One of our favorite traditions here at TVgasm is predicting the future. Click here to find out what we got right so far this season, and find out our guesses and add your own for the winter season after the jump!
1/4 Monday:
SuperStars of Dance on NBC at 9pm.
Chooch (TV Patrol): Michael Flatley is the host. This competition is almost like the Olympics. It's got a judge from each of the 8 countries competing. So there is no cheating, the judge of the pair's country, can't vote for them. This show will move to Monday the following night. It's finale will be on Monday, 1/26.
HoneyGangsta (The Bachelor): If the Lord of the Dance is hosting, will this be like worshiping at dance church? Will we get to take Dance Communion?
PopPrincess (Momma's Boys): If Cloris Leachman isn't involved, I ain't watching it.
Flipit (Top Chef, American Idol): I hope Flatley dances on some fire again like he did on DWTS this year. I have my fingers crossed that one day a flame will catch his coat tails and he will officially become the most flaming hetero dancer ever.
Mones (90210): I predict many dance montages set to Lady Gaga's "Let's Dance".
MandaMo (Stylista): Didn't Michael Flatley get accused of raping someone and then sue her for extortion? Who cares about dancing! I want to know about THAT! My prediction is that another woman will accuse him of rape this season. And that woman will be a one Miss Nigel Lythgoe.
Copyhacker (House): YAWN.
Flipit: But they're SUPERSTARS!!! OF DANCE!
Schoonie (Survivor, Big Brother): I'm sorry, but I have no desire to see yet MORE people dance on television, especially not if it is, like, Bosnian-Herzogovnian Clog Dancing or whatever.
TVgasm Predicts: This is a short, set season so it will last. If it's cancelled then it will have sucked far more than we could have ever guessed. Survival: 100%
Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels on VH1 at 9pm.
Chooch: Bret got his whores on a tour bus this time so he can just dump the loser off by the side of the road.
Flipit: Ah, back to where they were found in the first place! Rock of Love: Circle of Life.
Monamonzano (True Beauty): I'd watch if they started the cameras as soon as the girl got dumped from the bus. A stripper/hairdresser/model? At a Poughkipsie clan rally? Count me in!
YentaPatrol (Real Housewives of Orange County): Stripper poles, sluts and booze at 65 mph!! The highway patrol is gonna love this show.
Schoonie: This filmed in Chicago, and I actually saw the group of girls while they were filming (I happened to be in the same place at the same time) and I can tell you personally that this is going to be skank-tastic. I'm talking the "get your TV penicillin" type.
Copyhacker: Wait, what's Bret doing on a tour bus? Does he have a day job again? You can't tell me that Poison has any actual fans left.
HoneyGangsta: That bus is not going to make it 50 miles before simultaneously combusting - which is the only way to clean it anyway.
MandaMo: My prediction is that there will be an outbreak of pink eye when the girls decide to dabble in Bret's black eyeliner.
TVgasm Predicts: We smell something. Something really skanky. We're holding our noses, but there's no way in hell we're not gonna watch. 100%
The tool shed.
Tool Academy on VH1 at 10pm.
Chooch: This is what VH1 has to say about the show: "It's a new jerk-tastic series wherein 9 of the worst boyfriends ever are sent to relationship school to try to mend their rotten ways." Maybe they'll follow behind Brett's bus & pick up his losers.
MandaMo: I will be watching this show to see if any of my AMAZING ex-boyfriends made the cut! However, I like to believe they all died.
Dogsnaxx (24): Did comic strip Cathy come up with this "men suck" concept for a show?
Flipit: Cathy may be a dowdy loser, but she's usually right. I've watched all the teaser clips and trust me, these men do suck. But they work out. A LOT. I'm down!
Mones: Remember when VH1 was MTV's classier younger sister who didn't drink, do drugs, spoke proper English and never went past 2nd base, but was still fun to be with??? Now, much like their contestants, these shows go all the way. Another hit.
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Comments (13)
The return of Saturday Night Lights is about the only one of these that interests me. (Hurray!) Loved the gasmic comments, though.
1 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on January 5, 2009 9:09 AM
Mad hearts to Flippy for the massive editing job that must have been! The finished product is hi to the larious if I do say so myself.
2 of 13 | Posted by copyhacker | Posted on January 5, 2009 10:11 AM
OK, this was the best exchange ever. Much love to Flipit ;)
Monamonzano: Are you kidding me? This show is shit. SHIT! HA! Even the posters are boring . . .
Flipit: I just slashed your tires, skank. Call the cops. I DARE YOU! No judge would convict me.
3 of 13 | Posted by anicho01 | Posted on January 5, 2009 10:02 PM
I'm not gonna lie, I didn't read the whole thing yet, but I will. I did skim it though and skimming is almost reading, right? (Totally arbitrary sidenote: I didn't do that well in English classes)
Anyway, I love when you mash together these monster blog reviews, they're always hilarious. Here's my four cents about some of the shows (c'mon, pretend you care):
Scrubs - I used to love this show...then the last two seasons happened. Now I watch it and keep thinking 'Why didn't Zack Braff quit yet?'
Howie Do It - and I thought Deal or No Deal was the show that was going to make me start a three state killing spree
House - the damn show is called House, if it doesn't center around House I DONT CARE.
Lost - I sense a lot of Lost frustration from the panel. Personally, I loved the last season and i do think there is a plan. So there.
Thanks again Flip for doing these, they're always great.
4 of 13 | Posted by DrJerkass | Posted on January 6, 2009 4:43 AM
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS.
5 of 13 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on January 6, 2009 5:32 AM
For those who do not have DirecTV, Friday Night Lights has been it's typical good self...love the Taylors!!
6 of 13 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on January 6, 2009 6:41 AM
i could not stop looking at the picture of ashley simpson and pete wentz. his head is the cloverfield monster compared to her's- it is ridiculously large. i just keep feeling bad for her poor vagina if their kid had a head like its pop.
could not stop laughing while reading this especially the discussion about the howie mendal show. "You've been Howie do'd!" or "That's how howie does it!" i am rolling. i am hoping that they go with the howie do'd option.
7 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on January 6, 2009 9:59 AM
omg, reckless_saturn! I just DIED when I read your comparison of pete wentz' head to the cloverfield monster!
Flipit, can't believe you put this thing together so speedily. You are truly the butter to my bread...and the jar of vaseline to my spatula...
8 of 13 | Posted by MandaMo | Posted on January 6, 2009 10:35 AM
mandamo:
i mean his head has its own gravitational pull. sorry i am just floored. has anyone else noticed this? i guess i don't look at too many pictures of the lovely couple.
9 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on January 6, 2009 11:31 AM
This was like watching Mystery Science Theatre 3000...or reading it...or...huh? Which one of you is the robot?
10 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on January 6, 2009 12:00 PM
"Schoonie: I'd be all "This show's still on?" but I recap Survivor, so..."
HAHAHAHAHA omg, i laughed.
11 of 13 | Posted by sixty | Posted on January 6, 2009 3:42 PM
"Schoonie: I'd be all "This show's still on?" but I recap Survivor, so..."
HAHAHAHAHA omg, i laughed.
12 of 13 | Posted by sixty | Posted on January 6, 2009 3:42 PM
That's something I can keep in mind now. As long as "Survivor" is still on the air, "The Bachelor" will still be on the air.
13 of 13 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on January 6, 2009 7:02 PM