Tabby and Endora go down to the kitchen to watch Kay and Miguel in the Pensieve. Tabby gets Endora to shoot Miguel with some purple lightning. It's very funny how they do this; obviously, someone is holding something up offscreen for the toddler actress to point to, so they can make the special effect where lightning shoots out of her finger, but she starts pointing too soon, and Juliet Mills (Tabitha) has to try to hold her arm back until the proper moment. She is really great with that little girl, who is getting harder and harder to control during her scenes.
Miguel gets zapped off the bed, and he and Kay don't know why. The lightning has the intended effect of killing the mood; Kay agrees that they can just snuggle. Miguel talks to himself inside his head about how he's having a tough time resisting temptation. Then Kay wants to know why Miguel never says he loves her. He says it, to buy her off.
Chad and Whitney return the chalice to the old psychic Italian nun. The nun is pumped to get it back, but then she gets kind of creeped out by the way that Chad and Whitney are hanging on each other. Whitney explains that Chad is no longer her brother, and so she will be dropping out of Nun University without ever looking back. Now, to me, this seems a bit offensive, from a nun point of view. This trashy girl only wanted to be a nun in the first place because she mistakenly thought she had had sex with her brother. Now that it turns out she didn't, it's see ya later, Mother Superior. I thought you were only supposed to become a nun if you felt called by God, not for your own personal convenience. Whitney is not even making a pretense of this being a difficult decision.
However, the nun says it's no prob at all. She totally understands, and Whitney will be doing God's work by marrying Chad and raising their son in the faith. The nun cheerfully sends them packing, and I can't help but think that she knew Whit was going to be a crappy nun anyway, and she's happy to be rid of her. After Chad and Whitney leave, the nun mutters to herself about how they are still going to have to endure great trials. Why she kept this one to herself after blabbing all over the place about Theresa's upcoming pain, I have no clue.
Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Speaking of which, J.T. is waking up after his little Vespa wreck. Theresa is okay too, and she gets up and straddles and pins him. She threatens to bash his head in with a brick, and I am kind of confused by how she's managing to pin him down when she only weighs about 100 pounds soaking wet.
Maybe he's lying in a puddle of Krazy Glue.
Luis thanks the lesbians for their help, and Simone says that you can always count on the sisterhood, especially against that homophobic pig Alistair. Alistair gets Simone and Paloma to tell Luis that he's going to be shit out of luck with the Italian police, because Alistair has already paid them all off. Alistair tells Luis that if he takes him to the cops, the cops will just give him some "excellent Chianti." Er, Alistair. It might all have worked better if you hadn't revealed that. Let Luis haul you off to jail and then the cops will let you out, duh. But Alistair doesn't go that route, so Luis starts trying to strangle him instead. The lesbians cheer.
Fancy begs Luis not to hurt Alistair, and Ethan and Noah pull him off. Luis says he knows agents at Interpol who will arrest Alistair, and Fancy whines about not wanting anyone to hurt her grandfather. Noah gives her a verbal smackdown for this. Luis leaves to call his little Interpol friends. For some reason, everybody else just mills around. I thought the lesbians wanted revenge against Alistair! They drove his thugs away, but now they're just letting him stand there and plot with Beth.
Check out the two lesbians in the back row.
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Comments (7)
"The lesbians have turned the tide." Hahaha...BRILLIANT.
Well done as usual, Amanda.
1 of 7 | Posted by TheEmancipationofGigi
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Posted on July 5, 2006 4:44 AM
Bwah! Greatest Passions recap evah!
2 of 7 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on July 5, 2006 8:00 AM
Really funny recap! I have been reading them and not watching the show. I think I am now going to have to watch the show to get the full effect. it sounds hilarious!
3 of 7 | Posted by OD-TV
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Posted on July 5, 2006 1:56 PM
Whitney could not get her dress off fast enough when she heard that she and Chad are not related. They find out, next scene, he's pounding her. Hysterical.
In one night, Fancy has been poisoned, beat up, been in an earthquake and a rock hit her in the face. Yet, she has no bruises, and her makeup and outfit are flawless. I love daytime TV!
KH
4 of 7 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on July 5, 2006 4:08 PM
The recaps are great. I never thought things could get more ridiculous than the portal to hell in Charity's closet from years back, but after seeing the lesbian fight I know I was wrong. Anybody remember the good old days when Alistair was only heard and not seen? Those were the days.
5 of 7 | Posted by BlueAspic
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Posted on July 5, 2006 9:08 PM
6 of 7 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on July 6, 2006 4:50 AM
Oh, this show is so, so bad . . .
7 of 7 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on July 6, 2006 9:18 AM