Testimonials

Hypnotoad: Yeah, NBC - because The Bionic Woman worked out really well. The 80s renaissance is over. It's all about the 90s now. Wake me up when it's time for Family Matters - The Next Generation. Plus, it's a freaking talking car. One season.

Flipit: Knight Rider brought us David Hasselhoff, and David Hasselhoff brought us, well, the world. I just hope this Justin Breuning guy shows up in twenty years on a home video made by his daughters wasted in his underwear eating a hamburger off the floor.

DearCrabby: They didn't hassle the Hoff, and sadly, the car gets the best dialogue. Will go the way of Bionic Woman.

Treadingonme: Will Arnett was signed on to do the voice of KITT, and then he was contractually obligated to Chevy or something so he couldn't do it. So, fuck this show.

LoLo:

Hey, I have 90210 and you have Knight Rider. Unnecessary remakes for everyone! One season.

TVgasm predicts:

One season.

The Mentalist, CBS, Sept 23

The story: A handsome detective who solves crimes with, get this, his MIND.

Bbitz: That guy is HOT. And just a lil' smarmy. If he keeps his shirt off I'll give it a full season.

Treadingonme:

I have no interest in any shows on CBS. This can't compare with Dexter, and I guarantee you I won't watch a second of it. One season.

LoLo:

Not only has CBS stolen this premise straight from the USA show Psych, but they've cast the cheesiest bastard on earth in the leading role. Congratulations, The Mentalist, you're my pick for worst new show. Yanked by midseason - CBS's desperate airing of promos doesn't make them look too confident.

Hypnotoad:

There was a Brita commercial before the trailer. I thought it was the show. Hee. The show is not about water filtration, but about a criminal expert. Just what CBS needs - another show about crime scenes and catching criminals. People will eat this shit up with a spoon. It'll make it to the second season, after that, god only knows.

Flipit: A detective using his observation skills to solve murders? That shit is wack and would never happen in real life. I was impressed when he decided a dead guy was gay because he'd had a pedicure. Fucking brilliant, Mentalist. Brilliant. Still, people love this crap. Multiple seasons. And also I have already started using the title in everyday talk. "Smooth move, mentalist." Thanks, Simon Baker!

DearCrabby:

Poor Simon Baker...acting jobs just haven't been the same since you gave a blow job to the fictional mayor in LA Confidential and ended up dead. I like you, but your agent sucks. As do the writers, given the pathetic scene promoted in the trailer. Still cute, though.

J-Mo:

A quirky, super-smart detective who notices the minute things nobody else does. Sounds fun. Like "Monk"... and "Cracker"... and "Columbo"... and "Ellery Queen"...

TVgasm predicts:

Either four episodes or four seasons. You heard us.

Worst Week, CBS, Sept 22

The story: Clumsy guy having, well, a bad week.

Treadingonme: See: Gary Unmarried

Bbitz: Is this a documentary about the first week of Christian Slater's show? 2 episodes.

Flipit: Wacky guy in a towel on the poster. And... the channel is already changed. Bad Sitcom. But it's after Two and a Half Men so it will still be on the air when the Asian babies I adopt in five years graduate from highschool.

J-Mo:

Hmmm, the Book Of Job brought to life as a TV series? I have enough misery in my real life, thank you...

LoLo:

...and that's about how long this show will be on the air.

Hypnotoad:

It's only a week? So, if it makes it past 7 episodes, will they have to change the title? "Worst Bi-Weekly Ever?" What is it with gimmicky shows? It looks okay and safe, which is what CBS likes. But gimmicks don't make for long-lasting shows. Pulled mid-season.

Hole in the Wall, FOX, Sept 11

The story: Human Tetris Gameshow that's "sweeping the nation".

Hypnotoad:

How the hell has this been "sweeping the nation" if it hasn't even started? And why does the trailer look like something made for SNICK in 1994? Are they airing it after Roundhouse and Are You Afraid of the Dark? Screw it - give me Double Dare and cancel this shit. Yanked mid-season.