First of all, I would like to apologize to the billions of Passions fans who have been waiting far too long for me to post this recap. I got behind when I was away on business, and then I gave priority to catching up on my So You Think You Can Dance duties. Hopefully, this won't happen again - I know a week without Passions is like a week without sunshine. In fact, I think I can feel myself developing a nasty case of rickets from the lack of vitamin D as we speak. Better get to work!
The good news is that the week I missed was only a three-day week. Passions didn't air on July 6-7 because of Wimbledon. So I'm going to recap last week, focusing on Friday as usual, while also folding in that little three-day week from before. As you will see, not all that much happened, and we won't have any trouble catching up.
Friday's show opens in Rome. I am amazed that we are still in Rome; I thought that was all wrapping up at the end of May sweeps. Instead, most of the major storylines wrapped up, but so far, Passions hasn't bothered to bring any of the characters home. I guess they're trying to get their money's worth out of those "piazza" sets. Also, they've suddenly remembered various smallish loose storyline threads having to do with Rome, and they have really surprised me by actually bothering to try to tie those up.
Good old Rome.
Theresa has just remembered the e-mail she received on the plane to Rome, lo these many months ago. To refresh your memory, this e-mail had three components. One, it said, "You will gain Ethan, but lose your love." Two, it said, "Someone from Harmony will die in Rome." And three, it contained the Omega Symbol, which has become a bit of an abandoned storyline thread in itself, although it's being brought back to life, as you will see.
Theresa thinks that the "You will gain Ethan, but lose your love" part of the e-mail has all been resolved. Remember, it's very similar to what the fat old Italian psychic nun told Theresa, which was, "You will receive information that will bind you to Ethan forever, but you will also suffer great pain." The information Theresa got was J.T. Cornell's revelation that her son Little Ethan was fathered by Ethan, not by Julian. Hence, Theresa and Ethan are bound together forever.
After dropping the paternity bombshell on Theresa, J.T. vanished again (possibly for good this time), but not before providing Theresa with paternity "evidence" in the form of his PDA. I have to briefly mention how stupid this "evidence" is. You see, when Theresa got pregnant with Little Ethan, she had just drunkenly married Julian on the rebound from Ethan. When she turned up pregnant, she realized that she had slept with both Ethan and Julian, but supposedly, she knew the baby was Julian's because when she slept with Ethan, she was on the Pill.
Okay. So far, this is a little weak, but I'm following the plot. But now, J.T. has supplied "evidence" that Ethan is really the father. And this "evidence" is ... "medical records" that show that Theresa was only on the Pill for one day.
Exsqueeze me? I'm not sure where to start. How about, first of all, why would someone be on the Pill for one day? And what type of medical records would exist to show that a person was on the Pill for one day? I'm pretty sure this could only be documented by a surveillance camera planted in Theresa's medicine cabinet. And, perhaps most importantly, why didn't Theresa know that she was only on the Pill for one day? Or did she know, but she just figured that a day was long enough? And, finally, let's say that all of these concerns could be satisfied. How does any of this prove that Julian is not the father? At best, it just tells you that you might want to get a paternity test.
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Comments (5)
I just love to hate, and make fun of this show. It provides more entertainment and comedy than any sitcom, ever!
A lot of the actors on this show look like animals, for example:
Theresa - Monkey
Katherine - Goat
Noah - Horse
I find it hard to believe that Martin had actual sex with that old goat Katherine. She's at least 65 and Martin is supposed to be mid 40s. A few months back, goat woman showed up at Martin's naked. How scary would that be?
This show should be on Prime Time!
KH
1 of 5 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on July 19, 2006 1:58 PM
Eve was the one that insisted that Theresa was pregnant with Julian's child. Theresa told her that she'd had sex with Ethan and believed that Ethan was the father but Eve the DOCTOR told her that because she was on the pill it was Julian's. Both Theresa and Ethan questioned Eve about it but she insisted that the baby couldn't be Ethan's.
Dumb all round.
2 of 5 | Posted by Jyoti
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Posted on July 19, 2006 2:01 PM
Hahahahahaha
the comment about the passions actors looking like animals totally reminded me that me and my sisters used to say the same thing! Sam is a dinosaur...maybe that doesn't really qualify as an animal but still, and if anyone used to watch the show and remembers charity...she totally looked like a mouse.
nice recap, the part about God saying, "yeah you guys are still gross" actually made me laugh out loud, great job
3 of 5 | Posted by Katella
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Posted on July 19, 2006 6:31 PM
Yay - finally a recap! :)
Theresa has a daughter as well?? Wow, I've been away from this show longer than I thought. Who fathered the daughter? And why do Gwen and Ethan have her?
4 of 5 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on July 20, 2006 5:50 AM
This:
followed by this caption:is too funny for words. Great recap!
5 of 5 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on July 20, 2006 6:14 AM