Gah - two weeks of Passions in one recap again. Unfortunately, everybody has now come back from Rome, and so the action has slowed way down. Don't worry, though - it's still extra dumb! We still have mermaids, amnesia, and lesbians, even if none of them is as active as we might wish. We've also added a stroke victim, a tee-ball extravaganza, and a bunch of intrepid blind people. I only wish we had an evil monk or a world-destroying chalice, but we'll have to wait for the next sweeps period for anything else like that.
We open Friday's show at Harmony Hospital, which we know from the tasteful exterior shot. The patient du jour is T.C., who, you may remember, had a self-inflicted drunk-driving wreck a couple of weeks back. Since then, Eve has been dutifully by his bedside, putting a real strain on her relationship with Julian. Still, Julian decided to be a nice guy and fly Whitney and Simone back from Rome to be with their dad. T.C. ended up having a stroke after the accident and now he talks all impaired-like.
This shot ate up 80 percent of the show's budget for the month.
Now Eve, Simone, and Julian are at the hospital to take T.C. home. Incidentally, a few days ago, T.C. apologized to Simone for being so mean about her being a lesbian and all. Eve also took new steps toward tolerance by being nice to Simone's girlfriend Rae when they all ran into each other at the Blue Note. (I thought Simone was single and looking for a new woman in Rome, but whatever.)
Eve, Simone, and Julian all mutter to each other about how they have to make sure that T.C. doesn't know that the Cranes are going to be helping with his recovery, because he hates them pesky Cranes. They also talk about how T.C. is going to need a ton of help back at home. Julian reminds Eve that tonight is the Habitat for Humanity charity ball (nice shout-out - is this an official tie-in?), and Eve of course says she can't go because she has to take care of T.C. I would guess this will be starting a big ol' trend in Eve and Julian's social life.
Cut to Kay and Fox, who are at Little Ethan's tee-ball game. Now, a lot has happened with Kay's storyline over the past couple of weeks. To be specific, Kay and Miguel totally did it!! Remember, Kay has this stupid pseudo-amnesia that makes her think that she's engaged to Miguel, not Fox. Everybody has been trying not to disrupt her delicate brain waves by telling her the truth - she's supposed to remember it on her own. So she spent days and days trying to get into Miguel's pants, with him trying kinda-sorta hard to keep her out of there. Fox was very upset by this. Siren was upset for about two seconds, but then she decided she wants Fox now instead of Miguel.
Wait a minute. Why the hell am I at a tee-ball game?
So, Kay and Miguel went away for a romantic weekend. Miguel promised Fox that he wouldn't screw Kay on this trip, but he didn't bargain for Kay slipping him some sort of love potion - she didn't really mean any harm; she was just trying to juice up what she believed to be her "tired" fiancé. So Kay and Miguel had sex on the beach. There was some wackiness when Fox and Siren both went after them, and Siren washed up on the beach nearby with her full-on mermaid tail. Some blind people (yeah, that's right) stumbled on Siren, felt her tail, and thought she was a big fish. Then they went and found a post-coital Kay and Miguel to ask them for help getting the fish back into the water. Kay and Miguel were relieved when they realized that the only people who "saw" them naked on the beach were blind people.
None of this idiocy turned out to matter, because Fox arrived soon enough and it was totally obvious that Kay and Miguel had done the deed. Strangely, Fox didn't seem to care that much. I mean, he was upset, but really no more so than before, when he was just bugged by Kay not remembering him as her fiancé. Anyway, Fox still wants Kay back, and everyone is still playing the "we can't tell the truth" game. The only really significant development is that Miguel seems to have realized that he still has true feelings for Kay, and so he and Siren have pretty much mutually kicked each other to the curb.
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Comments (5)
I really love these recaps you do on Passions. Keep up the good work!
1 of 5 | Posted by Heidi's Ass
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Posted on August 3, 2006 10:33 AM
These Passions recaps are hilarious. I haven't watched the show in about 2 years (pretty much when Sheridan escaped the "pit" where she was tortured for about 7 months) but the recaps are probably better than the real show! Love them, keep em coming :)
2 of 5 | Posted by lipstickvogue
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Posted on August 3, 2006 12:21 PM
You are pretty close on the recap of how Theresa had Jane and lost custody. She did chloroform the the surrogate and become implanted herself. However, then she had some bleeding and believed she lost the baby. She thought the only way she could get Little Ethan back from Gwen was to trade their baby for him so she put on a blonde wig and Gwen's "signature" perfume and drugged Ethan and slept with him. Turns out she never lost the baby but in a medical mystery she was ovulating even though she was preggo with Gwen and Ethan's baby and she got knocked up by him herself. Sooo turns out Theresa is carrying twins... THEN Theresa gets sick and they determine that she cannot carry twins to term for some reason and she'll either have to risk having both and losing both or even her own life or sacrifice one baby to save the other. First, Theresa thinks that she'll do no such thing becuase they're BOTH hers and she is against abortion. Then she realizes one could be Gwen's and one could be hers and so she decides she just wants to keep the one that is hers - seriously people, she's a saint, huh? SOOO Theresa decides to risk it, and if I'm not mistaken there was a point when she tried to determine which fetus belonged to which mother, but I'm fairly sure she then just took a risk hoping she got rid of Gwen's kid... Anyway, Gwen thought Theresa actually just went along with her request to abort one of Gwen's kids and then in the end the baby was born and Theresa yelled "It's mine!" Then, Gwen went crazy and tried to kill Theresa (something about some drugs she was on making her psychotic) and then Theresa opted to press charges, Gwen got off becuase of the crazy drugs defense, and then Gwen and Ethan decided to take custody of Jane. Because, you know, she was better off with the crazy woman who tried to kill her biological mom - but whatev! And there we have the saga of Jane...
3 of 5 | Posted by JaxMcG
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Posted on August 3, 2006 12:21 PM
...this is the first time I've heard this about Theresa and Kay. This is the first I'd heard of Theresa doing anything but wanting to be a designer or fashion magnate, but Kay is ALWAYS talking about her and Miguel "won the championship" and other memorials from their days in High School Softball/Baseball.....whatever. Like any of them weigh enough to hold a bat, much less swing it hard enough to get the ball anywhere.
4 of 5 | Posted by jennae
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Posted on August 3, 2006 6:39 PM
Another excellent recap. Crap, I can't believe that I missed Ethan shirtless. Thanks for the Passions fix.
5 of 5 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on August 5, 2006 4:42 PM