Just then, Spike walks into the café. He overhears Chris gushing about how happy James is with Sheridan as his stepmom. Spike mutters to himself about how James is not even really Chris's kid. Chris says that he also wants to get a job in his old field, which is apparently accounting. Sheridan asks if he's even allowed to work in accounting, after his past in the mob and the Witness Protection Program. Ha! He says he is allowed, as long as he behaves himself. Wow, what stringent probation conditions. Sheridan says she will get him an accounting job at Crane.
Back at the police station, Sam reminds Luis that he is not allowed to play vigilante and he shouldn't even be talking like that. Luis begs not to be taken off the case. Sam says he understands about wishing you could take the law into your own hands, what with everything Spike has done to Jessica, drugging her and turning her into a hooker and all. Luis says that Spike remains his prime suspect in Pilar's shooting, despite the alibi Chris gave him. Then there is a lame turn of events where it turns out that Fancy wrote Luis's police report for him. Wow, that seems really unethical on top of everything else.
Theresa gives Jared the details of the job offer. Apparently Jared has both his J.D. and his M.B.A. Wow, that's surprising, for someone who is so prejudiced against rich people. Jared asks for even more money. Again - not understanding how this reconciles with his much-pronounced hatred of all things wealth-related, not to mention his professed hatred of female bosses. Just as Jared is about to sign the contract, he finds out that Theresa previously offered this same job to Ethan. This makes him feel all squicky and he wants to know if she's trying to make him into her own personal Ethan Two. She promises that she isn't. He decides to believe her and she immediately gives him his first work assignment.
Let me show you my briefs, baby.
Speaking of Ethan, he's just shown up at Pilar's bedside in the hospital. She's unconscious at first, but she comes out of it when she hears Ethan's voice. She wants to talk to him about her new evil agenda. You see, for years and years, Pilar was constantly lecturing Theresa to respect Ethan and Gwen's marriage. But a couple of weeks ago, she totally changed her tune and now she wants Theresa to bust that marriage into teeny little pieces.
Why the change, you ask? Well, it has to do with the fact that Pilar was faithful to her missing husband Martin for 30-plus years, yet he still ditched her for Katherine Crane. But wait, you say. Wouldn't this make Pilar even MORE hung up on the sanctity of marriage, instead of moving her into the PRO-divorce camp? You'd think so, but instead she seems to have fixated on the concept that everyone should stay with the mother/father of their children. No word on what you're supposed to do if you have kids by more than one person. Anyway, Pilar tells Ethan that he should leave Gwen so that he can be with Theresa, Little Ethan, and Jane. (Earlier in the week, she told Miguel that he should be with Kay and Maria. At least she's consistent.)
Sheridan is all excited about the idea of her and Chris both working at Crane, but Chris doesn't like the idea of working for his wife's family. Sheridan thinks this is just great because it proves that Chris doesn't care about her family's money. Suddenly Gwen shows up and joins them at their table. The actress's pregnancy is totally visible. The show has got to be pissed that their efforts to hide it are failing this early on. It's because she's such a tiny person generally. Just then, Chris gets a text message from Spike telling him to meet him "behind the bookshelves." Yeah, nobody will ever notice that. Chris walks away, and Gwen vents to Sheridan about Ethan's fixation on Theresa.
So, when are you due? I mean, uh....
Ethan is a bit startled by Pilar's sudden instruction that he should leave his wife. He's even more startled when she goes on to tell him that Little Ethan is his son. But then she covers and says that she just meant that Ethan is like a father to L.E. Pilar starts to get really agitated and wheezy, which freaks Ethan out. She easily extracts a promise that Ethan will think about what she's said. Ethan leaves and then Pilar prays to be forgiven for her marriage-busting activities.
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Comments (8)
The only good thing about the Salsa2: Lancy scene is that they used Pink Martini for the score. Smile.
1 of 8 | Posted by jennae
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Posted on August 28, 2006 7:59 PM
welcome back. Your recaps and the theresa/ethan role reversal, has made me start watching the show again.
Did I just admit that?
2 of 8 | Posted by nflow
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Posted on August 28, 2006 10:13 PM
I loved the scenes with Spike running away through the forest on the Crane estate. He makes the show. "Feet don't fail me now."
3 of 8 | Posted by tikilights
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Posted on August 29, 2006 12:57 AM
Thanks for the recap, Amanda!
-tikilights;
I loved that too! Especially when Spike ran into Sheridan and Chris in the Crane 'forest' after the shooting and he told them "Look over there!" and they glanced to what he was pointing to and he totally got away from them! God, that show is so nuts. It cracks me up.
4 of 8 | Posted by stacyrocks
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Posted on August 29, 2006 10:28 AM
I never know where to begin with my response. I will say that Fox has gotten hotter and is making me all squishy along with Miguel, Luis and sometimes Ethan.
Oh, and Theresa still looks like a big eyed slack jawed monkey.
I did enjoy the tango scenes, reminds me of the early days of Passions....Timmy, Charity, Grace...
KH
5 of 8 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on August 29, 2006 2:49 PM
what a hilarious recap. if I hadn't been involved in the production of the show, I'd have never believed such programming was possible! Hilarious, now I will be addicted to your recap of our show. No press is worse than bad press...
Yummy yummy yummy! I also like reading the comments from folks who watch our beloved show. We enjoy the plots immensely and can not believe you think they are campy or abusurd!
6 of 8 | Posted by phideaux
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Posted on August 29, 2006 3:42 PM
I caught an ep last week while home sick and remembered this comment:
Well, you can add "the county fair" to that list.
7 of 8 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on August 30, 2006 7:38 AM
Great recap as usual. Screw the Emmys, this show is hands down the best comedy on television.
8 of 8 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on September 1, 2006 5:55 PM