Jared tells Theresa his tale of woe. He met this woman "in Provence on holiday." Her name was, get this, Arabella. Theresa says, incorrectly, that that is a beautiful name. (My apologies if that happens to be your name. It always just makes me think of the Arable family in Charlotte's Web.) Jared says that he and Arabella lived in Paris together, stayed in bed all the time, and ate a lot of dark chocolate. Wow, these little details just make the whole thing seem so unbelievably real, don't they? Theresa is completely rude; she hijacks the story and makes it all about her and Ethan and how they should have had a life like that too.
Sheridan comes back from her extremely lengthy checking on James and is horrified to learn that Chris doesn't want Luis to call a doctor or the police station. Chris explains his whole theory about how reporting this shooting is going to bring the press down upon them like a pack of hungry jackals. They all agree that Chris will go to bed and Luis will go renegade and investigate the shooting on his own. Nice job getting the short end of that stick, Luis.
Miguel tells Paloma not to let Roberto get away if she really loves him. He admits that when he thinks of his own lost love, he now thinks of Kay, not Charity. He was wrong to leave Kay and Maria to go looking for Charity in the first place. Paloma says that Miguel should tell Kay how he feels, but he says it won't do any good because Kay is in love with Fox. Paloma pushes him and finally sells him on the idea.
Kay is losing her shit a little bit, yelling at Siren that once she's in bed with Fox, he won't be able to resist her. Tabitha for some reason decides that now is the moment to cover Endora's ears. Oh, suddenly now the subject matter is too adult for Endora? But for the last several months, when they've been talking about the Mermaid's Curse, and how mermaids are such whores, and Kay giving Miguel a lust potion - that was all fine for Endora to listen to. Whatever. Siren tells Kay to go right ahead and hop into bed with Fox, but she'd better bring a good book, because she's going to be awfully bored. Tabitha confirms that Siren is telling the truth about the Curse.
Notice how they keep Endora quiet during her scenes nowadays!
Jared tells Theresa that he "lost" Arabella, but he doesn't say how. Theresa makes it all about her again and assumes that he lost her the same way that she lost Ethan. She tells Jared that she believes in true love, and she's going to find Arabella for him. He tells her that that's impossible. Theresa gets all hyped up and out of control about her great idea, and Jared takes about a zillion years to drop the obvious bombshell that Arabella is dead. When he says this, we get scary music, which makes me think that her death (or "death") is going to be a major plot point eventually.
Luis tells Sheridan that he just called Crane Security, and they have no record of any intruders on her property tonight. She says that's typical, because Crane Security sucks, but Luis says that they have a "new system." There are electronic sensors everywhere and there's no way for anyone to enter or leave without it being recorded. Now, I don't understand what's going on here - isn't Spike an intruder who would have triggered the security system? Chris didn't let him in; we saw what happened, and Chris was quite displeased to see Spike on his doorstep. So maybe Chris is paying off Crane Security to say that no one was there?
Luis says that he thinks it's weird that Chris doesn't want this reported, and he asks Sheridan what she really knows about Chris, anyway. She gets a little huffy, but not really as much as she should, given the question. She tells him that Chris is from South Africa, lived in Chicago, and was married to a woman named Maureen. Chris and Maureen separated; Maureen moved to Harmony with James, and then Maureen was tragically killed in the Harmony tsunami. Yes, I said the Harmony tsunami. What?
I'm not sure why FauxSheridan is dressed as Donna Reed today. But note the ever-present living-room crystal liquor decanters in the foreground.
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Comments (9)
"God, I HATE it when I get amnesia and accidentally sleep with my babydaddy, and then in the meantime, my boyfriend gets seduced by a mermaid. That is so freaking ANNOYING."
One of the funniest captions EVER.
1 of 9 | Posted by B-Side
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Posted on August 7, 2006 8:02 PM
2 of 9 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on August 8, 2006 4:16 AM
Just when I thought it couldn't get any better: the Harmony tsunami!!! You gotta tell us about this!!!
3 of 9 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on August 8, 2006 5:36 AM
I'm lame and started recording all the episodes. This show is just so horrendously bad, I couldn't help not watch.
I need to mention how Kay, Tabitha, Endora, Fox, Miguel, Jessica, Spike, Sam and Ivy all live in one house together. Didn't Tabitha's house magically rebuild itself a few weeks ago after a fire burned it down, yet she still hasn't moved back? The budget strikes back.
I'm also always laughing at the gratuitous shots of the whole male cast always going around shirtless no matter where they are: restaurants, little kid's teeball games, jail.
And Ethan is dull dull dull. He used to be somewhat interesting, now he's just a jealous tool.
4 of 9 | Posted by tikilights
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Posted on August 8, 2006 10:59 AM
Thanks for reading, y'all. I just want to respond to the comment above about everybody all living in one house. They *did* all live in one house for a day or two, and I thought the same thing as you - that the show had eliminated the second house to save on the budget. But then Endora conjured some cartoon worker bees to rebuild Tabby's house after the fire, and now they live in two separate houses (next door) again.
As for the tsunami - I don't remember it all that well, but I will try to post something about it in my next recap!
5 of 9 | Posted by Amanda
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Posted on August 8, 2006 11:32 AM
tikilights- I also get a kick out of the guys running around without their shirts. You should check out www.myspace.com/nbcdaytime for some nice pics of the guys. Unfortunately they're wearing shirts.
Amanda- I have a suggestion. Why not do a guys not wearing a shirt count with each weeks post? I think that would be pretty funny.
6 of 9 | Posted by Rachey
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Posted on August 8, 2006 11:52 AM
It was a tsunami and an earthquake! It was accidently caused by Endora. No one important died, and nothing really changed any of the story lines, Simone returned as a lesbian, Chris appeared to find his kid, and Sheridan had a job running the Harmony Bed & Breakfast. It was classic Passions overall though.
In one funny scene, that old battleaxe Katherine was drowning, and she jumped onto a coffin that was floating by, which happened to be the coffin of her presumed dead sister. The coffin opened up in Pilar's living room, with a skeleton wearing a necklace! Later, we discovered she (Rachel) was not dead.
KH
7 of 9 | Posted by KatiesHole
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Posted on August 8, 2006 4:41 PM
The tsunami plot really was classic Passions. I mean it doesn't beat Ivy and Sam's house getting sucked into hell but it was pretty great.
My personal favorite scene of the Tsunami was when (and correct me if I'm wrong) Edna, Beth's crazy mom, "surfed" her way to safety on some sign that she saw floating by... At that point Edna had a young body that she'd made Tabitha give her when she found out that Tabby and Endora were witches. Seriously, the sight of the woman who normally wears adult diapers and talks about it surfing her way to safety during a Tsunami was priceless... makes every crappy episode last week totally worth it.
8 of 9 | Posted by JaxMcG
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Posted on August 9, 2006 6:35 AM
Worker bees rebuilt their house? Huh?
9 of 9 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on August 11, 2006 10:22 AM