1/9 Friday:
Howie Do It on NBC at 8pm.
Chooch: Howie wanted his own show & since NBC has run "Deal or No Deal" to death, they said okay. It's kinda like "Candid Camera" but the cameras aren't hidden. Howie's allowed to do whatever he wants without touching anybody.
Mones: NBC, do you really think you can steal me away from the Ghost Whisperer's David Conrad with Howie freakin' Mandel?!? Carrot Top maybe.
Schoonie: Everytime I see this, I'm like "Okay, WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS?" the previews look like someone went "What is the exact opposite of funny?" and then they did just that. Deal or No Deal is not successful because of Howie Mandel, it's successful because it's the dumbest show on television.
Flipit: And it has lots of hot chicks who are also beautiful on the inside.
PopPrincess: The name "Howie Do It" makes me want to punch a baby. What's his line going to be? "You've been Howie do'd!" or "That's how howie does it!" I'm getting annoyed just writing this.
HoneyG: I just read that the theme song to this show is "This is How We Do It" by Montell Jordan. Playing that song will be the equivalent of Ashton running out with the cameras. I have to see that just once.
TVgasm predicts: 20% chance of success.
Monk returns to USA at 8pm.
Chooch: He's the detective version of Howie.
Flipit: Man I wish the networks would just stop screwing around and bring back Murder, She Wrote.
TVgasm predicts: Rumors were this show was cancelled last season. Most likely this will be it's last hoorah. 40% chance of making it through to next season.
1/11 Sunday:
24 on FOX has another four hour premier. It will finally land on Mondays on 1/19 & stay there.
Copyhacker: I haven't watched the last 2-hour 24 yet. How does that work exactly? Does it go twelve times as fast as normal time so we cover a whole day in 2 hours? Also, that was the one where Jack tortured some people, saved the country and got sold to the terrorists in return, right? I'm guessing we're in for more of the same.
Schoonie: I love how this show is always goes, "Excited for 24? Want to keep up all season? Well, here's 4 hours over two nights! Eff your DVR!" Screw you and your conservative anti-hero right in the pants, Fox. (Also, fun drinking game for 24: Anytime anyone says the word "Schematics", take a swig.)
Dogsnaxx: I predict a season with more twists and turns than the crotch-al shrubbery of a 70s porn star! Can't wait to recap this for you guys!
Flipit: Had to quit watching at midpoint last season because I kept falling asleep. But then I watched the recent TV movie and didn't know what the hell was going on which made me like it again. And Cherry Jones? HELL YES! Butchest President ever. I predict she will have at least one fight scene.
1/12 Monday:
Kyle XY returns to ABCF at 9pm.
Chooch: A robot who wants to be a real boy, like Pinocchio.
Flipit: But really, really hot.
Monamonzano: A really really hot pre-pubescent boy without a belly button but still with ab definition. Clearly, this is a show I can watch with my five year old nieces.
Flipit: And me. We can bond.
TVgasm Predicts: 90%. Children have already been putting silly putty in their belly buttons for a season, and there's no reason to think they will stop this year.
1/13 Tuesday:
American Idol returns on FOX at 8pm.
Chooch: We have some new chick for a judge. Where will she sit?
Copyhacker: More importantly, what's REALLY going to be inside her Coca-Cola (TM) cup?
Cherie: Wanna take bets on how long it'll take Paula to scream "Where is God?"
Flipit: Cannot wait for this. Supposedly it's gonna be awesome again. They've said that every year since 3, but at least they got rid of Idol Gives Back this time around so I won't have to make more starving African children jokes. Wait. Actually that was kinda fun. Dammit.
TVgasm Predicts: 100% it will return, but there's only a 45% chance that they can match their own high ratings from years past.
1/15 Thursday:
Dr. Drew's Sober House on VH1.
Chooch: I just hope Gary Busey will be a "counselor" again.
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Comments (13)
The return of Saturday Night Lights is about the only one of these that interests me. (Hurray!) Loved the gasmic comments, though.
1 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on January 5, 2009 9:09 AM
Mad hearts to Flippy for the massive editing job that must have been! The finished product is hi to the larious if I do say so myself.
2 of 13 | Posted by copyhacker | Posted on January 5, 2009 10:11 AM
OK, this was the best exchange ever. Much love to Flipit ;)
Monamonzano: Are you kidding me? This show is shit. SHIT! HA! Even the posters are boring . . .
Flipit: I just slashed your tires, skank. Call the cops. I DARE YOU! No judge would convict me.
3 of 13 | Posted by anicho01 | Posted on January 5, 2009 10:02 PM
I'm not gonna lie, I didn't read the whole thing yet, but I will. I did skim it though and skimming is almost reading, right? (Totally arbitrary sidenote: I didn't do that well in English classes)
Anyway, I love when you mash together these monster blog reviews, they're always hilarious. Here's my four cents about some of the shows (c'mon, pretend you care):
Scrubs - I used to love this show...then the last two seasons happened. Now I watch it and keep thinking 'Why didn't Zack Braff quit yet?'
Howie Do It - and I thought Deal or No Deal was the show that was going to make me start a three state killing spree
House - the damn show is called House, if it doesn't center around House I DONT CARE.
Lost - I sense a lot of Lost frustration from the panel. Personally, I loved the last season and i do think there is a plan. So there.
Thanks again Flip for doing these, they're always great.
4 of 13 | Posted by DrJerkass | Posted on January 6, 2009 4:43 AM
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS.
5 of 13 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on January 6, 2009 5:32 AM
For those who do not have DirecTV, Friday Night Lights has been it's typical good self...love the Taylors!!
6 of 13 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on January 6, 2009 6:41 AM
i could not stop looking at the picture of ashley simpson and pete wentz. his head is the cloverfield monster compared to her's- it is ridiculously large. i just keep feeling bad for her poor vagina if their kid had a head like its pop.
could not stop laughing while reading this especially the discussion about the howie mendal show. "You've been Howie do'd!" or "That's how howie does it!" i am rolling. i am hoping that they go with the howie do'd option.
7 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on January 6, 2009 9:59 AM
omg, reckless_saturn! I just DIED when I read your comparison of pete wentz' head to the cloverfield monster!
Flipit, can't believe you put this thing together so speedily. You are truly the butter to my bread...and the jar of vaseline to my spatula...
8 of 13 | Posted by MandaMo | Posted on January 6, 2009 10:35 AM
mandamo:
i mean his head has its own gravitational pull. sorry i am just floored. has anyone else noticed this? i guess i don't look at too many pictures of the lovely couple.
9 of 13 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on January 6, 2009 11:31 AM
This was like watching Mystery Science Theatre 3000...or reading it...or...huh? Which one of you is the robot?
10 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on January 6, 2009 12:00 PM
"Schoonie: I'd be all "This show's still on?" but I recap Survivor, so..."
HAHAHAHAHA omg, i laughed.
11 of 13 | Posted by sixty | Posted on January 6, 2009 3:42 PM
"Schoonie: I'd be all "This show's still on?" but I recap Survivor, so..."
HAHAHAHAHA omg, i laughed.
12 of 13 | Posted by sixty | Posted on January 6, 2009 3:42 PM
That's something I can keep in mind now. As long as "Survivor" is still on the air, "The Bachelor" will still be on the air.
13 of 13 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on January 6, 2009 7:02 PM