The next scene takes us back to Harmony - specifically, to Harmony Hospital, where the set is getting a real workout, because there are two new patients. One, T.C. is there because he got into a drunk-driving wreck, and now Eve feels sorry for him and it's going to end up destroying her relationship with Julian. Two, Sheridan went into premature labor, and now the baby's fine but she's on bed rest in the hospital.
A couple of things about Sheridan. First of all, she's being played by another actress right now. This is temporary; I'm sure it's because the real actress is on her real maternity leave. The temp is named Kam Heskin, and she seems familiar because she was on the short-lived NBC soap Sunset Beach, which starred Randy Spelling, among others. So far, Kam is doing a very wooden impersonation of Sheridan. She is really making the original actress look good, which I hadn't thought was possible.
The new fake Sheridan, with Chris and his kid.
Now, the reason why Sheridan went into premature labor. This is the one storyline that I'm deeply sorry to have missed, for recapping purposes. Remember how at the end of my last recap, the lesbians had defeated Alistair's thugs, and then Alistair and Beth had disappeared from the piazza in a puff of smoke? Well, of course Luis and Fancy chased after them, and the chase culminated in one of the funniest setups of this whole Rome trip when Alistair arranged for Luis and Fancy to be trapped in an old Roman arena with some hungry lions. There were real lions, but I think it was stock footage because I don't think they were ever shown in the same scene with any of the characters. Beth and Marty ended up in some danger from the lions, too, but no one got eaten, dammit.
For some reason, the whole time Luis and Fancy were running from the lions, Luis had his video cell phone turned on so Sheridan could watch. This really stressed her out - understandably so, I might add. Meanwhile, her secretly evil husband Chris kept trying to get her to turn off the video phone. There was also a scene in which Luis told Sheridan that the Omega Symbol has to do with Alistair, and then we saw Chris leave the room and burn the Omega Symbol so Sheridan wouldn't see that he had it.
Anyway, all the stress of watching Luis and Fancy and Marty almost get eaten by lions triggered Sheridan's premature labor. Now, we're at the hospital, and there's a scene with a character we haven't seen in months. Literally MONTHS. It's Sheridan's mother, Katherine Crane, who looks like her makeup was applied with a trowel. She asks Chris how Sheridan is doing. Enter Pilar, Luis's stratospherically sexy mother, who walks out when she sees her arch-enemy Katherine.
Somebody fire this woman's makeup artist.
We haven't addressed this storyline in forever, so here's a brief recap for the 90 percent of you who don't actually watch this show. Pilar's husband, Martin Fitzgerald, disappeared many years ago and left her to raise their five young children alone. Around the same time, Sheridan's mother, Katherine, died, leaving little Sheridan and much-older Julian to be raised by their sociopathic father. A couple of years ago, we found out that not only were Katherine and Martin both alive, they were happily shacked up together in Mexico. Martin had whisked Katherine away from Harmony because she was in serious danger of being killed by Alistair, who was a big fan of both wife-beating and marital rape. Martin and Katherine had to go completely underground, including facial plastic surgery, because the consequences would be so dire if Alistair ever found out they were alive.
However, now Martin and Katherine are both back, and have been back for quite a while, and Alistair hasn't killed either of them. Go figure. Anyway, Pilar carried a torch for Martin the whole time he was gone, and he never stopped loving her either. He never wanted to leave Pilar at all; he had to, to save Katherine's life. Eventually, though, he did fall in love with Katherine, so now he's torn. Earlier this year, Martin and Pilar were supposed to renew their vows, but at the last minute, Pilar found out that Martin had indulged in a little farewell roll in the hay with Katherine, so she called it off, and now there is much bitterness and tension. Or at least, I assume there is - as I said, we haven't seen these characters in aeons.
So Martin is already married to the chick on the left, but he can't quit cheating on her with the one on the right. REALLY?
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Comments (5)
I just love to hate, and make fun of this show. It provides more entertainment and comedy than any sitcom, ever!
A lot of the actors on this show look like animals, for example:
Theresa - Monkey
Katherine - Goat
Noah - Horse
I find it hard to believe that Martin had actual sex with that old goat Katherine. She's at least 65 and Martin is supposed to be mid 40s. A few months back, goat woman showed up at Martin's naked. How scary would that be?
This show should be on Prime Time!
KH
1 of 5 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on July 19, 2006 1:58 PM
Eve was the one that insisted that Theresa was pregnant with Julian's child. Theresa told her that she'd had sex with Ethan and believed that Ethan was the father but Eve the DOCTOR told her that because she was on the pill it was Julian's. Both Theresa and Ethan questioned Eve about it but she insisted that the baby couldn't be Ethan's.
Dumb all round.
2 of 5 | Posted by Jyoti
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Posted on July 19, 2006 2:01 PM
Hahahahahaha
the comment about the passions actors looking like animals totally reminded me that me and my sisters used to say the same thing! Sam is a dinosaur...maybe that doesn't really qualify as an animal but still, and if anyone used to watch the show and remembers charity...she totally looked like a mouse.
nice recap, the part about God saying, "yeah you guys are still gross" actually made me laugh out loud, great job
3 of 5 | Posted by Katella
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Posted on July 19, 2006 6:31 PM
Yay - finally a recap! :)
Theresa has a daughter as well?? Wow, I've been away from this show longer than I thought. Who fathered the daughter? And why do Gwen and Ethan have her?
4 of 5 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on July 20, 2006 5:50 AM
This:
followed by this caption:is too funny for words. Great recap!
5 of 5 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on July 20, 2006 6:14 AM