Testimonials

Next up is Friend Todd and he opens a set about the Montel Williams show, negs her on an allegedly wiggling nose and flashes a truly charming smile. Oh, man, I never noticed those pearly whites. He's a DOLL. Then he lays down the false time constraint and remains calm, cool and collected throughout the exchange. You'd think he's the actual ringer but then we see the target.

I mean, come on. He didn't pick one of the model-from-an-episode-of-Entourage lookalikes running around.

Of course this earns him a compliment on his earring, a glass of champagne and a toast. Well played, Todd. Well played.

The original ringer comes in with an opener that's more like the most boring monologue you've ever heard. Oh, sweetcheeks, you gotta help me out here. I'm rooting for you.

Ouch. He tries again elsewhere with the tattoo line which takes flight quickly with one girl, but the friend isn't involved in the discussion, and the friend is the one you have to get involved or she'll execute her veto power real fast and you'll be out. She doesn't have to though because he exits the conversation of his own accord. I do get it. When I have to leave a scene, it's physically painful for me to remain in a place a moment longer. Physically.

(28 year old) Virgin comes in and gives mad love to the whole place. I'm impressed. He opens a four set and speaks to the guy first. Always a good play. And wow, he is on fire! At one point one girl blows him off, and it was genuinely kinda c*nty. It wasn't his fault.

Osama Bin Sexy comes in with his own charming smile and when he tries to open the set gets told to f*ck off by the dude. Man,what's up with the assholes here? I at least give a fake, condescending smile. Mystery blames it on his high energy, but this could appeal to some girls who think he may be coming bearing narcotics. You'd be surprised.

He tries the spells question on this group and it goes over like a basket weaving lecture.

I liked it way better when Neil Strauss did it back in 2003.

Okay, these girls are plants and/or know they're on Vh1. It's getting gratuitous.

Mystery and Tara come to the defense of their little ones.

Maty doesn't likey when Mommy and Daddy fight.

And now it's time the token unfortunate blonde dye job of the season, Radio Shack Karl to also open with the same spells routine. Okay, if all of America didn't know about this before the book 'The Game' and the first season of this show, OR from the dude running around the club with it fifteen minutes earlier, they deserve to sit through this horsesh*t Not one of the girls seem interested so he asks a question about them living here as he's walking away. It's awkward.

He starts talking to himself as he walks around and it's a bad situation. Maybe he'll have some new material for those guitar songs.

And MXC Brian on the scene to get us in a better mood! Let's hope something wonderful comes out of his mouth. Like a pull-your-finger bit. Tara says that his HAIR could be an opener. Tara's getting her own show next season. She's just too much.

MXC goes right into a five set with the Mick Jagger line, but doesn't engage the guys which will quickly freeze him out. Seeing he's about to crash and burn he goes where no other man will dare to go, which is using The 'Dor's line, "I like pickle juice." It rules and Matador kinda freaks out.

Oh, hey, man. I didn't realize you were in here.

The girls giggle and Matador confirms what we all are feeling: MXC Brian rules. Endearing, likeable, fearless. In his next set he uses the Jagger line again but this time introduces himself to the guy and this helps open the group up to him. And he really is likeable to everyone. Then he does a funny accent (Accents are go-to humor, people. Through in an accent and the laughter rolls.) He also spins a girl and gets a hug and then picks a girl up. Holy cow! This dude is on fire. He's beating Todd in my opinion.

Swamp Ass is up and he informs us he's got vomit mouth, but that little disturbing fact doesn't keep him from approaching a set pell mell and disorienting everyone in the process with his onslaught of openers. I mean, whew. Tara tut-tuts him for cursing too much. Ladies don't like cursing. Thank god I don't know anything about that.

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Posted in Pick Up Artist by InternetSensation at 5:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: pamelamn on Oct 28, 2008 04:27 PM.