One Italian lesbian rushes Alistair, and Beth decks her. Just then, Gwen arrives. By the way, the actress who plays Gwen is pregnant and it has become totally obvious; they just aren't doing anything to hide it yet, and they really should. Gwen asks Fancy what's going on, and Fancy says, "My grandfather is trying to kill us all." We see a thug trying to slit Ethan's throat, and then a lesbian comes up behind the thug and bashes him over the head.
Lesbian power!
Chad, Whitney, and Theresa are out looking for J.T. They're not at the same place where the fistfight/wrench fight is going down - there are actually two different "Rome outdoors" sets. Theresa's down in the dumps about J.T. being missing again, but she feels guilty about dragging Chad and Whitney down with her, so she sends them off to have some romantic time together. Then Theresa sits alone and talks to herself for a moment. Suddenly she hears J.T. around the corner trying to steal a moped. She runs after him, forgetting her busted cell phone on the ledge where she was sitting. J.T. takes off on the stolen Vespa and Theresa somehow chases after him on foot and knocks him down. They lie unconscious together on the Styrofoam cobblestones.
Back to the fistfight. Haven't these people ever heard of guns? There is a super-cheesy moment where Luis decks some guy, gives a proud look to Fancy, and she gives an adoring nod back. Noah sees this and looks like he might barf. I feel you, man. Mrs. Wallace is pinning down a thug with her walker - that's pretty funny. By the way, Mrs. Wallace and Norma are on the same side of the fight as the good guys, because Alistair wants them taken out as annoyances. Meanwhile, Alistair, Beth, and Fancy are not involved in the fight at all and have been doing sideline commentary the whole time.
Lines of the episode:
Beth: "Daddy, stop! Please let Luis go!"
Alistair: "I was hoping he'd be dead already, but the lesbians have turned the tide, so your precious Luis will be just fine."
Beth: "Thank God for the lesbians."
Well, that's what I always say. The thugs get their asses kicked and run away, leading to much female-empowerment yelling and cheering from Edna, Norma, Simone, Paloma, and the lesbians. The lesbians and other good guys then surround Alistair and Beth. Luis delivers a rousing anti-Alistair speech. Incidentally, Alistair is still wearing his monk suit. He has been wearing it this entire time. Also, Norma is still dressed as a pizza man, and Edna as an Italian peasant girl with a walker. This show cracks me up, and I think this episode is proof positive that it doesn't take itself too seriously, in case anyone had any doubt about that.
Back to Harmony. Kay wants everybody out of her and Miguel's bedroom, which is actually her and Fox's bedroom. Fox gets up in Miguel's face all threatening about how they better not do anything but sleep, and then he and Siren leave, along with Tabby and Endora. Fox tells Siren he's going to sleep on the couch, but Siren invites him into her and Miguel's bed instead. Fox is appalled by the idea of sleeping with Siren. Siren says she didn't mean anything shady by it - they can just sleep, like Kay and Miguel are supposedly doing. Fox says no thanks and heads for the couch.
You know, if I were Fox, I would go and sleep at the Crane Mansion - operative word, "Mansion" - but I guess that's just me. After Fox leaves, Tabby starts to taunt Siren, calling her "Fish Girl." Siren pretends she doesn't care that her bed is slated to go empty for the night, but Tabby knows she's just putting up a front. Siren giggles that she has a plan and Kay is going to lose both Fox and Miguel. Behind the bedroom door, Miguel is, uh, struggling with his feelings. You see, he's just a wee bit tempted to give Kay what she wants, especially once she puts on a silky pink negligee and climbs on top of him.
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Comments (7)
"The lesbians have turned the tide." Hahaha...BRILLIANT.
Well done as usual, Amanda.
1 of 7 | Posted by TheEmancipationofGigi
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Posted on July 5, 2006 4:44 AM
Bwah! Greatest Passions recap evah!
2 of 7 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on July 5, 2006 8:00 AM
Really funny recap! I have been reading them and not watching the show. I think I am now going to have to watch the show to get the full effect. it sounds hilarious!
3 of 7 | Posted by OD-TV
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Posted on July 5, 2006 1:56 PM
Whitney could not get her dress off fast enough when she heard that she and Chad are not related. They find out, next scene, he's pounding her. Hysterical.
In one night, Fancy has been poisoned, beat up, been in an earthquake and a rock hit her in the face. Yet, she has no bruises, and her makeup and outfit are flawless. I love daytime TV!
KH
4 of 7 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on July 5, 2006 4:08 PM
The recaps are great. I never thought things could get more ridiculous than the portal to hell in Charity's closet from years back, but after seeing the lesbian fight I know I was wrong. Anybody remember the good old days when Alistair was only heard and not seen? Those were the days.
5 of 7 | Posted by BlueAspic
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Posted on July 5, 2006 9:08 PM
6 of 7 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on July 6, 2006 4:50 AM
Oh, this show is so, so bad . . .
7 of 7 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on July 6, 2006 9:18 AM