You would think they could have flown maybe one or two actors over to Rome to appear in a couple of these shots, but no. Then, we cut to the interior of some totally generic-looking "hotel" or "restaurant," where the extras all speak with bad Italian accents. The exception is the scenes in the catacombs or the piazza, where it looks like they did at least build some new sets.
By the way, for the last few years, whenever I have seen a soap go "on location," they always go on location to Los Angeles. Wow - thanks for the effort, guys. I bet the actors were really excited about that trip.
Our first Rome scene for today stars Ethan, and it starts with an awesome voice-over: "The role of Ethan Winthrop is temporarily being played by Rib Hillis." This is exciting mostly because I think Rib Hillis is the best soap actor name of all time. Y'all, his name is Rib. Do you think it's short for Ribbington? Ribworthy? Ribson? McRib? (By the way, he used to play a medical intern on the canceled ABC soap Port Charles.)
"Rib Hillis" in "Rome."
I have not bothered to find out why we temporarily have a new Ethan - feel free to fill me in. To me, this temporary recast just serves to drive home how wooden all of the Ethans have been and how interchangeable they all are.
Anyway, the Ribwich is looking at a cell-phone picture that he just received from Crane Security, showing him what J.T. Cornell looks like. And what do you know - Ethan recognizes him as a guy who was hitting on Theresa at "the club" earlier in the evening, using the name "Joe." Ethan wants to find Theresa and tell her, but he doesn't know where she is. We know where she is, though - she went home with J.T. (J.T. is being played by Michael Sabatino, who was Lawrence Alamain on Days, and was also on various other soaps.)
Theresa doesn't know that the guy she's with is really J.T. The whole reason she was with this random guy was to make Ethan jealous, and it was working reasonably well. In my opinion, though, she took it a little too far by actually going back to this strange man's apartment. Not really that smart.
And just to demonstrate how not-smart it is, as soon as they get back to his apartment, he starts insisting that she drink. Hey, he and Rebecca do have something in common! He also seems to be wasted already, and his slurred delivery is pretty funny. While he's off making the drinks, Theresa looks at his answering machine and tells him that he has a message. We know that the message is actually from Rebecca, so if he were to play it in front of Theresa, his identity would be revealed. But he doesn't.
Theresa then engages in the classic Passions pastime of talking to herself, announcing: "Well, I guess, you know, it wouldn't hurt to stay like a half an hour here with Joe, if it makes Ethan realize how much he loves me." I must pause here to say that Lindsay Hartley's acting is head and shoulders above that of almost everyone else on the show: She almost makes the talking to herself appear convincing. Almost.
Hamlet she's not.
Next we go to the Three Dunceketeers (Jessica, Paloma, Simone). They are making wishes in the "Trevi" "Fountain." They are having a great time, but as they walk away, we see that EvilMonk is following them.
What an expressive actor.
Then we see Noah, in a hotel room with Lena, the evil "Dragon Lady." This storyline is pretty confusing, but I've caught up some since last week. Lena's goal is apparently to destroy Noah and Fancy's lives. I'm not sure why she wants to do that, but hey, I can get on board. So she's going about it as follows:
Once, a long time ago, Noah and Maya witnessed a murder. Spike was the killer and the victim was some random nobody. However, Lena has lied to Noah and said that (a) the victim was her "partner," and (b) she wants to catch the killer. She is blackmailing him into trying to hunt down the killer, and she keeps telling him that he can't resume his normal, happy life with Fancy until he does. Again, you might ask why, and I would be forced to answer - why ask why? Try Bud Dry.
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Comments (8)
The wife of the actor who plays Ethan just had twins so they granted him a fatherhood vacation of a few weeks ...
Always come to Dorian for idiotic soap trivia ;-)
1 of 8 | Posted by doriangz
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Posted on May 29, 2006 1:37 PM
I don't know why, but I watched Friday's episode.
Luis's punch was the most bizarre scene.
And why are the streets of Rome so deserted? the 3 girls can ride a stupid horse carriage (that never moved, by the way) and it's dead enough on the streets for a greasy pimp to grab Jess and not be seen. WTF
2 of 8 | Posted by tikilights
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Posted on May 29, 2006 4:49 PM
I watched the first few episodes of Passions when SciFi started showing them. The carnival was so completely different than present-day Passions. The actors were actually outdoors (natural sunlight!) and there were dozens of extras milling about.
This whole jaunt to Rome just shows how far the ratings (and therefore the budget) of the show have plummeted.
It's nice to get some new scenery (I mean, the Crane "mansion" has like four rooms) but they could definitely use a bit more life.
3 of 8 | Posted by veggio
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Posted on May 29, 2006 7:14 PM
McRib... Ribwich... HA HA HA! LOVE IT! I don't watch Passions much anymore (work gets in the way...crap) but ohmygod, like, I totally remember all the characters. Thanks for keeping my passion alive. ;)
4 of 8 | Posted by GirafficPark
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Posted on May 29, 2006 9:13 PM
Hee hee - the glory "Days" of the '80s (I remember Lawrence Alamain, too!) was why asked if they were really in Rome! I loved when they actually shot on location. Ah, back when soaps were . . . well, I was going to say "good," but . . .
And why the hell would there have even BEEN a photographer in what's-their-names' bedroom to TAKE that freakin' picture to begin with????
I really may have to start watching this. It's so cheesy it's addicting.
5 of 8 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on May 30, 2006 5:51 AM
What is this?!? A mexicanized American soap-opera. Man, I gotta watch this train wreck.
6 of 8 | Posted by milostea
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Posted on May 30, 2006 1:30 PM
I'm a total novice to the Passions wacky universe but thanks to your 2 posts I already feel confident enough to laugh along like a pro. I'm not a soap fan but I've seen the promos for Passions through the years and I've always wanted to watch it because it looked so deliciously ludicrous. I can't watch it during the day and recording it was never an option because I'd have to look myself in the mirror and admit I just made an effort to see Passions. That's just unacceptable, so your recaps provide the perfect escape clause.
The thing I like most about the show is that it's clear the creators have just given up on any semblance of believability or quality. The know it's crap, we know it's crap. The show is now firmly nestled in the realm of so-bad-it's-good. Now that I'm caught up I may just have to bite the bullet and start recording it. If the show is even half as awful as the promos and the recaps make it out to be then it is a definite contender for best comedy of TV, a title currently held by Family Guy.
The recaps are hilarious. You're doing a great job on them, thanks for the guffaws.
7 of 8 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on May 31, 2006 3:57 PM
You know, I LOVE the new Julian but I do miss all of his and Rebecca's crazy sexual escapades. Of course, the one with Rebecca and the donkey was a little creepy, made creepier by the fact they still make reference to her visiting the donkey now and then. They need a new boyfriend for Rebecca just so she can dress up and seduce someone again. I dare say it was comedy gold. TC Russel seems to love crazy women these days, I'd love to see Rage-aholic Coach Russel and Rebecca the slut go at it!
8 of 8 | Posted by squeegie
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Posted on June 1, 2006 9:09 AM