Lena finally convinces Noah to quit digging through her closet and return to his fake mission, finding the man who killed her fake partner. She recaps that he and Maya were the only eyewitnesses; they were in an attic and saw this guy get shot in the back. He says he didn't see anything useful and can't help. She tries to basically hypnotize Noah into remembering more of what he saw, and suddenly, he magically remembers that the killer had The Symbol tattooed on his wrist.
Spike is really sweating it in the closet, with The Symbol tattooed on his wrist. Er, I really don't get this. I thought Lena was just trying to send Noah on a wild goose chase to keep him away from Fancy. Isn't it going to screw things up for her and Spike if he actually pins the murder on Spike? Shouldn't Spike be a little annoyed that she is helping Noah remember stuff that could tie Spike to the crime?
Sheridan has a bunch of sappy flashbacks of her and Luis. She cries, although she doesn't manage any actual tears, and clasps his photo to her breast.
Luis and Beth continue to watch Fancy from opposite sides of the club. The greasy Italian starts making unwanted groping advances on Fancy. Actually, his fake accent is completely French. Is this intentional? Do you think this extra was like, "Okay, but what about my character's motivation? Let's say he's in town from France on business and he's lonely. I just need to understand him better."
With that accent, he deserves this.
Luis goes over and punches the guy's lights out, just like you knew he would. He then tries to justify it by saying the guy was reaching for his pocket. The guy says he was just going for his cell phone, and Luis gets thrown out of the club. Fancy doesn't want to go with him, but she's pathetic and lets Luis order her.
Lena tells Noah to get out of her room and start investigating. She says that if his sister has the same tattoo as the killer, maybe he should start by questioning her. He says that Jessica doesn't know the meaning of her own tattoo. Finally Lena gets him to leave and Spike comes out of the closet. He brags about Noah not knowing that his "sister's boyfriend" was hanging over his head in the closet, and Lena corrects him to "sister's pimp."
Gee, do you think this guy is supposed to be a pimp?
Lena tries to tell Spike to stay away from Noah so he isn't spotted, but he fills her in that EvilMonk ordered him to Rome to do one thing only - kill Noah - and he's not going to disappoint. This makes me wonder why he didn't just kill Noah right now, when he could have had the element of surprise in the closet in this very room. Oh, and also, he had a gun. Best not to think too hard about this one.
Gwen wants Rebecca to call J.T. again, because what if he didn't get Rebecca's message? She demands that Rebecca search extra hard to see if she has another number for the guy. When Rebecca doesn't hop to it fast enough, Gwen dumps her purse out on the bed. Rebecca pours herself another green drink as Gwen rummages through the contents. She is a bit put off by the presence of sex toys - fur-lined handcuffs, specifically, and, um, something that looks like jumper cables.
Rebecca keeps these in her purse.
Gwen finds a manila envelope full of old photos, and Rebecca is like, "Oh, wow, I wondered where that went!" It was IN YOUR PURSE. How do you not know that you have a manila envelope full of photos in your purse?
Rebecca proudly shows off the picture of her and J.T. in bed, and Gwen is suitably disgusted. Rebecca clarifies that this was the first night they met, just in case we forgot what a big slut she is in the five seconds since it was explained to us by the presence of those fur handcuffs.
Of course, the picture provides for a clever segue back to J.T.'s apartment, with the same picture on the coffee table. Theresa knocks it off the table, but they don't bother to pick it up. She tries to draw J.T. out about his editor past, and when he doesn't want to talk about it, she tries to leave. He promises her juicy stories to get her to stay. While he isn't looking, she dumps the rest of her drink into his.
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Comments (8)
The wife of the actor who plays Ethan just had twins so they granted him a fatherhood vacation of a few weeks ...
Always come to Dorian for idiotic soap trivia ;-)
1 of 8 | Posted by doriangz
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Posted on May 29, 2006 1:37 PM
I don't know why, but I watched Friday's episode.
Luis's punch was the most bizarre scene.
And why are the streets of Rome so deserted? the 3 girls can ride a stupid horse carriage (that never moved, by the way) and it's dead enough on the streets for a greasy pimp to grab Jess and not be seen. WTF
2 of 8 | Posted by tikilights
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Posted on May 29, 2006 4:49 PM
I watched the first few episodes of Passions when SciFi started showing them. The carnival was so completely different than present-day Passions. The actors were actually outdoors (natural sunlight!) and there were dozens of extras milling about.
This whole jaunt to Rome just shows how far the ratings (and therefore the budget) of the show have plummeted.
It's nice to get some new scenery (I mean, the Crane "mansion" has like four rooms) but they could definitely use a bit more life.
3 of 8 | Posted by veggio
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Posted on May 29, 2006 7:14 PM
McRib... Ribwich... HA HA HA! LOVE IT! I don't watch Passions much anymore (work gets in the way...crap) but ohmygod, like, I totally remember all the characters. Thanks for keeping my passion alive. ;)
4 of 8 | Posted by GirafficPark
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Posted on May 29, 2006 9:13 PM
Hee hee - the glory "Days" of the '80s (I remember Lawrence Alamain, too!) was why asked if they were really in Rome! I loved when they actually shot on location. Ah, back when soaps were . . . well, I was going to say "good," but . . .
And why the hell would there have even BEEN a photographer in what's-their-names' bedroom to TAKE that freakin' picture to begin with????
I really may have to start watching this. It's so cheesy it's addicting.
5 of 8 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on May 30, 2006 5:51 AM
What is this?!? A mexicanized American soap-opera. Man, I gotta watch this train wreck.
6 of 8 | Posted by milostea
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Posted on May 30, 2006 1:30 PM
I'm a total novice to the Passions wacky universe but thanks to your 2 posts I already feel confident enough to laugh along like a pro. I'm not a soap fan but I've seen the promos for Passions through the years and I've always wanted to watch it because it looked so deliciously ludicrous. I can't watch it during the day and recording it was never an option because I'd have to look myself in the mirror and admit I just made an effort to see Passions. That's just unacceptable, so your recaps provide the perfect escape clause.
The thing I like most about the show is that it's clear the creators have just given up on any semblance of believability or quality. The know it's crap, we know it's crap. The show is now firmly nestled in the realm of so-bad-it's-good. Now that I'm caught up I may just have to bite the bullet and start recording it. If the show is even half as awful as the promos and the recaps make it out to be then it is a definite contender for best comedy of TV, a title currently held by Family Guy.
The recaps are hilarious. You're doing a great job on them, thanks for the guffaws.
7 of 8 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on May 31, 2006 3:57 PM
You know, I LOVE the new Julian but I do miss all of his and Rebecca's crazy sexual escapades. Of course, the one with Rebecca and the donkey was a little creepy, made creepier by the fact they still make reference to her visiting the donkey now and then. They need a new boyfriend for Rebecca just so she can dress up and seduce someone again. I dare say it was comedy gold. TC Russel seems to love crazy women these days, I'd love to see Rage-aholic Coach Russel and Rebecca the slut go at it!
8 of 8 | Posted by squeegie
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Posted on June 1, 2006 9:09 AM