So the weekly PUA viewing parties are going from crowded to Is-every-damn-person-in-Hollywood-at-Neil-Strauss's-house-this-very-second? Last week the boys were there, but this week THE MEN came. And by men I mean Mystery and The 'Dor. Here are some things I'd like to report. Mystery is even taller than he looks. And on several occasions he insinuated that I am a not a very positive person. Ha. Even a stranger can sense my emotional insensitivity.

And Matador. Now there have been many of you that have been commenting throughout the season about how hot Matador is and I've been all (in my head), I guess for, like, a beefcake or whatever. But people. The man is HOT. Smoking balls hot. You were right. Not me. I take back all the things I thought in my head about him not being as hot as y'all said. Now I was too busy doing tequila shots with Joe D. from season one to watch the episode that night, but I did see that it ended in a way that did NOT make me happy. Thank god the finale party will be even bigger than this week because even a lame final two can't squelch my excitement. And next week I'm bringing Flipit!

So the post-elimination room has gone from somber music to scary music as Simeon discusses the cold, hard facts. Three people left and one of us will be the pick up artist! Simeon geniusly surmises. Dun dun dunnnnn. Lauren Hutton says he hopes Virgin is going to come back because he's gotten closer to him. Oh, please. It's because he's not as much of a threat. I got your number, pal.

He pads his pro-Virgin argument with the "logic" that Mystery never taught them how to kiss threeway.

But he did teach 'em how to play footsie! The jokes write themselves, folks.

He even adds that to work two girls without the help of a wing is a "Herculean task". Oh, damn. He met us threeway and raised us orgy. Nice, Hutton.

Of course when our Ringer sashays on though, the boys hug and congratulate him. Cut to Greg's confessional where he says he knows they're a couple of fake hos. They debrief about the elimination ceremony and discuss how badly Virgin got it over not taking advantage of what he had (two hos!), even though it was his most successful outing yet. It's menage or bust, people.

Next day the gang arrives at the house to discuss the new challenge. Of course to master any given discipline, one must be able to teach it. And that is what they're going to have to do. Teach their friends everything they know in twenty-four hours! Of course Lauren Hutton is creaming his panties over this. He loves to teach! In fact he taught all of Italy how to pair wine and cheese. The world is just one giant potential student body for this professor of life! (I wrote that with my announcer voice in my head.)

And knock knock. The friends are here already! Tara skips over to answer the door in her continued efforts to have a purpose.

This will get our dogpiles back to where they used to be.

Mystery always has a trick up his sleeve! gushes Lauren Hutton. Um, didn't they do this last season, too? Tricky Mystery. Pulling one right from the production handbook.

So they all gather round, sitting with his respective "buddy" and they make some introductions. In Lauren Hutton's case, Mystery has produced a grizzly bear of a man-boy named Chuck. Simeon has a Ryan which makes his gleefully exclaim, we lost one and got another! So basically there has been no net gain or loss of Ryanage. The Xanadu expression on his face as he delivers is Theory of the Ryan/Rian is so earnest, it's almost adorable, but still settles somewhere around retarded.

Puppy + "Special" =Simeon's face

Greg has a Derek who looks like the New Ryan but with glasses. These boys have a type. And that type is redhead! So blah blah blah from Mystery about how it's not just about the girls OR pleasing His Highness, but also about recruiting more foot soldiers for the D&D army. The will defeat virginity one AFC at a time.

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Posted in Pick Up Artist by IS | Permalink | Comments (12)
Last Comment: amberpdidit on Nov 29, 2008 11:53 AM.