Jared says that he's sure that there are some good female bosses out there, but the ones he's known have been cold and heartless. Well, you can hardly fault someone for saying that, if they clarify that they're only talking about their own experiences! Jeez. But then Jared goes on to become a lot more offensive as he issues his recommendation that said female bosses should "stay true to what's important," such as "family and children." Uh-oh. Theresa looks distressed. I think the Bluetooth headset is supposed to signify that she's working on some important deal while simultaneously attending her son's baseball game. We see Little Ethan run off the field and hug Ethan and Gwen, while Theresa thinks out loud inside her head about her fear that without custody of her kids, she could turn into the type of heartless bitch Jared is talking about.
Wow, Jared sure is a sexist jerk for not guessing that this moron in the headset is the CEO of a huge multinational.
Somebody asked in last week's comments about how Theresa came to have, and then lose custody of, her daughter Jane. Here is a very brief summary, which y'all should correct if I get anything wrong. Ethan and Gwen were trying to have a baby through a surrogate (using Gwen's egg). Theresa pulled some Sami-Brady-style hospital shenanigans, chloroformed the surrogate, filled in for her, and managed to get herself implanted with Ethan and Gwen's embryo. Around the same time, she somehow got Ethan to sleep with her and she got simultaneously pregnant. So she was carrying twins; both were Ethan's; one was her own and one was Gwen's. Then she miscarried one twin, but she carried the other to term. Jane became probably the first baby in history to require a MA-ternity test, and she turned out to be Theresa's baby. Gwen was understandably feeling very vindictive about the whole thing, and so she and Rebecca somehow got Theresa declared unfit and they took the baby. The End.
Kay is still having weird feelings and visions, and Fox is still hoping that Kay is going to remember her love for him. Miguel reminds Fox that if he pushes Kay to remember, it may damage her psyche permanently. Miguel and Fox have a bit of a pissing contest over Kay. Seems like this one should really be no contest - Miguel is the one she wants! She's made that perfectly clear. Siren has completely switched teams, and she now doesn't want Kay to remember Fox; she's lost all interest in Miguel and now unequivocally wants Fox for herself. Siren says (out loud inside her head) that if Kay starts to remember, she will just whack her over the head with a bat again.
Give a mermaid a fish, and she will eat for a day. Give her a baseball bat, and ... um, I'm not sure exactly.
Fox tries to jog Kay's memory by reminding her of a time when the two of them were getting it on in a box at Fenway Park (ew) and Julian walked in on them (ew, ew). This doesn't count as illegally jogging Kay's memory, because he's telling the story without mentioning Kay's actual name - he's just saying "my girlfriend." Kay doesn't remember anything; instead, she asks Fox if she can use the "Crane box" to take Miguel to a Red Sox game. Miguel is way too happy about this idea. He is really taking this "pretend to be Kay's boyfriend" assignment obnoxiously far, but Fox is such a wuss that nothing happens, even when Kay jokes that when she and Miguel are having sex in the "Crane box," she'll remember to lock the door. God, why does everyone want to have sex at Fenway? That strikes me as really unsanitary.
Jared tells Theresa that he's sure that if she ever became a high-powered executive herself, she would be the good kind, who remembers to put her kids and the man she loves ahead of her job. She says that she definitely would. Jared then speculates that Theresa doesn't really have what it takes to become a corporate big shot. Theresa takes offense, which is slightly hypocritical considering that she got her job by entering into a marriage of convenience with the owner of the company, who then even more conveniently died. Finally Chad and Jared walk away and Theresa bitches some more about Jared to Whitney. Then Chad and Whitney flirt and make out, which still disgusts me.
Y'all are still a couple of incestuous freaks.
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Comments (5)
I really love these recaps you do on Passions. Keep up the good work!
1 of 5 | Posted by Heidi's Ass
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Posted on August 3, 2006 10:33 AM
These Passions recaps are hilarious. I haven't watched the show in about 2 years (pretty much when Sheridan escaped the "pit" where she was tortured for about 7 months) but the recaps are probably better than the real show! Love them, keep em coming :)
2 of 5 | Posted by lipstickvogue
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Posted on August 3, 2006 12:21 PM
You are pretty close on the recap of how Theresa had Jane and lost custody. She did chloroform the the surrogate and become implanted herself. However, then she had some bleeding and believed she lost the baby. She thought the only way she could get Little Ethan back from Gwen was to trade their baby for him so she put on a blonde wig and Gwen's "signature" perfume and drugged Ethan and slept with him. Turns out she never lost the baby but in a medical mystery she was ovulating even though she was preggo with Gwen and Ethan's baby and she got knocked up by him herself. Sooo turns out Theresa is carrying twins... THEN Theresa gets sick and they determine that she cannot carry twins to term for some reason and she'll either have to risk having both and losing both or even her own life or sacrifice one baby to save the other. First, Theresa thinks that she'll do no such thing becuase they're BOTH hers and she is against abortion. Then she realizes one could be Gwen's and one could be hers and so she decides she just wants to keep the one that is hers - seriously people, she's a saint, huh? SOOO Theresa decides to risk it, and if I'm not mistaken there was a point when she tried to determine which fetus belonged to which mother, but I'm fairly sure she then just took a risk hoping she got rid of Gwen's kid... Anyway, Gwen thought Theresa actually just went along with her request to abort one of Gwen's kids and then in the end the baby was born and Theresa yelled "It's mine!" Then, Gwen went crazy and tried to kill Theresa (something about some drugs she was on making her psychotic) and then Theresa opted to press charges, Gwen got off becuase of the crazy drugs defense, and then Gwen and Ethan decided to take custody of Jane. Because, you know, she was better off with the crazy woman who tried to kill her biological mom - but whatev! And there we have the saga of Jane...
3 of 5 | Posted by JaxMcG
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Posted on August 3, 2006 12:21 PM
...this is the first time I've heard this about Theresa and Kay. This is the first I'd heard of Theresa doing anything but wanting to be a designer or fashion magnate, but Kay is ALWAYS talking about her and Miguel "won the championship" and other memorials from their days in High School Softball/Baseball.....whatever. Like any of them weigh enough to hold a bat, much less swing it hard enough to get the ball anywhere.
4 of 5 | Posted by jennae
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Posted on August 3, 2006 6:39 PM
Another excellent recap. Crap, I can't believe that I missed Ethan shirtless. Thanks for the Passions fix.
5 of 5 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on August 5, 2006 4:42 PM