TVgasm Predicts: 100% on a full first season because VH1 already paid for it and their cheap. 60% on a second season, though.
Do you remember on Friends when Ross got his teeth bleached? Yikes.
1/5 Monday:
The Bachelor returns for it's 13th season on ABC at 8pm.
Chooch: ABC is recycling another guy who was sent packing by a 'Bachelorette". Jason is a single dad who gets to dump 24 girls to find true love. Paybacks are a bitch!
Copyhacker: Or maybe bitches are payback? I just want to see if Jason is going to go on and on about how he got dumped by the girl that went on and on about being dumped by the guy.
HoneyGangsta: Recyling the recycled. We should get carbon credits for watching.
MandaMo: I refuse to watch this show simply because we are supposed to pity this man and/or see him as a hero just because he is a single dad. Well, what about all the single moms out there?! We glorify the men and yet cast aside the women!? Based on principle, I will not succumb to watching yet another "Bachelor." My prediction: My stand-off will last three weeks until I accidentally catch a glimpse and become addicted yet again. Damn you, Bachelor!
Schoonie: I'd be all "This show's still on?" but I recap Survivor, so...
Monamonzano: This time, he's not just looking for love. He's looking for marriage (and, probably, down the line, a divorce). It's old hat, but I'll be watching when the roses are being doled out....this shit never gets old. It's a lot like me- immortal. And, awesome. And, always in luxury-wear.
Flipit: Dr. Laura says you shouldn't date when you have kids. Especially 24 girls at a time. I hope this show literally makes her head explode. That alone would make all of this worth it.
Dogsnaxx: They should just re-title themselves "who wants my sloppy seconds?"
TVgasm Predicts: Duh. 100%
Diet Tribe on LIFETIME at 10pm.
Chooch: Five fat friends go on a diet together for 90 days & get a TV show too! "From Fat to Fit" is their motto! That just motivated me to the donut box.
HoneyGangsta: What is 90 days going to accomplish? I've been on a diet since middle school and it still hasn't worked.
YentaPatrol: Doesn't Lifetime know that they're going to need at least one morbidly obese transgendered fat buddy to compete in today's market?
Cherie (Bad Girls Club): I'll watch because I firmly believe that just watching someone else exercise will make me lose weight.
Mones: So it's television for SKINNY women now, Lifetime?
Monamonzano: I have no idea what this show is but by the title, I'm going to assume that if it doesn't get picked up for a 2nd season, the producers will be deep-fried and eaten.
Flipit: Wow. They hired a lot of girls who look like Carnie Wilson for this show. Pass! Besides, if we all weren't sitting around watching Joe from Facts of Life run away from stalkers on Lifetime, we wouldn't be fat in the first place. Suck it, Lifetime!
TVgasm Predicts: 100% until season pick up time, when it goes down to 40%.
OMG I'M DOING DISHES YOU GUYS! I'M A GOOD PERSON!
True Beauty on ABC at 10pm.
Chooch: This is the show where all the contestants think they're in a beauty contest & the judges are looking for the phoneys. "Beauty comes from within" is their motto. I'm gonna throw up my donut.
Copyhacker: So it's a show to make us shallow Americans feel less shallow? Irony, thy name is reality TV. Just give us hot chicks already.
PopPrincess: Isn't Vanessa Manillo hosting this? You think they would find someone a little more au natural or with an ACTUAL PERSONALITY to host a show about inner-beauty. What, was Jessica Simspon not available?
HoneyGangsta: Everyone knows that the best way to feed starving orphans is to participate in a swimsuit competition. Good luck finding any phoneys - these girls are just here to do charity work!
Mones: If He is a benevolent God He will replace it with Lost re-runs by mid-season.
Cherie: Watching beautiful people be humiliated? Count me in!
Schoonie: Can't ABC just show old episodes of "Cavemen" in place of this crap?
Flipit: No. No one wanted to watch Cavemen. Know why? Cuz they were ugly.
Biggest Loser Couple
1/6 Tuesday:
Biggest Losers: Couples on NBC at 8pm.
HoneyGangsta: Fat couples? So everyone can get married except for me.
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Comments (13)
The return of Saturday Night Lights is about the only one of these that interests me. (Hurray!) Loved the gasmic comments, though.
1 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on January 5, 2009 9:09 AM
Mad hearts to Flippy for the massive editing job that must have been! The finished product is hi to the larious if I do say so myself.
2 of 13 | Posted by copyhacker | Posted on January 5, 2009 10:11 AM
OK, this was the best exchange ever. Much love to Flipit ;)
Monamonzano: Are you kidding me? This show is shit. SHIT! HA! Even the posters are boring . . .
Flipit: I just slashed your tires, skank. Call the cops. I DARE YOU! No judge would convict me.
3 of 13 | Posted by anicho01 | Posted on January 5, 2009 10:02 PM
I'm not gonna lie, I didn't read the whole thing yet, but I will. I did skim it though and skimming is almost reading, right? (Totally arbitrary sidenote: I didn't do that well in English classes)
Anyway, I love when you mash together these monster blog reviews, they're always hilarious. Here's my four cents about some of the shows (c'mon, pretend you care):
Scrubs - I used to love this show...then the last two seasons happened. Now I watch it and keep thinking 'Why didn't Zack Braff quit yet?'
Howie Do It - and I thought Deal or No Deal was the show that was going to make me start a three state killing spree
House - the damn show is called House, if it doesn't center around House I DONT CARE.
Lost - I sense a lot of Lost frustration from the panel. Personally, I loved the last season and i do think there is a plan. So there.
Thanks again Flip for doing these, they're always great.
4 of 13 | Posted by DrJerkass | Posted on January 6, 2009 4:43 AM
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS.
5 of 13 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on January 6, 2009 5:32 AM
For those who do not have DirecTV, Friday Night Lights has been it's typical good self...love the Taylors!!
6 of 13 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on January 6, 2009 6:41 AM
i could not stop looking at the picture of ashley simpson and pete wentz. his head is the cloverfield monster compared to her's- it is ridiculously large. i just keep feeling bad for her poor vagina if their kid had a head like its pop.
could not stop laughing while reading this especially the discussion about the howie mendal show. "You've been Howie do'd!" or "That's how howie does it!" i am rolling. i am hoping that they go with the howie do'd option.
7 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on January 6, 2009 9:59 AM
omg, reckless_saturn! I just DIED when I read your comparison of pete wentz' head to the cloverfield monster!
Flipit, can't believe you put this thing together so speedily. You are truly the butter to my bread...and the jar of vaseline to my spatula...
8 of 13 | Posted by MandaMo | Posted on January 6, 2009 10:35 AM
mandamo:
i mean his head has its own gravitational pull. sorry i am just floored. has anyone else noticed this? i guess i don't look at too many pictures of the lovely couple.
9 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on January 6, 2009 11:31 AM
This was like watching Mystery Science Theatre 3000...or reading it...or...huh? Which one of you is the robot?
10 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on January 6, 2009 12:00 PM
"Schoonie: I'd be all "This show's still on?" but I recap Survivor, so..."
HAHAHAHAHA omg, i laughed.
11 of 13 | Posted by sixty | Posted on January 6, 2009 3:42 PM
"Schoonie: I'd be all "This show's still on?" but I recap Survivor, so..."
HAHAHAHAHA omg, i laughed.
12 of 13 | Posted by sixty | Posted on January 6, 2009 3:42 PM
That's something I can keep in mind now. As long as "Survivor" is still on the air, "The Bachelor" will still be on the air.
13 of 13 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on January 6, 2009 7:02 PM