So right now, Spike is hiding in Lena's closet with a gun. If Noah were to find him there, it would reveal that - um - I'm not sure. Well, for one thing, it would reveal that Lena is hiding something from Noah. Also, Noah is familiar with Spike in his professional capacity, as Noah's little sister's pimp. And oh, by the way, Spike has The Symbol tattooed on his wrist (just as Jess has it on her back). Noah starts snooping around the hotel room. Will he find Spike in the closet??
Back in Harmony, Sheridan is staring longingly at a picture of Luis. I'm not sure whether this counts as talking to herself, since she is talking to the picture. She tells it: "Luis, I miss you. God help me, I know I shouldn't; I'm married to Chris and I'm expecting his child, but I miss you so much." Everybody all caught up there? Good. I have to say that Sheridan looks really clunky, since the actress is pregnant in real life. I'm used to these fake soap pregnancies where they are all skinny but they have, say, a sack of sugar under their shirt.
"I'm not talking to myself. When the camera is off, this picture talks back to me, I swear."
Luis misses Sheridan, too. He is in Rome, at "the club," which is called Prometheus. By the way, in several of these Rome scenes, a Rolling Stones song is playing - "Rain Fall Down" from their current album. This is product placement at its oddest. The Stones did this with Days a while back, with another track from this same album. Is it just me, or doesn't this up the cool factor of these crappy, low-budget soaps, while making the Rolling Stones seem really pathetic and desperate? (The songs are not bad.)
Luis is hanging out with Fancy. Her new friend has just vanished. That's because her new friend is Beth, who is cleverly trying to avoid being spotted by Luis. (Fancy didn't know Beth before, so she has no idea who she's been hanging out with.)
Luis and Fancy at Prometheus, the "hippest" "club" in "Rome."
Beth spent much of this week engaged in wacky hijinks, trying to kill Fancy with a variety of Wile E. Coyote-style moves. For example, she was disguised as a chambermaid for a while. She wants to kill her because she has transferred her hatred of Sheridan onto Fancy, who appears to be the new object of Luis's attention. Also, Fancy is blonde like Sheridan, and she's a Crane like Sheridan.
(NB: Beth is also a Crane, as the Pit storyline culminated with the shocking revelation that Alistair Crane is her biological father. However, learning this did not fill Beth with sisterly love.)
At Prometheus, Luis is scolding Fancy for being generally difficult for him to keep track of. She tells him to chill out, and he reminds "her" about "the e-mail threat that Theresa got, warning us that somebody might just not make it home to Harmony." (This type of conversation, along with the wall-staring monologues, is the reason why you only need to watch the show a couple of times a year to know what's going on.)
Her response is kind of hilarious: "First of all, there's a whole slew of us here from Harmony." In other words, there's only like a 5 or 10 percent chance that she is the one who's going to be murdered - more likely, it's just one of their close friends or relatives - so he should just quit worrying about it. Anyway, he lectures her some more, really whiny. He is starting to remind me a lot of Jack from Lost, with all his annoying preachiness.
Maybe Jack is a secret Lopez-Fitzgerald love child.
Luis again reminds Fancy and the audience that his main priority is to find his son. She blathers something about how lucky Sheridan is to have him, because, like, I guess if he wasn't so devoted to Sheridan, he wouldn't want to find his kidnapped kid? Whatever. Anyway, they hug, and then Beth walks back in and sees them (but they don't see her), and she is enraged. She caresses the weapon she's carrying in her purse - a pair of long scissors, the weapon of choice of soap-opera psychos everywhere.
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Comments (8)
The wife of the actor who plays Ethan just had twins so they granted him a fatherhood vacation of a few weeks ...
Always come to Dorian for idiotic soap trivia ;-)
1 of 8 | Posted by doriangz
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Posted on May 29, 2006 1:37 PM
I don't know why, but I watched Friday's episode.
Luis's punch was the most bizarre scene.
And why are the streets of Rome so deserted? the 3 girls can ride a stupid horse carriage (that never moved, by the way) and it's dead enough on the streets for a greasy pimp to grab Jess and not be seen. WTF
2 of 8 | Posted by tikilights
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Posted on May 29, 2006 4:49 PM
I watched the first few episodes of Passions when SciFi started showing them. The carnival was so completely different than present-day Passions. The actors were actually outdoors (natural sunlight!) and there were dozens of extras milling about.
This whole jaunt to Rome just shows how far the ratings (and therefore the budget) of the show have plummeted.
It's nice to get some new scenery (I mean, the Crane "mansion" has like four rooms) but they could definitely use a bit more life.
3 of 8 | Posted by veggio
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Posted on May 29, 2006 7:14 PM
McRib... Ribwich... HA HA HA! LOVE IT! I don't watch Passions much anymore (work gets in the way...crap) but ohmygod, like, I totally remember all the characters. Thanks for keeping my passion alive. ;)
4 of 8 | Posted by GirafficPark
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Posted on May 29, 2006 9:13 PM
Hee hee - the glory "Days" of the '80s (I remember Lawrence Alamain, too!) was why asked if they were really in Rome! I loved when they actually shot on location. Ah, back when soaps were . . . well, I was going to say "good," but . . .
And why the hell would there have even BEEN a photographer in what's-their-names' bedroom to TAKE that freakin' picture to begin with????
I really may have to start watching this. It's so cheesy it's addicting.
5 of 8 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on May 30, 2006 5:51 AM
What is this?!? A mexicanized American soap-opera. Man, I gotta watch this train wreck.
6 of 8 | Posted by milostea
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Posted on May 30, 2006 1:30 PM
I'm a total novice to the Passions wacky universe but thanks to your 2 posts I already feel confident enough to laugh along like a pro. I'm not a soap fan but I've seen the promos for Passions through the years and I've always wanted to watch it because it looked so deliciously ludicrous. I can't watch it during the day and recording it was never an option because I'd have to look myself in the mirror and admit I just made an effort to see Passions. That's just unacceptable, so your recaps provide the perfect escape clause.
The thing I like most about the show is that it's clear the creators have just given up on any semblance of believability or quality. The know it's crap, we know it's crap. The show is now firmly nestled in the realm of so-bad-it's-good. Now that I'm caught up I may just have to bite the bullet and start recording it. If the show is even half as awful as the promos and the recaps make it out to be then it is a definite contender for best comedy of TV, a title currently held by Family Guy.
The recaps are hilarious. You're doing a great job on them, thanks for the guffaws.
7 of 8 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on May 31, 2006 3:57 PM
You know, I LOVE the new Julian but I do miss all of his and Rebecca's crazy sexual escapades. Of course, the one with Rebecca and the donkey was a little creepy, made creepier by the fact they still make reference to her visiting the donkey now and then. They need a new boyfriend for Rebecca just so she can dress up and seduce someone again. I dare say it was comedy gold. TC Russel seems to love crazy women these days, I'd love to see Rage-aholic Coach Russel and Rebecca the slut go at it!
8 of 8 | Posted by squeegie
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Posted on June 1, 2006 9:09 AM