TVgasm Recaps

Does this man:
a) Live for Ren Fests?
b) Consider Hot Topic's 1998 winter catalogue to be the last word in fashion?
c) Make Liberace look butch?
d) Teach thousands of men how to get laid and get more ass than the proverbial toilet seat?

After the jump, people:

Lighing yourself on fire: the new way to game chicks.

We're back! The boys are lookin' good, feelin' good, ready to learn some material to take to the field! They are so close a random hook up they can taste it. I know you've been waiting for this recap all week and it's true I've been making you wait for it and want it more, gaming you all like hot chicks in a club. You are all hot chicks to me in my Pick Up Artist world. Let's get laid.

What are we, chopped liver?

I know, I know. A week without me. And we're already down to the final six! Are we really picking them off this quickly? I feel like we were just getting started on crazy adventure to find lust (with girls) and love (with men). This week the men attempt to make physical contact with the women which may or may not be legal in most states. But let's get back to the important things in life: The Pick Up Artist 2.

Feels so right when we hug real tight.

EEEeeeeeEEE! That's me making dolphin noises I'm so excited that it's that time again. Pick-up Artist time! Since I last spoke with you all I went to my hometown of Atlanta, unsuccessfully stalked the Housewives and lined up a party this weekend with Mystery and cast. It's been a busy week in reality and it's good to be back in the field.

Let's just rename this show now: Dick Up Artist, anyone?

This was the freeze frame we settled on to leave on the TV after the Pick Up Artist viewing party last Sunday, which means it's no longer debatable: This is the gayest hour on television, people. Look at this love, this satisfaction. It's a moving spectacle. But at least for now, they're still pretending to hit on girls and care about it, so we're here for yet another delightful week of kino escalation and IOIs. Let's get started.

The friends are here! New boys to makeover and humiliate! And we are just one week out from the exciting conclusion of The Pick Up Artist! Doesn't it feel like we just got here? I'm just not ready to say good-bye.

Let's make this last forever.

And now the moment we've all been waiting for: when two men come together in the competitive spirit of sportsmanship only to learn that they love each other best.

Friendship: the real prize.

I am sad to announce that this is the season finale of The Pick Up Artist. Let's embrace and be each other's best friends in the world to help us make it through the withdrawal that surely awaits us.