Gwen tells Ethan that she sees sparks between Theresa and Jared (who just happens to be oily and shirtless). Ethan disagrees; he says Theresa doesn't like Jared and will avoid him like the plague. Theresa proves Gwen right by flouncing over to Jared, who is chatting with Whitney and Chad. Whitney drags Theresa aside to tell her to stop being a bitch to Jared, because Theresa needs a man and has already run through virtually every other man in Harmony. It's funny, I thought Passions was starting to pimp Theresa and Noah as a new potential couple, but they seem to be going this Jared route instead. Maybe it's a triangle.
Julian and Eve have a boring conversation at the hospital. They have a wacky misunderstanding where Julian thinks Eve is dumping him, but she really just meant she was going home with T.C. temporarily. Oh, that pesky English language with its many ambiguities. T.C. wakes up and slurs the single word "home." Julian looks worried.
This stroke storyline would be perfect for T.C.'s Emmy reel - if he were on any other show.
Luis and Sheridan have some really awkward conversation about how they're coping, and the fact that Luis is wearing his police suit for the first time in forever. I'm sorry, but this is really offensive. Again, I could maybe see somebody deciding to get out of the house a couple of days after a miscarriage, but I think that usually when someone's FOUR-YEAR-OLD SON IS KILLED IN AN EXPLOSION, they experience more than some momentary depression. Luis and Sheridan are bouncing back just a little too well. Not to mention that virtually every other person at this tee-ball game is related to one or both of them. Are these people even going to have a funeral for Marty? Or is this the Marty Lopez-Fitzgerald Memorial Tee-Ball Game? What about Little Ethan (Marty's cousin) and James (Marty's stepbrother)? Shouldn't they be at least borderline traumatized?
Ahem. Chris ups the awkwardness ante even further when he asks if Luis and Fancy are on a date. Luis says no way, and then shows them that, in fact, they're together because Fancy is under arrest. She is stylishly handcuffed under her sweater, because Luis discovered that she had a crapload of unpaid speeding and/or parking tickets and/or outstanding warrants, and so he had no choice but to arrest her. And then he didn't feel like missing the tee-ball game, so he brought her there all shackled up. Oh, puh-leeze. Sheridan makes a face that suggests she finds this just as contrived as I do, but then we see that she's actually remembering a time when sexy Officer Luis pulled her over for sexily speeding herself. Okay, I've been pulled over lots of times and nothing remotely sexy has ever happened to me as a result. What am I doing wrong?
Oh, you can't hide from the long arm of the law, missy.
Theresa yells at Jared some more. It turns out that they're having a wacky romantic misunderstanding, because he doesn't know who she is, and so he made some negative comment about female bosses. He thinks she's just yelling back because she's mad at him for being sexist; he doesn't know that she's the head of Crane Industries. Chad and Whitney just keep their mouths shut. By the way, why does Alistair keep letting Theresa become the head of Crane Industries whenever he dies or is incapacitated? In light of the fact that Theresa openly hates his guts, you'd think there would be someone else on the planet whom he'd rather have as his heir. Maybe someone from his Evil Omega Symbol Society?
Theresa yells about how she personally knows a female boss who "runs a huge conglomerate with fairness and compassion for all her employees, and she's selfless, she's hard-working, and she's constantly thinking of all the little people." At this point, Whitney cuts in to say, "Oh, yeah, I know exactly who you're talking about, and she's modest, too." Ha! I should mention that Theresa has been wearing a Bluetooth headset or something throughout this episode, and she could hardly look more stupid if she tried.
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Comments (5)
I really love these recaps you do on Passions. Keep up the good work!
1 of 5 | Posted by Heidi's Ass
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Posted on August 3, 2006 10:33 AM
These Passions recaps are hilarious. I haven't watched the show in about 2 years (pretty much when Sheridan escaped the "pit" where she was tortured for about 7 months) but the recaps are probably better than the real show! Love them, keep em coming :)
2 of 5 | Posted by lipstickvogue
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Posted on August 3, 2006 12:21 PM
You are pretty close on the recap of how Theresa had Jane and lost custody. She did chloroform the the surrogate and become implanted herself. However, then she had some bleeding and believed she lost the baby. She thought the only way she could get Little Ethan back from Gwen was to trade their baby for him so she put on a blonde wig and Gwen's "signature" perfume and drugged Ethan and slept with him. Turns out she never lost the baby but in a medical mystery she was ovulating even though she was preggo with Gwen and Ethan's baby and she got knocked up by him herself. Sooo turns out Theresa is carrying twins... THEN Theresa gets sick and they determine that she cannot carry twins to term for some reason and she'll either have to risk having both and losing both or even her own life or sacrifice one baby to save the other. First, Theresa thinks that she'll do no such thing becuase they're BOTH hers and she is against abortion. Then she realizes one could be Gwen's and one could be hers and so she decides she just wants to keep the one that is hers - seriously people, she's a saint, huh? SOOO Theresa decides to risk it, and if I'm not mistaken there was a point when she tried to determine which fetus belonged to which mother, but I'm fairly sure she then just took a risk hoping she got rid of Gwen's kid... Anyway, Gwen thought Theresa actually just went along with her request to abort one of Gwen's kids and then in the end the baby was born and Theresa yelled "It's mine!" Then, Gwen went crazy and tried to kill Theresa (something about some drugs she was on making her psychotic) and then Theresa opted to press charges, Gwen got off becuase of the crazy drugs defense, and then Gwen and Ethan decided to take custody of Jane. Because, you know, she was better off with the crazy woman who tried to kill her biological mom - but whatev! And there we have the saga of Jane...
3 of 5 | Posted by JaxMcG
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Posted on August 3, 2006 12:21 PM
...this is the first time I've heard this about Theresa and Kay. This is the first I'd heard of Theresa doing anything but wanting to be a designer or fashion magnate, but Kay is ALWAYS talking about her and Miguel "won the championship" and other memorials from their days in High School Softball/Baseball.....whatever. Like any of them weigh enough to hold a bat, much less swing it hard enough to get the ball anywhere.
4 of 5 | Posted by jennae
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Posted on August 3, 2006 6:39 PM
Another excellent recap. Crap, I can't believe that I missed Ethan shirtless. Thanks for the Passions fix.
5 of 5 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on August 5, 2006 4:42 PM