual-reality-goggles version of the Pope’s private chamber. But when Alistair tried to touch the chalice, it burned his hands.
Next time, use a potholder.
Well, duhviously this is because he’s evil, but he talks Whitney into trusting him yet again. He tells her that there’s a clue hidden in the painting, and they will be able to use that clue to circumvent the holy security system and get the chalice.
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Comments (9)
All I can think of is the mermaid episode of Futurama...
"Why couldn't she be the kind of mermaid with the girl part on the BOTTOM!?"
1 of 9 | Posted by stm007
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Posted on June 12, 2006 11:54 AM
The "sand" on the "beach" looks like fill dirt. What happened to Charity? It cannot be possible for this show to look cheaper.
2 of 9 | Posted by Vidle
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Posted on June 12, 2006 1:00 PM
Couldn't the Three Dunceketeers have snuck into the MASKED BALL by, I don't know, PUTTING ON MASKS??
3 of 9 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on June 12, 2006 1:37 PM
I wish you could find a picture of Teresa making that long jump between planks in the ruins. I had a burst of laughter when I saw that. And when she tipped over after she barely made the jump.
I'm surprised that there was $5 million at all in their budget. I really believe that the writers think of this show as a joke. No writer can be serious and write this stuff.... Unless it's a Walker, Texas Ranger writer.
4 of 9 | Posted by tikilights
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Posted on June 12, 2006 3:18 PM
Miguel must have a stick of dynamite in his pants, if he's going to penetrate that fish tail.
I love when Sheridope talks to herself. She's an imbecile, and its a riot to watch.
The whole virtual reality story makes no sense. Whitney and bad monk big Al just walked right into the Pope's chambers. They didn't have to do a thing. Whitney had that dumb headset on for weeks.
I look forward to the lower budget shows. Will be interesting. I think it will be cancelled soon, ratings are way low.
For a nun with a limp and a hunchback, she sure gets around fast.
KH
5 of 9 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on June 12, 2006 4:21 PM
I'm so tired of the Monk and Mermaid storyline, it's so boring and makes little sense. I love all the cooky stuff that happens on Passions but this is just boring!
I was wondering the same thing about the art gallery and the masked ball. Why? lol
6 of 9 | Posted by Duchovnysfan
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Posted on June 12, 2006 4:55 PM
Haha, I don't watch Passions, but that's funny.
7 of 9 | Posted by Kathryn
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Posted on June 12, 2006 7:24 PM
8 of 9 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on June 14, 2006 10:10 AM
Love your posts. I can't wait until the the budget-reduced shows begin airing. Normally a serious reduction in budget would hurt a show but I sincerely believe that in the case of Passions this will prove to be a creative boon. Can you imagine the crap they will come up with on an even more shoe-string budget? Comedy gold!
9 of 9 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on June 18, 2006 6:35 PM