Gwen talks smack to Jared about how she, too, is a working mother. Well, actually, not so much, because sometime after everybody came back from Rome, Theresa got Gwen fired. That's okay, though, because the only reason Gwen even had a job at all is because Theresa was being evil before the Rome trip, and she got some guy to hire Gwen and overwork her to put a strain on her marriage to Ethan. The new, improved Theresa is no longer trying to keep Ethan and Gwen apart, so she lifted her mandate that this guy had to employ Gwen, and he then dropped her like a hot potato. Gwen didn't care at all because she hates going to work anyway. Win-win, people.
Miguel and Ethan tell Jared that this baseball game isn't going to be such an easy win, because Theresa, Kay, Siren, and Whitney are all incredible athletes. It's true that Whitney was introduced on this show as a pro tennis player, and Siren can apparently out-swim boats, so I'll buy those two, but this is the first time I've heard this about Theresa and Kay. Also, that was a pretty funny dis-by-omission on Gwen. We see Theresa hurling a baseball and shattering a bottle, at least according to the super-fake cutaway camera shot.
Luis tells Fancy that he wants to move away from Harmony. Without Sheridan or Marty, there's no reason for him to stay, and it's painful for him every time he runs into Sheridan. Fancy tries to talk him out of it. Then he takes a phone call and she talks to herself out loud about how she has to make Luis fall in love with her.
Back at the ballpark, the guys are all shirtless and the women are in some sort of red uniforms that they apparently all pulled out of their purses. Chad and Jared both try to weasel out of the game, but the women call them chicken. The five players we knew about on each team have been joined by some random extras to flesh out the fielding positions. Theresa and Jared bet a lobster dinner on the outcome of the game. The ump complains that he doesn't want to be there all night. Um, how did this ump get roped into this at all? I'm pretty sure he's allowed to leave whenever he wants. Theresa pitches, Whitney catches, Jared swings and misses. That all sounded much dirtier than it actually was.
We figured these random strangers would be delighted to participate in our idiotic grudge match.
On the second pitch, Jared lines the ball right into Theresa's head. So much for the game. Ethan goes rushing over to Theresa, much to Gwen's irritation. And that's our big cliffhanger for the week. Man, this show has really gone into the tank. A few weeks ago it was "Will Alistair use the chalice to take over the entire world?" And now, it's "Will Theresa wake up after getting hit in the head with a baseball?" I don't know about y'all, but I'm on the edge of my seat.
Previews: Fancy puts the moves on Luis inside a jail cell. Gwen accuses Ethan of not being over Theresa. The baseball game resumes.
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Comments (5)
I really love these recaps you do on Passions. Keep up the good work!
1 of 5 | Posted by Heidi's Ass
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Posted on August 3, 2006 10:33 AM
These Passions recaps are hilarious. I haven't watched the show in about 2 years (pretty much when Sheridan escaped the "pit" where she was tortured for about 7 months) but the recaps are probably better than the real show! Love them, keep em coming :)
2 of 5 | Posted by lipstickvogue
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Posted on August 3, 2006 12:21 PM
You are pretty close on the recap of how Theresa had Jane and lost custody. She did chloroform the the surrogate and become implanted herself. However, then she had some bleeding and believed she lost the baby. She thought the only way she could get Little Ethan back from Gwen was to trade their baby for him so she put on a blonde wig and Gwen's "signature" perfume and drugged Ethan and slept with him. Turns out she never lost the baby but in a medical mystery she was ovulating even though she was preggo with Gwen and Ethan's baby and she got knocked up by him herself. Sooo turns out Theresa is carrying twins... THEN Theresa gets sick and they determine that she cannot carry twins to term for some reason and she'll either have to risk having both and losing both or even her own life or sacrifice one baby to save the other. First, Theresa thinks that she'll do no such thing becuase they're BOTH hers and she is against abortion. Then she realizes one could be Gwen's and one could be hers and so she decides she just wants to keep the one that is hers - seriously people, she's a saint, huh? SOOO Theresa decides to risk it, and if I'm not mistaken there was a point when she tried to determine which fetus belonged to which mother, but I'm fairly sure she then just took a risk hoping she got rid of Gwen's kid... Anyway, Gwen thought Theresa actually just went along with her request to abort one of Gwen's kids and then in the end the baby was born and Theresa yelled "It's mine!" Then, Gwen went crazy and tried to kill Theresa (something about some drugs she was on making her psychotic) and then Theresa opted to press charges, Gwen got off becuase of the crazy drugs defense, and then Gwen and Ethan decided to take custody of Jane. Because, you know, she was better off with the crazy woman who tried to kill her biological mom - but whatev! And there we have the saga of Jane...
3 of 5 | Posted by JaxMcG
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Posted on August 3, 2006 12:21 PM
...this is the first time I've heard this about Theresa and Kay. This is the first I'd heard of Theresa doing anything but wanting to be a designer or fashion magnate, but Kay is ALWAYS talking about her and Miguel "won the championship" and other memorials from their days in High School Softball/Baseball.....whatever. Like any of them weigh enough to hold a bat, much less swing it hard enough to get the ball anywhere.
4 of 5 | Posted by jennae
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Posted on August 3, 2006 6:39 PM
Another excellent recap. Crap, I can't believe that I missed Ethan shirtless. Thanks for the Passions fix.
5 of 5 | Posted by bdos88
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Posted on August 5, 2006 4:42 PM