Testimonials

He really is just a litany of what not to do. He repeats openers, he excludes the men, he swears like a sailor or me. I'm telling you. He should've stuck with the periodic table shirt. Tara announces that he has an air of desperation, which is the kiss of death/so true.

A moment of silence for the desperate and sad dudes everywhere. These fools pray for you.

Kevin is "miscalibrated" according to The 'Dor. Where does Matador come up with these big words? Surely they're not teaching him that at his part time stint at Rough Trade. What the hell does that even mean?

So now we've seen everyone and it's time to go out to the parking lot and announce the winner. This person gets applauded for opening multiple sets successfully and having such infectious enthusiasm and knowing how to utilize a well-placed accent for humorous effect...MXC Brian!

He is delighted and it couldn't have happened to an awesomer, record scratch inducing dude. He gets not only saved from elimination, but the opportunity to pick two wing men that are also safe from elimination. Which means now the dilemma arises of who to pick. According to Brian they're like "a hair on his butt". Hmm. Intimate. It's hard to pick between those hairs on your butt. Oh, who am I kidding? Everything he says is just adorable. We also learn in this conversation that he's been out there with these guys for two weeks now. What the hell have they been doing out there for two weeks?

Next day they're all nervous for the ceremony, even safe MXC Brian who is at a loss on who to pick. MXC Brian is a sensitive creature.

Every hair on my butt has a special place in my heart.

Vomiting in the name of friendship? Stay tuned for "Ragin' Asian of Love" to follow in the gilded footsteps of "Daisy of Love" and "Real Chance of Love". Vh1 loves love.

Vomit noises here.

Then he comes back from his confesh but still cries more back in the house. He's really taking this wing man thing to heart. I thought it was about saving your friends but apparently he's looking for a wing man that can "collaborate with him", like they're recording an album and going on a world tour of love, light and groupies.

And now for the symbol breakdown, which I can't listen to because then I feel like I'm endorsing this D&D subculture. And I already had to sit through shitty Max Pane and its butchery take on Norse Mythology this week. Enough with the weirdos and their runes!

Btw, does anyone else think Tara looks like a 'luuded out blow up doll for these group segments?

So MXC Brian steps up to get his white rune and then announce which two busters he's saving...he hems, haws, hems and Mystery has to prompt him to get on with it already. And... the two Ringers get called out! Mystery acknowledges how well Friend Todd did, but Greg Ringer gets a little slap on the wrist for being ass-boring. The three of them are dismissed and it's time for Mystery to handle the rest of 'em.

(28 year old) Virgin gets called out for leaving the sets too soon. Blonde Karl didn't recover after his first rejection. Osama Bin Sexy is over-the-top with his energy level. And Lauren Hutton just sucked hard with his inability to give proper love and devotion to the BOA. IT'S MAGIC IN MY HANDS!! blares Mystery. And Swamp Ass is oblivious to how much people don't like him.

So the first medallion goes to (28 year old) Virgin who did actually do better than anyone expected. Lauren Hutton gets the next medallion because he was saved by the girl who came up to him and because Mystery loves the boa.

But now we're down to the wire. Who's going to stay because none of these three were good. Osama Bin Sexy is saved but is reminded AGAIN that he needs to take that energy level down several hundred notches.

And it's between Radio Shack Karl and Swamp Ass. You know there's something about Karl that reminds me of Neil Strauss? Does anyone else see this? Tara thinks that Karl has potential if he could conquer his self-doubt and Matador tries to speak up for Swamp Ass but only winds up insulting him with a homoerotic metaphor about running out of fields to plow. At least he's consistent.

Mystery decides to go with his gut on this one.

And his gut wants some acid-refulx relief.

« Top Design: Mean Gays & Disco-Crystal Addiction | Main | Real Housewives of Atlanta: Don't Be Tardy For The Party! »

Posted in Pick Up Artist by InternetSensation at 5:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: pamelamn on Oct 28, 2008 04:27 PM.